28 years ago I changed my boy-name to a different boy-name and there are still people, family and "friends" who refer to me by the old boy-name.
Some people are never going to get it.
A couple of decades ago I lived nearly full time as a girl for a couple of years (before going back in the closet which I regret now very deeply). I tweezed my brows, dyed and permed my long hair very curly femme. My old friends I saw in androgyne drag, a few new acquaintances saw me en femme, and never the twain did meet. New guys met me with a femme name and that's all they knew -- no confusion there.
My old boy-name (recent name) with a letter or two changed is androgyne or femme (Lian is boy/girl, and Liann is girly). That new spelling and pronounciation goes on my next driver's license, along with a new picture of my dyed long hair with some femme makeup. Here in California it takes nothing more than filling in the name blank on an application to get your preferred name on the DL, but the F sex-marker checkbox takes SRS.
That's how I'm doing it. New people will know me as her, old people will know him, and I can still perk up my head when my name is called either way, they are close enough in pronounciation.
Until you get the SRS you are legally still M, after SRS you are legally F. The correct pronoun is the legal pronoun for legal situations. You can use preferential pronouns in casual situations, but you can't insist on it.
You can inform people that you are offended by their failure to recognize your gender identity when displayed so overtly what your preference is, and that you will terminate relationships with them unless they cease deliberate offensive behaviors. Those whom don't take the warning are not worth continuing in your life -- there are 6,000,000,000 people on Earth and you can find in that crowd ones whom are better companions and friends than thickheads.
They say you can pick your friends but not your relatives. Actually you can pick both, and ignore those who don't like you. In this world you can pick your sex, and nobody gets more say on that decision than you do. There's nothing wrong with picking the sex which you prefer and living it. Anything else is outmoded obsolete thinking, and you shouldn't feel obligated to respect it. There is nothing wrong with your decision and nobody else has the right to make you feel bad, or even awkward, about it.
Half the world is female -- there's nothing bad or wrong about that. Making you feel guilty about choosing to be female implies there is something wrong about choosing female. How can there be anything wrong? -- every person alive was born from a woman, so how can that be a bad thing, to be a woman?
