I got fed up with waiting for the LGBT center to forward me that list of therapists, so I went ahead and called the guy that they said was a specialist in FTM issues. He called back within ninety minutes, and we had a good talk over the phone. He seems very cool. I was pretty nervous because my previous therapy experience was so negative, but this guy put me relatively at ease quite quickly.

I hope it's a harbinger of good things to come because my first appointment is next Wednesday. I am still very nervous and will doubtless become more nervous as the date approaches, but I'm pretty tough. I mean, if I survived the last couple of decades, I can survive a fifty-minute session. Right?

I don't suppose I'll be able to do anything but obsess for the next week...but at least I've taken the first step toward a life in which I can stop obsessing and start living. And maybe get back to work on my dissertation? Christ, I would love to get that monkey off my back, but so far I've really bollocksed up my "dissertation summer." If I'd had my druthers, I would have had that puppy in the can before I embarked on the GID journey...but I guess life had other plans. Well, I'm going to make the best of it.

I'm gonna go out and slay me some dragons. I can do it, man.

Congrats, dude.

The money I spent on gender therapists that first month was invaluable (long story but in one month I had 3 therapists, none covered by insurance.  OUCH!)

But with each session I dropped tons of baggage and started feeling very comfortable in my own skin for the first time ever.

You'll be fine.  Your therapist isn't judging you.  They really just want to help you.

Jay