Bathroom/shower issues at college

[gravitysrainbow]

I live on a girls' hall, coed building. Although we haven't had our building meeting yet, so I haven't gauged how well I pass, the girls seem willing to believe I'm a bioguy. This makes me not want to use the girls' bathroom/shower, for obvious reasons. I'm thinking about going to the director of housing, who is very nice, and asking if she can give me access to the guys' half of the building (you swipe your ID to get access to places, and a female ID won't let you into guys' dorms). Do you guys think this is a good plan, or have any suggestions, either of another way, or how best to approach the Housing Director? There's a guys' bathroom in the building lobby, btw, but 1) that doesn't solve my shower problem and 2) a couple of the 24 hr. Desk clerks know me as female. Right now I use the bathroom during the day in class buildings, but that's only before about 7. Help, please.

[Princess_Jasmine]

Hmm if you pass really well then just tell them you lost your pass and if they can print you out a new one? Then maybe they will just give you a male pass since thats obviously who you are! Or you can just tell them the pass they just gave you has an error because you are supposed to have a male one. Otherwise just talk to the director about it if all else fails.

[Elwood]

In my personal experience, showering with the boys would be worse for me. They'd see my breasts.

As for colleges changing IDs; mine refused to. They said I have to have LEGAL proof of a name change. At my school, gender is irrelevant (thank God) but I'm sure if it was on the ID, they'd want legal proof of that change as well. I'm registered with the school as "gender unspecified" and I like it that way for now. Then no one can call me a "liar" because of my legal papers. :/

[gravitysrainbow]

I'd shower and then dress in the stall, maybe get a binder that's easier to put on...I don't really worry about using guys' showers and bathrooms. I worry more about girls seeing me in their bathroom at 3 in the morning trying to avoid them, and thinking I'm some kind of perv. As for the IDs, I have a very female name. I already had to get a new one, and the lady at the ID desk became one of the first people at college to call me 'she' after I told her my name.

[Janet_Girl]

Very interesting situation.  If you are comfortable in the guys, work that angle.  But if you were to come out to the girls in your dorm, then that would solve the problem, but coming out is up to you.

Best of luck, Hon.

Janet

[Krisstina]

I didn't do college as a transsexual female but I was the first transsexual female to be housed with females in a (well program) in San Jose CA. That was in my wilder days!!!! > I know nothing about that now. Anyway we had one shower for like 15 girls and it had a closed door and that worked fine for me.

I also transitioned as a QA (Quality Supervisor) in Monterey Ca were they made hot melt machines. From both experiences I found being very diplomatic  and asking for help rather than demanding help worked so well for me.

I would say it can not hurt to ask and if they say no well deal with it you wont be in college for ever.

One way to get someone on your side that is in a position to help you is to just come out to them first, develope that re pore then askfor help sometime later. I know that sounds sketchy but we have to put all the odds in our favor that we can to be succesful.


I wish you all the good that can come your way you sound delightful


Kristina

[Elwood]

I'd shower and then dress in the stall, maybe get a binder that's easier to put on...I don't really worry about using guys' showers and bathrooms. I worry more about girls seeing me in their bathroom at 3 in the morning trying to avoid them, and thinking I'm some kind of perv. As for the IDs, I have a very female name. I already had to get a new one, and the lady at the ID desk became one of the first people at college to call me 'she' after I told her my name.

I'm not "scared" of showering with the boys. The problem is that when boys see a naked girl, something chemically happens in their brain. Something that will ruin my kinship with my brothers forever.

[gravitysrainbow]

I know you're not scared, Dan...the thought never crossed my mind. I'm just saying that I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be a chance of them seeing my body, as long as I take a lot of precautions. I'd probably still shower at odd times, and stuff like that. Since it's not a communal shower or anything, I think it'd be the best way to stay stealth, which is definitely important.

[Elwood]

Oh. Well, the chances of them seeing my body would be pretty high, since the showers here like, hardly have stalls. They'd at least see my very feminine ass and that I'm not hung like a horse.

I fear for my LIFE if I'm going to take swimming at the college, lol. I wonder if there are water proof packy restraints that I could wear in the pool. Lmao... But seriously. I don't know how to swim, and I'm going to learn. I'm determined to learn. Plus, swimmers are hot. Tight muscles. They aren't buff, they're fit looking.

Sorry, got a little off topic.

[JonasCarminis]

oh man... yes... i was a swimmer.  skinny... fit... i was HOT.  then i got fat.  haha

[Andrew]

Have you asked your college to move you to the male half of the building? You should tell them that you're trans, then ask -- no, DEMAND -- that they treat you like a guy. I did, and my college changed all my ID stuff, put me in male accomodations, etc.

Let me tell you about bath/shower issues. Colleges will usually do everything they can to keep you from feeling uncomfortable. During my first couple of years of college, I used the guys' public bathrooms/showers. It got a little uncomfortable because I didn't like guys walking in and out while I was showering behind a thin curtain. It got so that I was showering in the middle of the night so I'd avoid this problem. Finally, I wised up and asked the housing director if I could get a private bathroom. Voila! He put me in the best dorm on campus in which most of the rooms have private baths (fancy!) and I'm going to be living in it this year. I'm flying back to MA in a couple of days and I can't wait to get to my new dorm.

You gotta be assertive!