Help!

[Lee]

Okay. This has been a major stressor for me this week.

I finally succeeded getting a job with one of the top electrical contractors in the state that I had been pretty much "stalking" for the past year or so.

Worried about when/how to come out to them.

Will be starting T in 1 to 2 months. Already feeling uncomfortable on the job due to the fact of being read as male by new co-workers and foremen as long as I do not talk. When introduced by my birthname, or referred to as 'she', I get a double-take.

The company is rather large and I work out of their main office/warehouse, so while there are a ton of employees I'm really scared about coming out to my current foreman and other related guys that I will be working around for the next six months and longer.

I do not want to get a lay-off notice, etc. Regardless of working in California for a more progressive contractor than what I am used to, it's still a worry being an at-will employee. This is my career. I want to be working with this company until retirement!

Any advice?

Has anyone came out and transitioned fully with an employer? Please share your experiences.

[GQjoey]

Just saying you're in California - I would say you're a lot luckier than most. I'm out to the owner, store manager, and a few close employees at work. And I'm pretty sure word has spread with the rest of my co-workers, but we're all 18-30 so I'm lucky to have a big group of open-minded individuals. Even tho's whom I ASSUME "know" I'm f2m, rather than a bio male, really couldn't care less, and have always had nothing but respect for me.
I think if you plan on working for this company til retirement, like you said, you'd be better off just coming out, slowly. You're going to go through changes, that will be obvious. I say bite the bullet, and come out to those whom you work closest to.

Posted on: August 27, 2008, 11:31:08 PMAnd congrats on getting that job!

[Mister]

I wouldn't say anything until you have to (i.e. things start changing).  Let them develop a relationship with you, appreciate your skill set, see that you're a good employee, etc before you out yourself.

[Jay]

Have you actually started the job? Because if you haven't you could speak to your boss and tell them your situation and see what happens?

Oh yeah congrats buddy!

[Dennis]

I wouldn't say anything until you have to (i.e. things start changing).  Let them develop a relationship with you, appreciate your skill set, see that you're a good employee, etc before you out yourself.

I agree with Mister. If you do have to avail yourself of any of the laws for your protection, it's a lot easier when you've got a track record of good employment and perhaps a good performance review.

Dennis

[Elwood]

Hmmm. I figure when I apply for a job I will ask them right away if they are queer/transfriendly. If they are willing to answer "yes" to that question, I will explain to them why they have to call me Dan. If they make no guarantee, then I'll just ask them to call me "Danny" or something because some people might think it's short for "Danielle." I don't know. But if I can come out, I will as soon as possible...

Mind you, I want to work at Walgreens. 

[ConfusedMichelle]

Starbucks is actually like enthusiastic about transgenders/gays/lesbians.  They LOVE diversity and embrace it.  You could try there?

[Lee]

I wouldn't say anything until you have to (i.e. things start changing).  Let them develop a relationship with you, appreciate your skill set, see that you're a good employee, etc before you out yourself.

I agree with Mister. If you do have to avail yourself of any of the laws for your protection, it's a lot easier when you've got a track record of good employment and perhaps a good performance review.

Dennis

Yeah, I decided at work today to just let things be in regards to saying anything.

Just gonna let it hang

[tekla]

I agree with Dennis.  A good work history helps a lot.  And a primo job with a major electrical contractor in Cali is not Starbucks.  Union electrical workers here in SF make $35 an hour, with awesome bennies. 

Its a choice, its a good life, much better than Starbucks, heck, you could go on to have your own contracting biz in time, but sometimes you have to stifle parts of yourself at work.  Only you know what is more important, and how to balance that.

[Lee]

Hmmm. I figure when I apply for a job I will ask them right away if they are queer/transfriendly. If they are willing to answer "yes" to that question, I will explain to them why they have to call me Dan. If they make no guarantee, then I'll just ask them to call me "Danny" or something because some people might think it's short for "Danielle." I don't know. But if I can come out, I will as soon as possible...

Mind you, I want to work at Walgreens. 

Have you had success with asking employers that? Such as getting hired? I was/have been told never to bring up those type questions in interviews. But heck, times are a changin' (maybe?)

And yeah, coffee shops in general are usually into being "diverse."