New Step in my Transition

[Kim]

My wife and I talked at length 2 nights ago and decided to explain my being to our 3 children who are 6, 4 and almost 3. We chose the way we would explain it and how to approach it. I got up yesterday and rather than wearing sweats and t-shirt over my lingirie I wore on my nightgown and wore nylons under it as well. They have seen me in nylons but never questioned it so we had no idea if my nightgown would peak their curiosity, but it did and when our 6 year old asked questions we sat them down and explained it over breakfast to them, emphasizing we can't tell anyone yet about me. It went real well and they seem very much alright through it all. Today is my second day in a skirt and blouse in front of them. Our 4 year old who is a girl wants a pair of pumps like 'daddy's' now and she asked if I would paint her fingernails for her. I have totally shedded my traits I used when I tried to pass as male as I no longer have to play the part of male around the kids. I am no longer trying to use a masculine voice as I had been and this too seems alright with them. As a matter of fact they seem a lot closer to me now bond wise as my whole true self is free. When I played the part of male around them I now realize some of my true self was still being hidden. Now I am me,Kimberly-Anne and even my wife finds it a lot better because as she said it was like watching a clown in a circus doing a juggling act!!lol   

[wolfie]

I'm really glad that went so well for you Kim! It was definately a very helpful move to be able to do it while they are young, as well, it seems like your family is very loving and supportive of your transition (especially your wife). Now all you have to do is be the woman that you are.

    Tino

[Kim]

Thank you Wolfie. It certainly feels a lot better living full time as 'me' rather than half and half. We all wear same uniforms at work and I have been wearing my bra and nylons etc. under that and have been using my true voice rather than my male one for a while now. mostly out of having my guard down being so busy (by-law enforcement officer) and have been ma'amed a few times now on the phone, which was when I realized I had been using my proper voice. And I am very lucky my wife is so supportive.

[Robyn]

The earlier children know, the easier for them to accept.  (IMHO, of course.)  A few years later and it would have been too late for your oldest.  Hopefully, by the time they are in junior high, things will have changed enough for them not to be bullied because their dad has changed sex. 

Bright blessings.  You're all off to a wonderful start.

Robyn

[stephanie_craxford]

... and even my wife finds it a lot better because as she said it was like watching a clown in a circus doing a juggling act!!lol   

I'm so glad that it went well for you Kim.  My partner Gillian said the same thing when we decided to come out.  She found it so much easier to manage not having to try and keep our two worlds from colliding.  It makes things so much easier for everyone in the long run.

Steph

[jamie lee]

kim it's wonderful you were able to tell your kids at a early age.
I really really wish I would have come out sooner,and was able to talk to my kids at a earlier age, however they now range from early 20's to 30 with 3 grandchildren. I really scared I'll loose them If I tell them now. I too have a wonderfully supportive wife, but at this point she thinks we should keep it between us until we can figure the best way, time  to tell them.

Jamie Lee

[Jillieann Rose]

Hi Jamie Lee,
My wife is not very supportive but she has excepted that I am a transgender person. I have also told my sons who range fro 30 to 21 and I have 4 grandchildren. My wife and I both feared that they would not acccept me.
All but the youngest have said that they love me and will always love me.
They are not been supportive of my transsexuality but they do continue to show me how much they love me. And no because of how they feel I don't dress as a woman I am around of them because I know they would be very unconfortable for them.

Jillieann

[Kim]

Jamie-Lee
  We are lucky to have such wonderful wives. I find the wisest way to keep the marriage strong is to listen to my wife as my transition is more natural rather than something I'm working through. She keeps me at a pace comfortable to both of us and I am glad for that. I imagine you and your wife are the same kind of team, but just be sure to listen to her advice on this delicate subject and working as a 'team'. Good luck with it.

[Sheila]

Kim,
  One thing that I have learned is to be very patient with all your loved ones around you. You have had a lifetime of getting to know yourself, they are just beginning. There will be a time when you become very confident about yourself and will want to speed your transition up. You may put a gap between you and your loved ones. So, always be patient if you want to keep your loved ones around. I have a 36 year old daughter and 34 year old son. My daughter with her son accept me. My grandson's only question to me was when he was in kindergarten was grandpa why do you want to be a girl. I told him that I am a girl and have always been that way. Him and his mother decided on a different name and it is grandma Sheila. It has been 4 years now and no questions and my daughter has a new person in her life all accepting. My son is a different subject. Haven't talked to him in 4 years now.
Sheila