Hi, Margaret, When you transition your should do it at your own pace but I believe that to stop in mid-stride is not a good thing to do as it appears you have already found. I started full time the same summer of 2000, the same year that my son departed from this world.
For me the GID had gotten to being severe in its nature, enough that thoughts of suicide were constantly on my mind. Later that year I was also left with a friend's three children in my care which turned out to be for the duration of two years. It was those three children that kept me sane through the early part of my transition and life was good.
But then life has been good for me most times although it has sometimes threatened to fall apart on me, but at the very last minute something always came along that kept me from being consumed by negative challenges. Today I have good life, I am happy, I have a loving mate and I am an upbeat person most of the time.
Sometimes it almost feels like I am committing a terrible mortal sin or something especially in the light of many TS folks who have lived such brief, young, turmoiled lives compared to mine. Well, I didn't come here for my health, I came back here to Susan's with the hope that maybe I can teach someone how to smile as well.
I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love...
Please continue to share, hon.
Cindy