Fresh meat. First appointment tomorrow!

[ruavain]

Okay.  Hello!

Please, call me Nick.

I have been lurking around the past few days, finally getting the courage to actually post something.
(Forums in general make me nervous, I'm not entirely sure why?)

It's been nice, reading over a lot of the posts here, I went back a long while even (27 pages back?) and I have to admit that for the first time in my life, I feel normal (using the term in a situational sense).  I've found posts about the process of picking a new name, posts about the physical problems binders can cause (I think I hurt myself by binding poorly for a long time), things that I had always felt so "on my own" about and toiling over considerably.

I would like to say, I'm not troubled.  I'm not confused, or depressed.  I do not hurt myself or intend to, and my friends are thus far very supportive.
I have a fantastic significant other and I am in a very safe and happy environment, and while I have not quite yet gotten around to coming out to my parents, I do have a lot of faith in them.

While my friends treat me very well, none of them entirely understand, if that makes sense.  I've never been part of any community or support group specifically like this.  Up until this point, I've done everything by myself.  Two years ago, I managed to crossdress and pass as male regularly for a year in college.
Someone, a friend, finally figured me out and told me that I had been doing it wrong and hurting myself -- I had been binding too-tightly with nothing but ace bandages.  I had to stop, when I put on a small bit of extra weight, and my chest got larger (I was a D when I started binding, I was last told I was an "F" cup when I got measured at Frederick's) and now I'm unsure of how to safely and effectively bind (my chest hurts *all* the time now, no matter what, and I'm told it is because of the way I used to bind for so long).  I've looked over a lot of the posts, but if anyone has any specific advice for someone so endowed, it would be appreciated.  Please keep in mind, I am not too well off financially at the moment.

But!  Mostly, I wanted to introduce myself and say hello to everyone, I'm sorry that this is so long.

I have my first appointment with a therapist that handles trans patients and issues tomorrow.
I am extremely excited, but also (understandably, I think) nervous.
Does anyone have any advice for how the very first trip goes?  I know it's a very case-by-case, individual specific experience, I've just never spoken to anyone about my actual gender identity personally that was not a close friend.

In fact, any words or tips at all for absolutely anything would be welcome.


tl;dr: Hi, I'm Nick, I'm "new" to this though I've passed as male on-and-off for awhile now, I see a therapist for the first time tomorrow, let's be friends?

~ "Ashton Nicholas D."

[Adam]

Welcome Nick. Glad to have you here. Therapy can be pretty exciting. I've only seen my counselor twice but I already feel we're making huge progress. And he's doesn't even specialize in trans people. The first meeting was pretty much introduction and he asked me what I prefered to be called. The second meeting was spent making a plan for transitioning. I don't know how the third will go. Maybe we'll discuss how the plan is going so far.

[ruavain]

Welcome Nick. Glad to have you here. Therapy can be pretty exciting. I've only seen my counselor twice but I already feel we're making huge progress. And he's doesn't even specialize in trans people. The first meeting was pretty much introduction and he asked me what I prefered to be called. The second meeting was spent making a plan for transitioning. I don't know how the third will go. Maybe we'll discuss how the plan is going so far.

Thank you.     I am very excited.  I've only spoken to this woman on the phone so far, and it started out with me just leaving (a very awkward) message just saying that I was Nick, I'd found her through a transgender resource site, and gave my number.  When she called back she was extremely polite, never actually asked about my gender (either bio or identity), and even offered to lower her price (from $125 to $50!) when I explained my financial situation.  I have good feelings about this, I hope it goes as well as it sounds like yours is!

[Arch]

Hi, Nick. If you go to the Therapy threads (sounds like clothing that you'd wear to a session, doesn't it?), you might find some tips about first sessions, but it sounds like you're pretty well grounded. I'm sure it will go well.

Don't worry about feeling somewhat nervous. That's normal. It might take you a few sessions to get into the swing of things; that's normal, too. (In fact, I had something like fifteen sessions before I stopped being nervous--okay, scared--and could actually look at my therapist while I was talking to him. But I think I'm atypical.)

I would tell you about my first session, but in all honestly, I was so terrified (had some bad experiences with therapy before that, so I'm entitled to quake in my boots) that I don't even remember it. I'm sure that other people will chime in, though.

I'm glad you found Susan's Place. It's terrific.

Arch (aka The Big Chicken!!!)

[Randy]

You'll probably just go over your basic life story in regard to gender issues, talk about your identity as trans, maybe discuss how far you plan to go in transition, etc. That's what we did at my first session. Congrats for taking the plunge! 

(In fact, I had something like fifteen sessions before I stopped being nervous--okay, scared--and could actually look at my therapist while I was talking to him. But I think I'm atypical.)

Actually, I've had the same problem. It's gotten much better though.

[Arch]

(In fact, I had something like fifteen sessions before I stopped being nervous--okay, scared--and could actually look at my therapist while I was talking to him. But I think I'm atypical.)

Actually, I've had the same problem. It's gotten much better though.

That's the nice thing. If you persevere, it DOES get better. I didn't really see that while I was sweating it out and kicking myself for my apparent cowardice. Or what I perceived as cowardice. Whatever.

[ruavain]

Don't worry about feeling somewhat nervous. That's normal. It might take you a few sessions to get into the swing of things; that's normal, too. (In fact, I had something like fifteen sessions before I stopped being nervous--okay, scared--and could actually look at my therapist while I was talking to him. But I think I'm atypical.)

I would tell you about my first session, but in all honestly, I was so terrified (had some bad experiences with therapy before that, so I'm entitled to quake in my boots) that I don't even remember it. I'm sure that other people will chime in, though.

I'm glad you found Susan's Place. It's terrific.

Hi!  Thank you, I am glad I found this place, too.  I'll look at the therapy threads you mentioned, much appreciated.

It's a shame that you had bad experiences previously.  I had to see a therapist years ago (for something completely unrelated) and she was the sweetest little woman.  I think she was a hippie, looking back now...

You'll probably just go over your basic life story in regard to gender issues, talk about your identity as trans, maybe discuss how far you plan to go in transition, etc. That's what we did at my first session. Congrats for taking the plunge! 

Thanks much!  That's about what I was expected, and I think that I feel pretty darned prepared for that!