Various FtM Questions!

[Elwood]

An assortment of various annoying but pertinent questions. 

RLE/RLT

My dad seems really accepting of the idea. He was quite relieved when I read him the part of the Standards of Care that addresses living full time. But he'd still like to know what exactly it includes. I would like to as well. I'm guessing it's living in the role you wish to be in. Well, my dad asks, "how do you prove you're a man?" He, like a lot of people, thinks that the male gender is more than just, "ME LIKE BEEF. ME LIKE GIRLS. ME LIKE TRUCK." You know? He said it was more than just cross dressing, and he's right. A cross dresser is not necessarily a transsexual. So what part of RLE is any different than pretending or cross dressing for fun?

Also, is it true that RLT is documented differently by each therapist? What do they use as a guide? Their own judgment? Or is there some sort of reference with standards on it? I am not trying to "meet" those standards, but my dad and I are curious.

Lastly, I came out about half a year ago. I've been "cross" dressing for about a year and 3 months. However, I have never asked people to call me a "he" and I haven't used a male name yet. So does that mean all my past history doesn't count? Or is that different for each therapist as well? I'm just worried that I'd have to start day one with my therapist, RLE for a year or two or whatever before I got access to testosterone. In the big picture, I'm okay with that. But I just want to know what might happen... if anyone knows. As soon as RLE starts, I'll be a lot happier. I'll have a letter from a therapist that says this is a medical process, so I can get a job easier (instead of just being a "weirdo"). I'll also have more confidence from my parents that this is the right thing.

Testosterone

How is testosterone injected? Into the blood? The muscle? I ask again merely out of curiosity. I'll find out about dosage amount when I get to that point.

Also, what other methods are there? I have heard about implants that gradually release hormone into the body. How does that work, does anyone know? How long does the thing last? Anyone here worked with one? Is there anything like a testosterone patch?

Anyone have information about testosterone taken orally? I hear it's really risky and ineffective, but I'm just curious, again. What is it usually used for?

Etc.

How do I get my mind off of transgender ->-bleeped-<-? Seriously. It's like, all I can think about lately. Anyone have any ideas? Even when I watch a movie, I'm envious of the guys who are cisgendered and stuff. Gah. It's spiraling thoughts in my head like crazy.

[Jamie-o]

I can't help you much with RLE, since I will be starting T before going full time.  But I think how it works is very much dependent on the judgment of the individual therapist.

T is injected into the muscle.  Here is a pretty good tutorial on injecting T.  It's hilariously cheesy, but informative.

http://www.youtube.com/v/PdlduQ4G20g&hl=en&fs=1

Other methods I've read about include the patch and creams and gels that are usually rubbed on your chest.  From what I hear, all of those methods are more expensive than injections, and typically produce less dramatic effects.  On the other hand, because you are exposed to lower amounts of T in more frequent doses, you may experience fewer of the emotional ups and downs that come from having varying amounts of T in your system.  Also, if you go with gel or cream, you have to be very careful about physical contact with other people (especially women), because the testosterone can be transfered.

There are also oral versions available, but everything I've read says that you should avoid that method. at least long-term, because it can cause major damage to your liver.

T-Boy is the only person I've heard of using an implant, although the technology has been used on women to dispense birth-control for some time.

Re: Getting your mind off transition - If you find a way, please share.  I have the same trouble.  Sorry, no help there.  But maybe your new therapist will have some suggestions, since s/he has had experience with transgendered people.

[Elwood]

Ah, so it's appropriate to poke myself in the leg... that's good. Probably the biggest muscle in my body is my ass or thigh, but I figure aiming for the front would be easier.

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone. Transition is like, all that's on my mind lately. I guess that's because I'm getting so damn close I can taste it!

[noxdraconis]

I think most of us here have transition on the brain.  Its probably what makes this forum so active and insightful.  I too have a hard time thinking of something other than transitioning.  I find solitary activities that have little to do with even thinking about other people helps.   Things such as television, music, and books usually cause thoughts to stray toward recognizing the existance of other humans, so i try to engage in other activities such as playing with my dog, drawing up blueprints, or building ramps, rails, and boxes.

[trannyboy]

I am the only FTM I have met on pellets but I have heard of other cases mainly in Australia, New Zealand and Europe. You can get them pretty easy in the US but in Canada it is very hard. I am going to have them compounded up once I know my ideal numbers. (i.e. what dose of each hormone and what size to make the pellets). I do know a few bioguys who use them. It isn't a beginning treatment because you need surgery to stop it in an emergency. Once you are on TRT and plan to be on it long term then it is an option. It is cheaper then injections only if you implant it yourself or it is covered by insurance. Thats why I am being taught the procedure so I can do it when I need it.

Fused pellets last 4-6 months and compressed 2-3 months. I actually use about a quarter of my injection dose for the same levels and no additional fat (why is it a good idea to put fat in my bloodstream). I like it because it removes patient dosing compliance issues. It isn't hard to learn, it is basically like giving a needle. I think I would be nailed by a mod for listing formulas of the pellets but in short it is basically find the right dose and that will tell you how much surface area it need to give you that dose and that tells you the dimensions of the pellet. I have a long post you can read in the HRT section. I posted some more info on injections in another thread.

->-bleeped-<-boy

[Elwood]

Ech. Since my dose will probably be small (I'm just guessing, I'm a small person, so I don't think I'll need a lot of T, but I could be wrong) I don't see how a pellet would be right for me.

[trapthavok]

God, that needle in the video freaked me out. I didn't used to be scared of needles all my life, til my last hospital visit where I'd wake up at various times of day just to find a needle in my leg or arm. Damn doctors, freaking me out injecting me while I'm sleeping. I want to take T by shot based on that info so badly but I can already hear the change in my breathing as I'm typing this. Just gonna have to suck it up, cause I want it badly enough to put my fears behind me.

[Elwood]

Phobias are perfectly curable! Tell your therapist about this phobia. It might take a few months, but they can help you completely abolish your fear of sharp things.

I actually really like needles and how they feel. I'm afraid I'll like poking myself a little too much. I kind of have to suck in air when they take in blood. The doctors think it's pain but it's actually quite pleasurable... Better than masturbation for me and all that. I sometimes worry that I'll adopt the habit of self harm for pleasure. I'm a bit of a masochist.

[trannyboy]

Elwood- Yeah you have a different dose then me but unless you are intersexed it isn't going to be a huge difference in amount. Something like if I took 3 you might use 2. The pellets are tiny and last a long time. Even women use them in smaller doses.

Trap- Since you have become scared of needles, you can stop being scared. Work with your therapist and you will be fine. However if you really can't handle it the gel is an option but get a 10% compound not androgel. So is mucus patches and some injections can be given every 3 months.

Oral is very bad and I don't trust the new one either.

->-bleeped-<-boy

[Elwood]

The pellets concern me. If I have to replace the pellet every couple months instead of T doses every couple weeks... it just seems a little impractical. And where does it go? Do the pellets dissolve in the body?

[Nero]

Phobias are perfectly curable! Tell your therapist about this phobia. It might take a few months, but they can help you completely abolish your fear of sharp things.

I actually really like needles and how they feel. I'm afraid I'll like poking myself a little too much. I kind of have to suck in air when they take in blood. The doctors think it's pain but it's actually quite pleasurable... Better than masturbation for me and all that. I sometimes worry that I'll adopt the habit of self harm for pleasure. I'm a bit of a masochist.

Oh god dude me too! course for different reasons

[Luc]

Most of what I would have answered in this thread has been answered already, but I do have one very important thing to add that that youtube doesn't cover.

When I first started my T shots, they hurt like hell. I tried different sites, but nothing helped. Then one of my good ftm friends told me that if you aim the eye of the needle toward your torso when injecting, it doesn't hurt. It works so incredibly well, I can't imagine why no one ever told me that before. I haven't had pain with injection since.

Good thing for those of you on T or about to be on T to keep in mind.

SD

[Elwood]

When I first started my T shots, they hurt like hell. I tried different sites, but nothing helped. Then one of my good ftm friends told me that if you aim the eye of the needle toward your torso when injecting, it doesn't hurt. It works so incredibly well, I can't imagine why no one ever told me that before. I haven't had pain with injection since.

Muscle shots hurt more than vein shots. I've had a muscle shot done in my arm, and my whole arm was hard and tense for 2 days after.

So pointing the needle at an upward angle helps? That's interesting.

Posted on: July 20, 2008, 10:07:02 AM

Phobias are perfectly curable! Tell your therapist about this phobia. It might take a few months, but they can help you completely abolish your fear of sharp things.

I actually really like needles and how they feel. I'm afraid I'll like poking myself a little too much. I kind of have to suck in air when they take in blood. The doctors think it's pain but it's actually quite pleasurable... Better than masturbation for me and all that. I sometimes worry that I'll adopt the habit of self harm for pleasure. I'm a bit of a masochist.

Oh god dude me too! course for different reasons

Really? I'm curious. What reasons? If you want to share, that is.

[Nero]

yeah, I don't mind. ex heroin addict. actually, i'm going to have a problem when i get on T because i really can't handle a needle without cravings. my cat is diabetic and someone else always has to inject him for that reason. so, i hope i dont live alone when on T. lol

[Elwood]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I missed this before:

I can't help you much with RLE, since I will be starting T before going full time.

How do you do that?

Posted on: July 20, 2008, 06:23:29 PM

yeah, I don't mind. ex heroin addict. actually, i'm going to have a problem when i get on T because i really can't handle a needle without cravings. my cat is diabetic and someone else always has to inject him for that reason. so, i hope i dont live alone when on T. lol

So it still isn't masochism, it just makes you think of the drugs? The two are a tad different.

This is more like, "Oooh, that feels weird. Hmm. Maybe not weird. More like great!"

I realized it the first time I burned my arm resting against a light bulb. It felt warm and cold at the same time. Then I noticed my arm was raw and screaming. I realized it was self injury in the worst form-- I hadn't a clue that I was harming myself at all.

[Osiris]

Elwood, I hear ya on certain kinds of pain makes for great pleasure. The sensation you describe with the light bulb is why I take showers at hot temperatures.

As for needles... Well there's a reason why I'm collecting tattoos. lol

[Elwood]

I take showers at hot temperatures because if I don't put it on steaming hot I feel cold.

Although, I've started considering taking cold showers. For me, the shorter the shower, the better. I'm starting to just loathe my body.

[trannyboy]

Pellets can be done every 2-3, 4-6 or 10-12 months depending on size of the pellet. Currently injections normally are 7-10 days with a few specialty versions of T lasting up to 3 months with extreme highs and lows. Pellets are basically small depots of pure testosterone that release stable testosterone levels into the blood throughout their useful life, will dissolve completely and offer just testosterone (or whatever hormone is put in). Injections requires higher doses and need to be processed by the liver before they are useful. Testosterone in the pellets is testosterone crystals in the injection it is esterfied. Your body absorbs the testosterone the same way it would from the testicles. Testosterone is basically fat and the pellets are basically melted testosterone formed into a shape. Nothing more, nothing less. Your body use the testosterone metabolizing it and excretes.

Yeah, always make sure the bevel is facing up. If you are pointing the needle towards your lower leg then the bevel goes towards your lower leg, if you are pointing the needle towards your body the bevel goes towards your body. Nobody does it 90 degrees perfectly just figure out which you are pointing and making sure the bevel isn't towards the skin. Inject slower and massage the area afterwards. Whatever you do relax your muscle or it will hurt a lot more.

I have nothing against self harm as long as you are clean and careful. If you can't do that find a more manageable form of self harm. I cut actively for 6 years and didn't get any physical problems because I made sure to do it right. Now I just use ways people don't recognize as self harm. Everyone praises me because they think I stopped and mainly I just think they are nuts. If I get better effects from self injury to control my depression and other issues then therapy and drugs, whats the big deal. It isn't like their routes don't cause injury and side effects. Hell mine works instantly when I need it and theirs require years of hating myself and drugs so I can be cured. I will take the self harm, thank you very much. I know what happens when my body is injured and heals, no one know the effects of these drugs they pump you full of.

->-bleeped-<-boy

[Elwood]

Ah, you've better described them now. So maybe they will be an option one day long term... But certainly not in the early stages.

So would an angle like 105 degrees be okay for injection?

I don't know if cutting would help me. It would be nice not to have scars all over my body.

[trapthavok]

Phobias are perfectly curable! Tell your therapist about this phobia. It might take a few months, but they can help you completely abolish your fear of sharp things.

Trap- Since you have become scared of needles, you can stop being scared. Work with your therapist and you will be fine. However if you really can't handle it the gel is an option but get a 10% compound not androgel. So is mucus patches and some injections can be given every 3 months.

Really?? I actually completely forgot about the fear until I started thinking about T. That and when I get blood drawn and stuff, it's like "OMG NEEDLE." I'll write it down so I remember to bring it up with my therapist, see how she can help me. It's not a big deal for me right now, since I don't have to stare down a needle everyday, which is probably why I forgot to bring it up with her. Thanks 


Based on the info ->-bleeped-<-boy just posted, it sounds like I want to take it by injection. I'm paranoid about pills/pellets, I feel like the straight up injection of T into my body will be quicker/more effective. That and it'll be cheaper