Coming Out EXperience

[Jack Daniels]

 I just turned eighteen on the 7th of August and yesterday I told my parents and they filped. My dad insisted it had something to do with sexuality even though it has nothing to do with it. He got more angry than my mother but they were both heated and I kept thinking he was going to hit me since in the past he has thrown a chair, trashcan, and a picture(with glass) at me. Not to mention choke me so I kept trying to keep my distance, He kept calling me a "->-bleeped-<-got" and then started callin me "deranged." I asked him if we would of had this same conversation if I was gay and he said yes. He feels strong hatred for both, even though I m not exactly gay, he kept insisting. I might not be able to start college soon because I might be homeless soon since he told me to leave. I really dont know what to do and there really is no way in hell Im about to change a conversative's fundamentalist's mind. I dont know what to do....

[Scotty72]

Got any siblings or good friends that wouldn't mind letting you bunk up with them for a while?  Sometimes parents just need time to cool their jets.  My parents flipped when I told them I was gay, and so I just chilled in my room for about 3 days straight, and eventually it blew over, they deny it up and down but at least they didn't kill me, (They might just strangle me if I tell them I'm trans though, so I'm not holding my breath on that one).  Your dad sounds like mine, and I'd vote to get out for a while.  Let everyone take a deep breath before you go back.

[Jack Daniels]

THanks for the advice i could go to the friends house see I was goin to go to my good friend Jack Daniels but that probably wont lead to nothing positive. And ill try to let my dad cool since last time I got in a fight with him he kicked my ass.

[trapthavok]

That was quite brave of you but now you've got to think!! I recommend what scotty said, stay with someone in the meantime, see if it blows over. If any relatives will take you in, great. If not, use your internet time to look up associations that aid GLBT youth. I heard there's one here in SoFL that helps homeless GLBT youth and puts them up when they get kicked out by their parents. Maybe there's something like that where you live? And it's always great to get involved in the GLBT community, support groups, or anything if you have one. I'm sure someone there would be glad to help you out too!

Just don't start a fight with your dad! He sounds less open minded than mine, and that's scary. And no JD won't help, it will just hurt. I hope you have scholarships or things like that for college and you weren't depending solely on your parents? It's not the end of the world buddy, and we'll all be here to help and support you 

[Jack Daniels]

Hopefully since school starts on the 21st of August doesnt give me much time but Im tryin to stay positive and hopefully there will be GLBT groups in TExas but Im pretty sure there will be. My mom is startin to cool but my dad is still mad but so far Im not homeless yet. Hes a complete homophob yet my mom had a gay brother. She understands if I were gay but Im not exactly. She cant get past the transgender part. Man still i apperciate the advice cause when a person really has NO ONE and I mean no one to talk to it gets really depressing(cant even talk to "friends"). But,if All else fails I can always go to downtown Dallas(in homelessness) and play the guitar.
MUsic and a guitar will be what i take if forced to leave.

[Scotty72]

At least your mom is kinda on your side.  A little is better than nothing at all.  Lol, and no, JD wont help anything.  And Totally back Havok's idea of looking for GLBT community thats close by and willing to help.  I understand they're pretty nonexistant in some area's, but there's always something out there worth checking out.

Rock on Guitarist! 

[Jack Daniels]

MAn, you guys give me positive outlook and even if Im homeless Ill be positive since the guitar playin will hopefully make me some money. Im really glad to have come to this webste.

And no more Jack Daniels even though its in my name...

[J.T.]

you've gotta do what is best for your safety and sanity...

[Scotty72]

Not sure what the laws for this kind of thing are, but I think you're old enough to do Bar gigs right?  Now THAT would be cool!

[trapthavok]

...

I still say seek out help before you go on the streets, hoping someone will drop money into your guitar case Don't throw away the rest of your life over this man...

[Elwood]

Hmm. My experience was somewhat the same, minus the yelling/assault. My mom kept asking me if I was a lesbian. But I'm not... I like men primarily, so I'm a flaming ->-bleeped-<-got. Though I sometimes think I might be bi. The fact is, my gender identity is not fueled by my sexuality. In fact, I feel it is quite the opposite. The more I let myself be male, the more I like girls.

[liv]

It takes alot of courage to do as you have. You can look at it this way though, the hardest part is over.

[Jack Daniels]

I hate it when people assume I want to be a man because of my sexuality, since I like either sex but I will NEVER have sex as a female. I thnk its gross. 

Anyways, they kicked me out of the house and my dad actually dragged me out on/to the street, with my back scraped against the concrete with people looking, It happened after we kind of got in another fight and I lost again(but I always lose).They took my car, some guitars(had 6 but only got to take one even though i paid for ALL of them) and my computer(I paid for that too), but that wasnt even the worse part. HE ACTALLY KICKED MY LABTOP!!!( A 800$ gift for graduation from my grandfather). The labtop screen wont come on anymore so I plan to get it fixed somehow. MAn, honestly, he took everything but my dignity. And after stayin in  hotel room, now Im stayin at a friends house so hopefully everything is good and maybe I can get a job playin gigs! It beats playin on the streets and hoping people will drop a dime or two.

[Elwood]

You're 18 years old. You can report him for assault and for theft. They stole your stuff.

Part of me wishes my parents kicked me out. Maybe then my transition would be moving faster... -_-;; Not that I'm saying there's anything good about your situation.

[trapthavok]

Sucks that he threw you out but I'm glad you're at a friends house instead of standing on a corner waiting for those dimes to come in. I can honestly say, I would have really been worried had you disappeared bro, cause that's what I would've assumed happened.

Always have a back up plan though just in case. Can't tell you how many of my dreams have failed.

[Jack Daniels]

This has been one hell of an experence but its amazin how far support can get you. But they said theyll pay for the labtop and give my car bak and pay for school! Im still in shock but damn, they did a 180, Im still not gonna live there but its cool, and I have a free consultation with a breast removal doctor(plastic surgeon) so Im in good mood. But I apperciate everyone support, truly glad such a great website exists.

[Hazard "AJ"]

atleast u were brave enough to tell them.. I told my mum october last year.... and she was ok with it my mum told my older sister and my little sister whos 12 figgered it out and shes a little truper and its cool with it.. One of my nephuws nows his 9 he over hard my sister talk about it... and told him that i felt i was in the wrong body and so on... I have 2 brothers who dont now.. Well one i now dont now for sure. and my real father.... WOW i guess i will have the same prob as u if i told him... My real dad will flip. But i dont get along with him anyways and dont see him as my dad... he never has a part of my life since i was 12 so its nothing to do with him...

I wish u the best of luck tho. im sure there learn that this is how u fill... Fathers are all the same. you either a boy or girl and straight. blah blah.. im sure ur mother is ok with it but ur father fills like its a sin so on so on.. if he loves u im sure he learn thats what u want.

[Jack Daniels]

Hazard, If you see him as not important, you probably shouldnt even waste your time, UNless, you wnt to make him mad on purpose, because he'll probably blame himself like alot of parents. Its great your mom is cool, more people should be cool about it