Changing the last name

[Terra]

What advantage is there to changing the last name during the name change process? I heard that it is better for younger transitioners then older ones. Personally I can't think of any reason doing it would help, short of breaking off from your past.

[Northern Jane]

What advantage is there to changing the last name during the name change process? I heard that it is better for younger transitioners then older ones. Personally I can't think of any reason doing it would help, short of breaking off from your past.

That's exactly it. I wish I had changed mine (34 years ago). Once my family name outted me and a couple of times attracted suspicion. Since I was "disowned" anyway, I should have changed it.

[Buffy]

I changed all my names, including my surname.

Why?

Well first and foremost to sever my link with the family name and to then offer some protection to my Children.

I also changed my surname in an attempt to make myself less traceable.

Buffy

[Sarah Louise]

Truthfully, I just never thought about it.

I never considered my last name a plus or a minus.  It was my first and middle name that disgusted me and had to be shed.

Looking back, there would be and are many reasons to change the last name also.  You are making a fresh start that way.

Sarah L.

[Yochanan]

For a long time I planned to change my name to "Emonds" whether I transitioned or not, but now that I've met my other mom, I realized how important me keeping her name is to her. It's a good name, unique, so I'll keep it. I'll be JAS instead of JAE.

[JennMW]

I had been going by a different last name for the last three years. I really liked (and stil do) the flow of it. It was hard to tell people I knew who only knew me by my "new" last name about the name change. I just laughingly said I was going back to my maiden name!

BUT, when the time came to finally change my name legally a couple of months ago, I kept my original last name to maintain the link to my mother and my daughter who are and have both been there for me.

It was bad enough that they "lost" a son and father but to not even have a common name for them to cling to was too much for me to bear. Yes they did gain a daughter and a (I've told her that I'll always be her daddy).

I never did discuss it with them as I did not want to even have it be a question in their minds.

Without those links, yes I would have changed it but that is a SMALL sacrifice on my part in return for everything I have gained by transitioning.

Jennifer

[Kate]

What advantage is there to changing the last name during the name change process? I heard that it is better for younger transitioners then older ones. Personally I can't think of any reason doing it would help, short of breaking off from your past.

I considered it at first, but quite a few people got annoyed with me, saying it looked like I was ashamed of who I was, and was trying to "run away" or hide.

So I left it.

Still, now that the dust has settled, if my marriage fails and I actually save up some money again someday... I'll probably change it. Aside from my parents, I have zero contact with anyone from family. And there's something appealing about "finishing this" and *totally* defining who I am, on my terms. I've had a fictitious last name for many years which feels much more "me" than the legal one.

~Kate~

[Mnemosyne]

I would never, ever change my family name.

[sneakersjay]

I changed my last name when I got married but it never felt right.  I went back to my birth surname after my divorce.  I will be keeping that name.

I am proud of my family, love my family, and have built my life with my birth surname.  I like it, so I'm keeping it.

Some days I envy you guys and girls who change all 3 names to something totally unrelated to your birth names.  But for me, keeping my initials and a name similar to my birth name is important to me.  Maybe I'm just not as wild and crazy as I thought!  LOL

Jay

[Purple Pimp]

It depends on how rare your last name is and whether you want to be in control of people finding out about you.  I prefer to out myself to people on my terms, so I changed the name.

Lia

[Janet_Girl]

I am changing all three.  My original last name out of respect for my parents, who are both gone now, and out of respect for my ex.  I don't think that she is going to change her name after the divorce.

And lastly for me, as a total break from being male.  And then I can sue Jennifer Lopez for stealing my initials, J LO.  >

Janet

[Aiden]

I haven't changed my name yet, just picked one for most part.

Because heritage is important to me, and my last name comes from a part of my heritage I am proud of, I will most likely keep my last name.  I also wanted to try to keep my initials if possible, makes it easier to me, plus I kinda love having the Initials of a Security system (ADT)  lol

[Kate]

It's an odd thing...

I kinda associate my birth surname with the "male" line of my family, so between that and being female now (almost)... and the fact that I'll never have a biological child to carry the genes on... and if I ever did get remarried, I'd lose the name anyway... it already feels like I've abandoned the name. Like I've broken my "obligations" to it, and IT has disowned ME.

Anyone else feel that way?

~Kate~

[Sarah Louise]

You do bring up an interesting question Kate, most women do change their last name when they get married.  As a girl keeping my old name really isn't that important (this branch of my family name will die out anyway, there are no male children).

I wonder if FtM's have a different opinion on this.  Males normally keep their family name?

Very interesting question.

Sarah L.

[noxdraconis]

You do bring up an interesting question Kate, most women do change their last name when they get married.  As a girl keeping my old name really isn't that important (this branch of my family name will die out anyway, there are no male children).

I wonder if FtM's have a different opinion on this.  Males normally keep their family name?

Very interesting question.

Sarah L.

Not keeping mine  .  I really wish to do so, but I must settle with a clever play on my original.  My family (total count of 4 in the US) is most likely the only people to have this last name in my entire state, so I shall change my last name when I do my second name change.  If I still lived in Greece, I would not have this trouble since my name would not be so out of place, but I do not plan on going back for any other reason than vacationing and visiting family.  Decisions, decisions.

[mickie88]

i'm keeping mine as i have given ALL my children wifey's maiden name to start with, even new people at work don't associate them with me, even if they call me daddy. some people are just oblivious, which is fine with me. i'm not explaining anything i don't have too to anyone.


Warrior Princess Mickie

[April221]

I changed my last name for practical reasons. First, it didn't SOUND very nice with my name, April, and second, which was even more important, was that it was a bit long. By shortening it, it became easier to use in business and social matters.

If I were to make an appointment over the phone, for example, whenever I'd give my name, everyone could spell April, but the last name sometimes needed to be spelled severall times

It was just more convenient to shorten it.

[Aiden]

Interestingly My last name actually means Son of Thomas

[Ms Bev]

To some peeps it's reeeeely important.  They need that distance, especially if they have no family support.  Others chug along with what they got.  Me....I kept my whole name, but go by my given middle name, Beverly.   So, now, hmmmmmm.......when my spouse/partner and I introduce ourselves, it seems strange to them, that partners would have the same last name.  I've told some, that Marcy had her last name legally changed to mine;  "wasn't that nice of her?"

All true.  When we were married as male and female, she DID have her last name legally changed to mine.
I love it!  The situation, I mean.
I always did prefer skating the edge.

Pick your new name, if that's what you want, and enjoy your new life!


Bev

Posted on: July 30, 2008, 10:52:12 AM

Interestingly My last name actually means Son of Thomas

My last name in old Irish means, "don't bug me, or I'll rot yer taters and steal yer woman" (my interpretation.  Of course, I don't speak gaelic much.....)

Bev

[Aiden]

Interestingly some of the name sites have found say that my Last name is just English name, though it exists in Scotland, Ireland, and Wales as well