Anyone else perceive themselves to be tougher than they are?

[Keira]

Man, you really ARE guys,
who on earth cares if you can punch out an elephant
with one fist.

Most guys with a certain educaition and over
18 don't go around getting into fights. Its not
a goal!

I only really saw a lot of fighting amongst the young
and drunk guys...

[Elwood]

Then good! I'd like to hope I transitioned at a safe age where guys won't be pounding my face in on a regular basis. But I would like to be able to defend myself at the least... defend those I love... save a life, maybe (strength isn't all about fighting, but also defending). I'd like to think that if someone is being crushed under a car door, that I could lift it. I'd like to think that if my friend is being one-upped by a skinhead, that I could at least block a few swings until we can get away to safety. I'd like to hope that I can at least have a bit of fun with my life, too.

I love wrestling. But I'll probably never be strong enough or meet the weight class. But it is so much fun. It isn't about swinging at each other. It really is an intimate activity and both players (if they're good sports) leave energized. I love that feeling.

Posted on: July 19, 2008, 02:40:36 PMI don't see anything manly about beating the tar out of each other, but apparently it's part of the "male persona." I've got to get used to it because other guys are going to want to punch me sometimes... and they will. I can't just cry and roll around on the floor every time it happens.

[trannyboy]

I admit I liked the rush of fighting but I don't like fighting any more. It has to do with showing off that went away with testosterone. I see nothing manly about fighting. I know 4 people over 20 who actually enjoy fighting and all 4 of them are pretty screwed up guys. Most guys just move past that as they get older. You should take a self defense course aimed at people with disabilities. I know other people who didn't think they could defend them self if needed and these kind of things help. I am not however suggesting fighting but perhaps your skill needs to be learning to avoid being hit. Maybe you will always have trouble defending yourself and that doesn't make you less of a man. I am glad we live in the age we do as well. I am sorry my style of writing is offending you. It is not directed at you just how I write most of the time.

Because of my disabilities, I can't climb, drive, write by hand, hold things and walk well. I have a mobility service dog who makes my life better. The main reason I can hold the stance that I do is my dog. People rarely argue with 105lb dog though very friendly. It sucks however to be sick and perhaps with testosterone your life will be better. 

Rolling on the floor and crying is a good response. I am assertive not aggressive. I say my piece but I am not looking for a fight. Your small but if you scream, roar in anger, kick, punch, bite, grab clothes, claw throat, eyes, genitals etc you can cause them enough pain to back off attacking you long enough to run like hell to anyone else. Yes you might be hurt but you are going to be hurt anyways or else why fight.

I am on T and I am my own person but I don't think I am any more a man then you or anyone else on this board. To each their own, I am just trying to encourage you to believe in yourself.

->-bleeped-<-boy

[Elwood]

Self defense for disabled people? Now I've seen everything. I didn't know such a class existed. I'll look into it.

I am pretty much a monkey physically. I am fast, small, weak, and limber. I can dodge, run, skip, jump, climb... I just can't hit someone back and if you pin me I'll just squeal and kick. There really isn't anything I can do once someone's got a hold on me.

So apparently, I am not nearly as disabled as you are. I am one of the fastest climbers... well, maybe I should say I've never met anyone who could climb faster than me. I want to join some sort of climbing club so that I'll realize I'm really not so great.

[trannyboy]

Funny thing is to meet me you wouldn't automatically think I am disabled. I really miss climbing. Joining a club would be a great idea. I tried climbing a few months back and blacked out 3/4 of the way up:( lucky I was tied in). I loved the freedom of being able to climb anything in front of you. Check out your local community center or worker for self defense classes for you. You have a natural skill and I bet with strength training like climbing you would be a great wrestler. The wiry guys can be really strong. It never stops being scary though.

->-bleeped-<-boy

[Elwood]

Hm, that gives me a bit of hope. Because maybe with some stamina I'd be able to sufficiently protect myself. And that's all that really matters when it comes to fighting.

[kestin]

What's all this rough-housing? *shakes head*

XD

That was one of my main fears before realising I wanted to transition, I was afraid I'd become more aggressive. I've always hated violence and I don't even like arguing. Plus I kinda look down on that kind of thing, it just doesn't interest me (boxing and other sports that are similar) that are all about strength. It always seemed pointless *shrug* But as I researched I saw that generally transguys don't really become more aggressive, just more assertive.

I still fear though that once I do pass full time, blokes will be more likely to pick a fight with me if I say the wrong thing or am in the wrong place. That being said, I'm pretty good at taking pain lol.

I joke with my male flatmates when they're watching or playing violent video games, "Hey maybe when I'm a guy I'll actually like this ->-bleeped-<- too?"

[tekla]

I only really saw a lot of fighting amongst the young and drunk guys...


True, and those of us who had security duties in places where there were lots of young drunk guys.

[joannatsf]

I haven't been in a fight since becoming an adult.  There have been occaisions where there has been a lot of posturing but in the end one of us would back down.  Fighting as an adult is serious business.  If the cops get called someone will end up in jail, probably both of you.  Besides the hassle and expense of defending a felony charge, it would be very career limiting.  If I were convicted of a crime of violence I would be fired from my job and forfeit the possibility of licensure in just about anything besides driving a car.

Use your words, guys!

[Lachlann]

I think its one thing to be the instigator and another to be the one who gets caught in the crossfire.

I may not pick a fight, but there may arise an issue where someone is trying to start a scrap with me and I can't always run away. I may be forced to defend myself... and that sort of thing rarely happens with female against female. Women do have to watch their back with men and violence, but I think a man is more likely to start something or hit another male than they are to do that toward a female.

I do worry that I'll get stuck in a fight. While I'm not passive in that manner, I'm not about to go around picking fights or whatnot. Theres a time and a place, and its generally when you're defending yourself where I see it as a legitimate excuse.

I don't think a lot of it has to do with us all wanting to get into fights(even though its bloody fun with friends), I think a lot of us are thinking about self defence and when someone is trying to pick something or forcing us into a situation where a fight could occur. Words can't always get you out of a fight and not everyone is good with persuading others.

I may not be the typical young drunk guy, but there are others out there who are. And I don't think they give a piss whether I think like them or not.

[joannatsf]

I think its one thing to be the instigator and another to be the one who gets caught in the crossfire.

I may not pick a fight, but there may arise an issue where someone is trying to start a scrap with me and I can't always run away. I may be forced to defend myself... and that sort of thing rarely happens with female against female. Women do have to watch their back with men and violence, but I think a man is more likely to start something or hit another male than they are to do that toward a female.

I do worry that I'll get stuck in a fight. While I'm not passive in that manner, I'm not about to go around picking fights or whatnot. Theres a time and a place, and its generally when you're defending yourself where I see it as a legitimate excuse.

I don't think a lot of it has to do with us all wanting to get into fights(even though its bloody fun with friends), I think a lot of us are thinking about self defence and when someone is trying to pick something or forcing us into a situation where a fight could occur. Words can't always get you out of a fight and not everyone is good with persuading others.

I may not be the typical young drunk guy, but there are others out there who are. And I don't think they give a piss whether I think like them or not.

What situation might that be?  There is always an alternative to violence.  It's better to swallow your pride than your teeth!

Not long ago I had an altercation with a man on the street.  He had totally bought into my being female.  He had laid hands on me in an attempt to restrain me (grabbed my arm).  That is assault and battery under the law.  I would have been totally justified in defending myself.  He stepped back when I accused him of assault.  There he was, arms dangling at his side and me in a left eutral bow.  I could have cold-cocked him then and there and gotten away with it.  I didn't.  All I wanted was to get rid of the guy, not talk to the police.  So I cried.  The man wanted to feel powerful over a woman, so gave him that.  It didn't cost me anything, he went away and so did I.

[tekla]

There is always an alternative to violence.

Not always.  Sometimes people need to be handled, roughly at that.  Its not the best way, but neither is backing down.

[Kate]

Its not the best way, but neither is backing down.

Sometimes you do what you have to in order to survive. Sometimes there's no move left left but submitting and admitting defeat.

~Kate~

[Elwood]

What's all this rough-housing? *shakes head*

XD

That was one of my main fears before realising I wanted to transition, I was afraid I'd become more aggressive. I've always hated violence and I don't even like arguing. Plus I kinda look down on that kind of thing, it just doesn't interest me (boxing and other sports that are similar) that are all about strength. It always seemed pointless *shrug* But as I researched I saw that generally transguys don't really become more aggressive, just more assertive.

I still fear though that once I do pass full time, blokes will be more likely to pick a fight with me if I say the wrong thing or am in the wrong place. That being said, I'm pretty good at taking pain lol.

I joke with my male flatmates when they're watching or playing violent video games, "Hey maybe when I'm a guy I'll actually like this ->-bleeped-<- too?"

I like playful violence. I like struggle in good sport. Pretty much the sort of wrestling/punching each other where you're laughing. My friends did this when they were playing Guitar Hero. It was pretty hilarious. Pretty stupid, but pretty hilarious. Aaron was winning so Matt kicked him. Then Aaron took a massive swing at Matt. Matt kept kicking Aaron's ankle. At the same time they were trying to play Guitar Hero. It was funny for some reason... I've been in a similar situation and even if you're bruised afterwards it's something to laugh about later.

I like sports that require strength. Sports like rugby and basketball are good examples. Swimming is really awesome too, and requires some mean strength if you want to be fast. Wrestling is my favorite sport of all, and I don't mean the wrestling we see on TV. But real wrestling.

I met a transguy who became far more relaxed and content after T. I think that is what a successful transition is supposed to look like.

I never really say things like "when I'm a guy." I already am one... I don't have all of the physical specifications, but I'm not going to say I'm a girl. I never really was one, even when I was really young. When I was really young, I was pretty androgynous.

Posted on: July 20, 2008, 10:30:23 AMThe best way to deal with a fight is not to fight. Guys get bored if they beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of you and you're not fighting back. They'll beat you 'til you bleed and leave you alone (if they're not skin heads, then they'll kill ya). A bloody nose isn't so bad in comparison to fighting and maybe pissing the guy off enough to kill you. I speak from experience. I get hurt a lot less when I run, dodge, block, or just take it.

Then again, this is a weak, small person talking. If someone gets mad at me, they can pick me up and throw me wherever they want.

[Lachlann]

What situation might that be?  There is always an alternative to violence.  It's better to swallow your pride than your teeth!

Not long ago I had an altercation with a man on the street.  He had totally bought into my being female.  He had laid hands on me in an attempt to restrain me (grabbed my arm).  That is assault and battery under the law.  I would have been totally justified in defending myself.  He stepped back when I accused him of assault.  There he was, arms dangling at his side and me in a left eutral bow.  I could have cold-cocked him then and there and gotten away with it.  I didn't.  All I wanted was to get rid of the guy, not talk to the police.  So I cried.  The man wanted to feel powerful over a woman, so gave him that.  It didn't cost me anything, he went away and so did I.

I'm not talking about pride. Theres no shame about backing down from a fight, but the situations I'm talking about are the ones where I have no choice but to fight to survive or defend myself. There are some situations where I can talk myself out of a fight, but there are also some where someone might want to murder me or even corner me and wont listen to words. There are dangerous situations where someone might have a weapon and I need to disable them so I don't get killed and there may also be someone who isn't mentally well or under the influence and wont listen to me. These occasions may not arise all that often, but I'd rather know how to save my own life or to save myself from a lot of grief. I think these are all reasons to justify violence and should be the only reasons, outside of sports like martial arts and things.

There are women who take self defence classes for these reasons too. I'd rather be safe than sorry and to be able to defend myself and only use violence when absolutely necessary. Its like martial arts, you aren't trained to pick fights but to defend yourself.

[Sephirah]

But the thing about martial arts and self defence classes is that they teach you how to use your opponent's strength against them. You don't have to be built like a battleship to be able to defend yourself effectively. Granted, it may deter a few people who would otherwise fancy their chances, but if self defence is what you're focused on then you can learn to defend yourself no matter what size, shape or gender you are.

Every adversary has weaknesses, and if you know how to exploit them then your physical capability won't matter nearly so much. In my opinion, it doesn't need to be about increasing your strength or physical power in order to defend yourself, it's about how you employ what you already have. If you apply pressure to the right nerve clusters, you can disable someone no matter if you're 4'10" or 6'10". The key is learning where to press.

[Lachlann]

I completely agree, Leiandra. The martial arts bit was only a reference to when violence should be used.

It doesn't matter how tall we are or how much we weigh, its how you go about defending yourself. Theres no cookie cutter way of doing any of that, anyone who is able bodied can disable someone without doing much harm to the opponent.

[Chamillion]

Physically, nah, I know I don't have a chance against most guys, which is fine by me though cos I've never seen the point in fighting. Mentally though I consider myself pretty tough, cos life has thrown a lot of obstacles my way but I've never let it get me down and always try to stay positive. To Elwood, mate, you gotta stop putting yourself down. You're a guy because you know you are, who cares about people who judge a man by his size or ability to fight?

[Elwood]

I don't think I have to be built like a battleship to defend myself.

But my body is literally the size of a small child's. I need to at least weigh more so that a person can't blow me over through a straw.

[Keira]

Elwood, You don't have to "defend" yourself,
just don't put yourself in a bad spot.

Unless you go out looking for a fight, a fight
very very rarely finds you.

That's why I laugh at gun addicts and self-defense
fanatics. If someone took held them up at gunpoint,
the sane thing would be to give up their money
regardless of their training

The key thing is just don't put yourself
in a situation where ->-bleeped-<- happens
and that will save you 99% of all possible
confrontation.

Unless somebody's you're physically restrained,
which would most likely happen if somebody
you trust attacks you,
the best thing is to run towards somewhere
where there are people and make lots of noise
while you're doing it.