Is seeing a gender therapist all it is cracked up to be.

[Nicky]

I often suggest to people that they should see a therapist if they are struggling with their gender issues but I wonder if it is worth while as many people say it is?

I have never talked to one and don't really want to unless I want to get on the hormone wagon. There are times it would probably have been good to talk to someone who does not judge and perhaps I currently need that. I don't know, I feel reluctant to take that step but am not sure why. I'm not sure what I would gain. Perhaps I am just not very good at asking for help.

What are your experiences with gender therapists? Did they help, was it worth it?

[Elwood]

My Gods. It was sure worth it for me. I released so much tension seeing him. Wrote a blog about the visit: [Link]

Also, you don't HAVE to go in there for hormones. Yes, most of us do, but you may take it at your own pace.

I've only seen De Mara once, but I find him already extraordinarily helpful. He's calm, comforting, empathetic, and he gives feedback. Exactly what I want in a doctor.

[funnygrl]

gotta agree with Elwood, I luv my therapist, she's great and I personally feel that my transition would not be going as well as it is without her!!!!

[Arch]

What are your experiences with gender therapists? Did they help, was it worth it?

Yes.
Yes.
YES.
'Nuff said.

Seriously. My doc is incredible. Not everyone needs to do the whole full-blown therapy thang...but to work closely with someone who just GETS IT is phenomenal. He helps me immensely. If I tried to explain, I would just go all adjectival on you and wallow in hyperbole.

I don't like to ask for help, either. I don't like to feel dependent. I don't particularly like to talk about personal stuff. But I'm hella glad I'm getting over all of that, because I'm making real progress now.

Have you seen a therapist who doesn't specialize in gender? I'm not sure what your situation is.

[Kimberly]

A bit. It certainly wasn't bad talking with him by any means. I just had very little that I had problems with. He did help me realize I lied to myself, and that certainly is an important part. But, ^*shrug* It's been a while since I chatted with him (financial troubles just when I thought things MIGHT work out), but I've not missed it. ... I am a very introverted individual, and what I need to talk about now, very few have any clue about an none of it is about my physical gender.

[Shana A]

I saw a gender therapist for a couple of years, it was very helpful. I wouldn't be exaggerating to say she probably saved my life. It's been about a dozen years since then, and I now contemplate finding a therapist again.

Z

[Renate]

Some people go to a therapist for help. For them it can be a life-saver.

I went to a therapist because the rules say that I have to go to a therapist to get X, Y and Z done.
So I went to a therapist prepared to pour my soul out and presumably get at least some thought-provoking questions.
I was a bit disappointed. My therapist was so non-judgemental that I could have been talking to a wall.
Personally, I think it might have been more fun to talk with a therapist who was entirely hostile to GID.
At least that way, I might have gained some insight into something.

[NicholeW.]

I have found my therapists to be very helpful. But please do not expect "answers" or "figuring me out" from the good ones. I think we understand that figuring you out is very much your job, not ours.

The major problem I find with therapists is actually a problem with the SOC and the patients: so many go "to get hormones." Quite honestly, in that regard I am willing to write recommendations after visit one, simply to get the real reason for being there through the door. Giving the letter might take 3-4 visits just to be sure there is no evident psychosis running wild.

The deal with seeing a therapist that is most important is that deal that encompasses a willingness to learn about one's self, what moves one, what shakes one. The therapist can be an excellent guide on that journey, but so many have that other thing in mind: Getting something they want.

Discovery and getting anything but knowledge is a particularly bad way to go about any venture, especially one of the heart and mind. A therapist will generally know at first visit what the score is, the patient generally allows that to be evident from the git.

The very uselessness of embarking on therapy as a means to any end except discovering one's interior is one reason why I think we should get out of the gatekeeping business. The patients aren't helped by a letter, at least not helped by the therapist. One gains from therapy, like much else, what she puts into it.

The gatekeeping should be dropped and if people want therapy then they should get it. Otherwise an endo can probably tell on their own whether or not there is psychotic thinking present in the patient.

Go for therapy, not a letter.

Nichole

[tekla]

Some of the clinics out here on the Left Coast have abandoned the gatekeeper deal and moved to an 'informed consent' policy, where they assume you are a legal adult and responsible for the decisions you make about what you put into your body.

That leaves therapy for people who need it to help with a specific issue, or issues.  Which seems to be more helpful to everyone involved.

There are a lot of people who know what they want, and have a plan as to how to get there.  They ought to be allowed the right and freedom to pursue those choices.

[NicholeW.]

Mazzoni Center in Philly and the clinic in Boston have gone that route as well and its both sane and rational to do so. Psychosis is something that regardless of how well the patient thinks she/he can do is a rather hard thing to conceal for very long. It outs itself quite frequently within minutes.

I know the doctors at Mazzoni have gotten a few: like the Bruno Sammartino look-alikes who are convinced that a bit of estrogen is going to change them almost immediatekly into stunning near-models who will be the envy of every sixteen-year old girl in town!!

Those, at Mazzoni, are generally given placebo dosages until either the fantasy clears or they remain on the placebo dosage endlessly or they are outright told they will have to wait six months to start or that they will not be eligible.

Experienced docs, even relatively younger ones, like Rob at Mazzoni, who have built some experience working with TS/TG patients are pretty clear about to whom they will and will not prescribe. The medical profession doesn't really need therapists to decide for them who will and who will not get HRT, surgeries and such like accomodations.

It's a pose and just plain laziness on the parts of some docs who simply want five minutes with a patient, write a script, say take two and call me in three months for another $400 appointment and to be about getting another woman pregnant at an exorbitant price or testing some guy for fertility problems. It's the economy, stoopid!! And therapists very often will be just as intent on getting paid as anyone else. So are more often than not willing to do the gatekeeper thang.

Like I said, if you go for therapy go to help you find yourself and what makes you tick. Go to one of the informed consent clinics for HRT, etc.   

Nikki

[tekla]

like the Bruno Sammartino look-alikes who are convinced that a bit of estrogen is going to change them almost immediatekly into stunning near-models who will be the envy of every sixteen-year old girl in town!!

And sadly, the reverse it true too.  (though I had to look up Bruno to find out who is was, the image is a good one).  T does not make you the man, its only helps complete the image somewhat.  Its only part of a process, and most of that process is internal and done before the HRT or the SRS.




Psychosis is something that regardless of how well the patient thinks she/he can do is a rather hard thing to conceal for very long. It outs itself quite frequently within minutes.
And Praise the Lord for that too, in my biz its almost a pre-req for being a rock star or actor, so it good to know right up front.  The joke is.... If you have one major problem you can be a stagehand, if you have two you can be a producer or director, if you have three or more, we have acting classes for you.