a cake without icing

[Haru]

Hello I'm Haru, its nice to meet you.
I've been a cross dressing ever since the day my mother had her second mental break down, and decided that I was a girl for a week, and even made me wear a girls bathing suit to the beach. (I was only 4 then)
I've always been quite feminine looking/acting and quiet. I've been off and on cross dressing since then, starting out from just using my moms hair clips and looking at myself in the mirror, to switching clothes with a female friend of mine and playing house.

I stopped for long periods in between because i felt guilty or weird, and wanted to try and fit in better. (since i had few to no friends for much of my school life) Even as a child I would daydream about what it would feel like to be a girl.

Up until high school I had never been able to get along with boys. they seemed to me as if they were unable to understand the feelings of others, and I have never truly categorized myself as being the same as them. I wouldn't say I categorize myself as a female either though. although I feel closer to female than I do to male.

well thats enough about my past, currently I Have no family, and am living with my only friend temporarily, in a new country that i don't quite understand, america is a strange place and i can't say my stay has been too pleasant so far. I'm currently bogged down with getting settled here, and because of this i have no way to cross dress, or do much of anything in that sort, because my friend still has no clue that I cross dress, and I'd rather not test it at the moment in this situation.

I'm feeling very lonely and isolated here with no drivers license or way to get around, and the climate here in the south is far hotter than it was in canada. 

I'm quite a big anime/manga fan, and enjoy drawing characters from my imagination, in my free time. hopefully I'll get accepted by the publishing company I'm sending my comic idea to, but in the meantime I hope we can be good friends.

(I've read all the rules and so on, and i'll try my best not to step out out of line)

[tinkerbell]

Hello Haru and welcome to Susan's!

Thanks so much for introducing yourself.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay.  it's wonderful to have you here! 

tink

Posted on: July 23, 2008, 09:49:45 PM

(I've read all the rules and so on, and i'll try my best not to step out out of line)

Ahhh good!   

[NicholeW.]

Hi, Haru,

Welcome to Susan's. That sounds like a lot of change in your life lately. But it also sounds like you have some pretty healthy ways of getting through it.

As for "getting used to America." Hmm, that can be difficult for those of us who have always lived here; I can imagine the problems someone coming from elsewhere might have.

Settle in and make yourself at home and hopefully we can help ya out and you can help us out. Heck, maybe someday we'll all begin to get used to America!

Nichole

[deviousxen]

 Hey. We'd certainly get along. I'm a tad Otaku myself, but I pretty much do everything. And Canada to the South? I feel terribly for you...


As for your mom thinking you were a girl... I kinda WISH my Mom had done that D":

Cause then I would have known younger. Lol. Nice to "meet" you. Welcome.

[Haru]

As for "getting used to America." Hmm, that can be difficult for those of us who have always lived here; I can imagine the problems someone coming from elsewhere might have.

Settle in and make yourself at home and hopefully we can help ya out and you can help us out. Heck, maybe someday we'll all begin to get used to America!

thanks for the concern hun, america is a very strange place, and sadly lacking most in the food, and manners department, but there are some polite, friendly people here. my opinion of america at the moment,  is probably slightly skewered in the wrong direction due to home sickness.

I've noticed that most born americans seem just as out of place and uncomfortable as i do. everybody seems to be grouped into these little color coded circles of friendship, and everybody seems to be paranoid about somebody shooting and killing them if there at all out of the ordinary here. but hey maybe its just my area.

here's hoping that other americans, take people like yourself for example and learn to take life a bit easier, and treat there fellow person with kindness and love, rather than general dislike, and slight wariness.


Posted on: July 23, 2008, 10:17:58 PM

As for your mom thinking you were a girl... I kinda WISH my Mom had done that D":

ya if only that was the only affect of her mental break downs, I'd have made her have them more often. sadly it was only one of her delusions and only lasted a week, before getting back on meds. After her seventh breakdown she no longer remembered who i was most of the time.

But enough about that depressing stuff, I'm glad there are other Otaku, on here. What sort of anime/manga are you into if you don't mind me asking?

[JonasCarminis]

welcome.   whats your display picure of?  it looks so familiar, but i cant place it. >_<  and ROFL i love your sig!!!

[Chrissty]

Hi Haru,

Welcome from London in the UK.

From what I've seen, your're not going to be short of people who like anime
and manga here...

...mabe you could post some of your character drawings for us to see when you get time...

Take Care..



Chrissty

[Haru]

welcome.   whats your display picure of?  it looks so familiar, but i cant place it. >_<  and ROFL i love your sig!!!

Thank you.

They're tree spirits from princess mononoke, I've always found them really cute.

Thanks, I'm sure we've all had times when our inner personalities disagree with each other, Mine seem to be in a love hate relationship most of the time.

Posted on: July 25, 2008, 10:12:13 AM

Hi Haru,

Welcome from London in the UK.

From what I've seen, your're not going to be short of people who like anime
and manga here...

...mabe you could post some of your character drawings for us to see when you get time...

Take Care..



Chrissty

Thank you, I've always wanted to visit London, A writer friend of mine tells me its nice up there.


I've noticed that there seem to quite a few people who like anime, and manga here.

When I'm able to post pictures I'll definitely post some of my drawings, although I'll need to be careful not to break any rules here, I'm not sure how much artistic nudity is allowed, so I'll stay on the safe side until I find out exactly what I'm able to post and what I'm not.

[tekla]

Welcome, and America is a huge place with many different cultures sometimes all inhabiting the same place and time, so I can imagine that it is most confusing to come here from somewhere else, and Japan would be very hard, as nowhere else I've ever been has been like Japan.  So breathe deep.  We don't all understand it either.

[Haru]

Welcome, and America is a huge place with many different cultures sometimes all inhabiting the same place and time, so I can imagine that it is most confusing to come here from somewhere else, and Japan would be very hard, as nowhere else I've ever been has been like Japan.  So breathe deep.  We don't all understand it either.

Thanks, I've heard all about japan and there unique culture from my grandparents, my grandfather is half Japanese half Italian, and was abandoned as a child, he and my grandmother went to live in japan for a while so that he could reacquaint himself with the other side of his cultural heritage. this was back in the 70's though, and very different than the japan of today I'm sure, but I've heard many interesting things from them. there was an old man in who walked in on them in an mixed bath, and thought that my grandmother was a demon, he ended up running all the way home completely naked.


hopefully I'll get to visit someday. I might end up going to comiket with a friend of mine who goes once a year.   

I'll try to be accepting of america and there odd mix of cultures, as you say I'm sure moving to japan would be far more of a culture shock.

[deviousxen]

Aww... I'm sorry. Thats terrible. *hug*

As for stuff I watch and read when I can...
.Hack Sign, Paranoia Agent, Dragonball Z, Gundam Wing, Black Heaven, Noein, Trigun, Serial Experiments Lain, Avatar, FullMetal Alchemist, Invader Zim, Metalocalypse, Venture Bros., X-files, Heroes, FLCL, etc

FLCL, Q ko chan, Stone, Ragnarok, X-day, some of ultimate X-men. Etc etc etc.

If you have a deviantart, mine is deviousxen.deviantart.com

and my website is http://caffeinaliens.com

Aim is Xensnocturne

etc etc etc.

I think that your profile pict looks like the artist who did Q ko and FLCL mangas. Cool.

As for "getting used to America." Hmm, that can be difficult for those of us who have always lived here; I can imagine the problems someone coming from elsewhere might have.

Settle in and make yourself at home and hopefully we can help ya out and you can help us out. Heck, maybe someday we'll all begin to get used to America!

thanks for the concern hun, america is a very strange place, and sadly lacking most in the food, and manners department, but there are some polite, friendly people here. my opinion of america at the moment,  is probably slightly skewered in the wrong direction due to home sickness.

I've noticed that most born americans seem just as out of place and uncomfortable as i do. everybody seems to be grouped into these little color coded circles of friendship, and everybody seems to be paranoid about somebody shooting and killing them if there at all out of the ordinary here. but hey maybe its just my area.

here's hoping that other americans, take people like yourself for example and learn to take life a bit easier, and treat there fellow person with kindness and love, rather than general dislike, and slight wariness.


Posted on: July 23, 2008, 10:17:58 PM

As for your mom thinking you were a girl... I kinda WISH my Mom had done that D":

ya if only that was the only affect of her mental break downs, I'd have made her have them more often. sadly it was only one of her delusions and only lasted a week, before getting back on meds. After her seventh breakdown she no longer remembered who i was most of the time.

But enough about that depressing stuff, I'm glad there are other Otaku, on here. What sort of anime/manga are you into if you don't mind me asking?

[Haru]

Aww... I'm sorry. Thats terrible. *hug*

As for stuff I watch and read when I can...
.Hack Sign, Paranoia Agent, Dragonball Z, Gundam Wing, Black Heaven, Noein, Trigun, Serial Experiments Lain, Avatar, FullMetal Alchemist, Invader Zim, Metalocalypse, Venture Bros., X-files, Heroes, FLCL, etc

FLCL, Q ko chan, Stone, Ragnarok, X-day, some of ultimate X-men. Etc etc etc.

If you have a deviantart, mine is deviousxen.deviantart.com

and my website is http://caffeinaliens.com

Aim is Xensnocturne

etc etc etc.

I think that your profile pict looks like the artist who did Q ko and FLCL mangas. Cool.

Sadly I don't use Deviantart or AIM, but I have an MSN (haru_niisan@hotmail.com) if you want to add me or e-mail me feel free.

you have good taste, its rare to find people who like Lain, and paranoia agent. Lain is one of my favorite series by my all time favorite artist, yo->-bleeped-<-oshi ABe, I love all of his work.

and yes the style is similar to Ueda hajime, (maker of FLCL, and Q-ko chan) her and takahito harada (maker of disgaea and others) are the people who have most effected my cutesy drawing style. I'll have to upload one of my normal pictures next time. my normal style is allot more detailed and realistic, its more influenced by ABe, and Range Murata.