This two genders thing sucks...
I just went back to school this week and I'm only Nate with my friends. My new binders still haven't come in yet, nor has my package, and it really bugs me seeing that slight curve in my shirts and I could probably deal with it better if I could forget that people aren't seeing me as a guy.
I got "he" and "sir" a couple of times this week because I guess my shirts are baggy enough that you really have to be looking to see my boobs, but today when I was standing in line for food, the lady behind the counter said to the other one "he ordered a veggie pizza" and the other lady was like "...that's not a he, that's a she" and four of them started this whole conversation about how they could tell I was a "girl" especially because black guys usually don't have long straight hair. By long I mean, my hair is maybe 3 inches off my head. It was really rude of them, especially discussing it as though I weren't standing right there waiting for my food. It was seriously depressing, it was like I was just beginning to get confidence in myself and wondering why I really hadn't decided to go as Nate this semester then wham people keep reminding me how much of a "girl" my appearance is no matter how masculine my clothes or my walk.
Even today in one of my classes, one that met for the first time ever, there were these pricks in the corner who laughed when the prof called my name and I corrected him with the "andro" name I've decided to use this semester (Tai) until I can be Nate full time. It was only when my name was called did they realize "oh, that's a 'girl'."
It sucks that everyone sees something as "boy," or "girl" in my case just because of the parts on the outside...
