That's funny. I've always gone for more mature guys, particularly if they've got plenty of chest hair. Well, that's probably part of the reason I ended up staying with the same guy who busted my cherry. He doesn't realize it no matter how many times I tell him, but it's actually fortunate that he turned out to be an older male. It's been a consistent trend in my behavior to associate myself with older, well established gentlemen, whether or not I intend to date them. I stopped trying to explain it a long time ago, but I've been unconsciously flirting with them since I was old enough to get a stiffy.
Of course, I have no intention of dating outside of my present relationship, at least none that I will ever admit to. I'm quite satisfied with the person I'm with now. He says that he'll let me go through transition when it's feasible for me to get a uterus
I wonder if he realizes that I intend to take him up on that.
In answer to your question, though, I think that you'll probably go through this thing a lot easier if you desist in being so anxious about where the train is taking you. You know, when I'm on a train, I don't think much about the destination. I just strike up friendly conversations with people that I might otherwise rarely get a chance to meet or associate with long enough to really know all that well at all. That's a lot like what you've got in the TS community. We all come from very different backgrounds. Take this process as an opportunity to expand your horizens in other ways.
And it's perfectly normal for a woman to feel attracted to men. In fact...I think it's pretty typical.
