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Does life get too "ordinary" after GRS?

Started by Blanche, August 28, 2008, 09:04:32 AM

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pennyjane

my experience has been alot like nichole described.  it was such a fireworks experience getting there that when it happened...well...kind of lost for a bit.  once you've climbed the highest mountain you've ever seen it can seem a little disconcerting to not have that challenge anymore.

good thing is....that old dessonance does fade away and you get adjusted to your new reality and that's when that "it's what you make of it" thing kicks in.  from transition to grs was easily the most exciting and wonderful time of my life...kind of like it was all of my life crammed into a few short years.  i'll always remember that fondly, probably like so many people recall their childhood.  but..you grow up...you mature and you move on.  enjoy the peace.
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Kim6

My life was like being dead before transition... just waiting to die.  During transition life was amazing.  It had some tremendous ups and downs which was really different from the flat-line life I had previously.  Now that I have SRS behind me and cannot afford FFS or BAS I am just a weird guy that no one accepts, a weird guy with a vagina that nobody would touch with a ten foot pole.  Life sucks hard but if life before transition was a 1 then life after transition has to at least be a 1.25 and I suppose that is a little better, not much and I don't regret transition but money makes everything better as does education and then there is me.

Posted on: November 02, 2008, 03:38:32 am
1.25 out of a possible 10
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postoplesbian

Myself i had to get away from the online and real life trans community. That took me about 3 to 4 yrs and lots of trans activism and then i left the TS world and started living life and the last two yrs i have been involved with the Obama campaign and ran as a delegate and now i live with the amish but the obama campaign is done so i poked my head back in here. I do lurk every so often online just to remember who it was after mine dec 8th 1998 ..

Many of us now do things online and for me i started online to learn about transitioning so its my online beginning which makes it maybe harder for me than another who got online for other reasons they can go back to that stuff just now being finished.

PS: Be safe though we don't need any more statistics.. Myself i happen to love me and so i love others like me which has left me in a kinda no dating rut for the past 10 yrs but hey i am free of STDs and haven't suffered a broken heart and my horse Buddy loves me :)

hugs Danielle

Posted on: November 12, 2008, 11:21:49 am
If you have nothing to do and are near one of these cities please volunteer here this season = http://www.cityteam.org/
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tinkerbell

Quote from: postoplesbian on November 12, 2008, 05:32:09 PM
Myself i had to get away from the online and real life trans community.

Oh, that's coming faster than the speed of light for some people.  I can feel it, I can really feel it! and I quite agree with you! Welcome to Susan's BTW! :)

tink :icon_chick:
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Fer

My life's been ordinary even before GRS :laugh: but for me the ultimate achievement is to figure out my unique and individual purpose in life, to pursue it, and to make significant progress towards reaching it.
The laws of God, the laws of man, He may keep that will and can; Not I. Let God and man decree Laws for themselves and not for me; And if my ways are not as theirs Let them mind their own affairs. - A. E. Housman
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tinkerbell

What I have noticed is that after SRS, some of us don't post that much (you know who you are ;)  ;D) but rather enjoy the view from afar so to speak.  Heck I don't even know how on earth I have over 10,000 posts!   :P

tink :icon_chick:
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vanna

Personally i'm looking forward to life becoming very ordinary it is what you make of it after all. But the roller coaster can be a bit tiresome at times and i think most of us would welcome some normalcy when little has previously existed.
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cindybc

#27
For me me everyday is like a new adventure and a new discovery looking at the world through different eyes. Well it's been four years since SRS and still for me it's like exploring a new world. Meeting new people, living in the female role 24/7 darn typo's, at work and my social life. If that's ordinary well I am certainly not going to complain

Again I have mostly come back here in the hopes of sharing my experiences and possibly help someones accomplish their transition somewhat easier.

Cindy   
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Vexing

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Steph

QuoteWhat I have noticed is that after SRS, some of us don't post that much (you know who you are   ) but rather enjoy the view from afar so to speak.  Heck I don't even know how on earth I have over 10,000 posts!   

tink




Aaaaaaaaaaah shut up Tink :) Ha ha.

I think that my life is now finally normal, not too normal, just normal enough  :-\

I think my life is typical of most women out there.  I date, far too much, looking for mister right in all the wrong places LOL, the trials and tribulations of work, my debts, my health, my weight, my looks, my cloths, my friends, my family.  Yep my life is pretty normal, it sometimes sucks, and it sometimes it doesn't; but then it's the only life that I have and normal or not I intend to live it.

Steph
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Valentina

Quote from: Leslie on September 14, 2008, 05:30:31 AM
I want to be complete.  I want to live a normal female life without the burden of looking down and realising I have something extra natal females don't have.  I don't want to explain to anybody, the law, doctors, why I don't have a vagina. I don't want to be stopped, searched at some foreign airport & get questioned endlessly because my anatomical sex doesn't match my gender on my passport.  I want to be sexually comfortable in my own skin when I make love with my mate.  I want to go to the beach, wear a thong & not worry about whether things show or don't show.  Is that "ordinary"?

Those were my feelings when I was pre-operational & struggling with my body.  Life goes on after GRS though & like other peeps have said you make the best of it however you can.  Being an ordinary woman, looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a whole woman in body & spirit brings happy tears to my eyes.  I know what you mean. You'll get there too. :)
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Northern Jane

Life became very "ordinary" after SRS/transition and "ordinary" in the 1970's and my mid-20's was a heck of a lot of fun. It was the time of "Peace, Love & Rock & Roll" and young-womanhood wasn't "ordinary" as my mother would have defined it  ;D

But, after 'casting a mountain into the sea' it wasn't long before there were other windmills to tilt at. One thing my past taught me was stubbornness and how to fight so discrimination took a hell of a beating whenever I came up against it. LOL!

After 3 decades, I don't choose to fight much anymore - leave that to the younger girls. I am content to TRY to be ordinary though my friends tell me I don't do a very good job of it  ;D
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cindybc

"Hee, hee, hee, what's ordinary?
Well I passed as a girl during the flower children days but as much as I wanted to be a girl and even had a boyfriend for the short time I lived in a commune in good old New York city the dream would not be realised for some more years to come. Didn't know nothin about transssexuality and that it was possible to transition to the preferred sex. Those were truly the good years though VW micro-buses all painted over with flowers ribbons and hearts that I painted myself on my boy friends VW micro-bus while he was out working.   ;D

Cindy
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Rachael

Quote from: Tink on January 04, 2009, 05:05:21 PM
What I have noticed is that after SRS, some of us don't post that much (you know who you are ;)  ;D) but rather enjoy the view from afar so to speak.  Heck I don't even know how on earth I have over 10,000 posts!   :P

tink :icon_chick:
You're like me tink... too many opinions and not enough fingers to type ;)

Personally, and yeah, im actually quite suprised this has been said so many times.... my life started when i transitioned, it was limbo before... i have goals and aims that i never dreamed of...

As for post srs... well, srs is the 'end' of transition. Its like getting out of jail id imagine... your life till then has been regimented, you've had things to do, a date of 'release' after that you get lost a little... well some do.. Its just natural. What you have to think now. is 'who am i?' because you cant know that during transition. You wont know who you are till you die... all you can do is find things, go out, try things, work your way to who you are and live a full productive life.
Btw, am i the only one seeing you talk about srs in the past tense, when your ticker clock puts it in the future?
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soldierjane

Quote from: Blanche on August 28, 2008, 09:04:32 AM
I've been feeling like life is boring, and unexciting. I've found the things that used to entertain me no longer appeal to me. I find myself constantly wondering about different circumstances and situations that I feel I have no control over.  Don't misunderstand me, I'm happy, quite happy to have a body that I can call mine at last but it'd seem as if I didn't have any goals as before.  Is life this mundane after GRS or does it normalise with time?

There is such a thing as ennui and it has nothing to do with surgical status. You may want to see it in those terms, write down what you feel and how to deal with it. Baudelaire did, and he came up with Les Fleurs du Mal.
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tinkerbell

Quote from: Starbuck on January 07, 2009, 06:53:59 AM
Quote from: Tink on January 04, 2009, 05:05:21 PM
What I have noticed is that after SRS, some of us don't post that much (you know who you are ;)  ;D) but rather enjoy the view from afar so to speak.  Heck I don't even know how on earth I have over 10,000 posts!   :P

tink :icon_chick:
You're like me tink... too many opinions and not enough fingers to type ;)

Personally, and yeah, im actually quite suprised this has been said so many times.... my life started when i transitioned, it was limbo before... i have goals and aims that i never dreamed of...

As for post srs... well, srs is the 'end' of transition. Its like getting out of jail id imagine... your life till then has been regimented, you've had things to do, a date of 'release' after that you get lost a little... well some do.. Its just natural. What you have to think now. is 'who am i?' because you cant know that during transition. You wont know who you are till you die... all you can do is find things, go out, try things, work your way to who you are and live a full productive life.
Btw, am i the only one seeing you talk about srs in the past tense, when your ticker clock puts it in the future?

What ticker sweetie?  Are you talking to me or Blanche, Rachael?  Blanche's ticker IS in the past, and as far as my own SRS is concerned, tomorrow (January the 8th) will be two years since I have had it. :)


Quote from: Starbuck on January 07, 2009, 06:53:59 AM
srs is the 'end' of transition. Its like getting out of jail id imagine...

For me it was not only the end of transition but the culmination of so many years of pain.  Jail?  I think what you mean is coffin

tink :icon_chick:
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cindybc

#36
More like being stuck in a dungeon unable to see the daylight. As for myself after surgery it was like being released from the confines of that dungeon after having been incarcerated within it's bowels for 58 years.

I have never felt depressed nor sad and lonely for long since then. It is like being reborn and living life over again, in the correct body.

QuoteThose were my feelings when I was pre-operational & struggling with my body.  Life goes on after GRS though & like other peeps have said you make the best of it however you can.  Being an ordinary woman, looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a whole woman in body & spirit brings happy tears to my eyes.  I know what you mean. You'll get there too. :)

Cindy
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lit-chick

I'm reading all of your posts with great interest.  Exactly six months from today, I'm scheduled for GRS with Dr. Marci Bowers.   

The funny thing is that I was trying to make this time in my life "normal."  That is to say, I wanted to make as few changes as possible and to just ride out the last year before my surgery.  But I got a new job, a creative project I never could've imagined has found me, and I'm about to take a class that might be a first step toward another degree I might pursue.

So, I've come to the conclusion that I have no idea of what "normal" is, and probably never will.  I hope that doesn't change after the surgery.

In case you're interested, I'm chronicling the year leading up to my surgery on a blog I began six months ago.  If you want to see it, look here:  http://transwomantimes.blogspot.com/


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cindybc

Well hon SRS is probably the most liberating experiences you can have in one life time. For me the surgery was no more then just a few days of, not really anything that can be described as pain, I was walking about the next day after the surgery.

I only just experienced mostly some discomfort in trying to find as comfortable way to sit for the first four days. But after the fourth day at the recovery house they removed the packing and the catheter, I was ready to dance a jig. I hated those donut cushions. I used them for about two weeks and chucked it in the corner and sat on a regular cushion.

All the sensations, feelings and everything down there was active after four weeks, including orgasms.

I did feel a bit of the gloomies for a time until my beloved moved in with me. I was retired for the last couple years but boredom got the best of me so I have gone back to work part time as a support worker at a women's shelter. I also keep myself busy as facilitator for two meetup groups in the area. I am also involved with the TS support group here in down town Vancouver.

Haven't had much time to be bored or lonely. As for a normal life? Well if you count what keeps me occupied as I described above as normal, as well as sharing my life with my beloved, then I am enjoying my normal life. I have done well working as a social worker for over twenty years, working with mostly women was an asset for me.

So no, I can't say I have had the post-op blues, I keep to busy for that, and anyway, I love and respect the caring little lady I have become, to much to suffer any kind of blues about myself.

Cindy 
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Rachael

Doh! so it was! i never realised those things went forwards. Then again, ive never ever looked at or needed one :P
Must be truely awesome finally being right. There are so many of us who dream of finally having that chance like you ladies. And when you finally get it, people complain that thier life has suddenly become boring... nothing to do...  This tails past the end of transition. Up till that point, being 'trans' has been some people's life... finally being a normal person is so unforfilling when thier entire life has been made up of gender...
Considering how much you spent, you could atleast find a hobby no? and perhaps provide a better example to those of us who feel hopless and desperate daily... waiting, wanting, and with no sigh of ever getting what we need.
Blanche: You have a second chance. This is your second chance at life, the correct life... Dont squander it wondering why you are so bored, get out, do things, meet people, live... Make all those years of suffering worth it...
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