I got fed up with waiting for the LGBT center to forward me that list of therapists, so I went ahead and called the guy that they said was a specialist in FTM issues. He called back within ninety minutes, and we had a good talk over the phone. He seems very cool. I was pretty nervous because my previous therapy experience was so negative, but this guy put me relatively at ease quite quickly.
I hope it's a harbinger of good things to come because my first appointment is next Wednesday. I am still very nervous and will doubtless become more nervous as the date approaches, but I'm pretty tough. I mean, if I survived the last couple of decades, I can survive a fifty-minute session. Right?
I don't suppose I'll be able to do anything but obsess for the next week...but at least I've taken the first step toward a life in which I can stop obsessing and start living. And maybe get back to work on my dissertation? Christ, I would love to get that monkey off my back, but so far I've really bollocksed up my "dissertation summer." If I'd had my druthers, I would have had that puppy in the can before I embarked on the GID journey...but I guess life had other plans. Well, I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm gonna go out and slay me some dragons. I can do it, man.
