Killing My Father Diagnosis

[CC]

  Last week I finallly shared everything with my psychiatrist about my plan to transition and my work with the endo and my gender therapist. She knows all my history as she has also counciled me throught the last two years.

Here comment was that she was fine with my decision but wanted to make sure that I was clear why this was what I wanted. So we discussed my decision process, my feelings, the violent abuse from my father and the torment I experience over being in the wrong body. She then asked me if I understood that why I am doing this is because of my hatred for my father and by transitioning I am killing him?

Well, I've never really felt that was the case. I never felt like I needed to kill my male self. Just that I had to be my female self. But I do hate the man and certainly I wish I didn't look so much like him. But then again, I separated myself from his image about two years ago with the work I did with my Gender Therapist and I still didn't find peace. I'm seeing my GT tomorrow so we can talk about this then.

Has anyone ever heard of this type of diagnosis for a M to F transsexual?

[sneakersjay]

Okay, what I don't get is why there has to be some deep, dark psychological abnormality associated with gender identity disorder.  You are a woman, your body happens to be male.  What does this have to do with hatred of your father??  Sometimes I think psychiatrists enjoy reveling in fictional psychobabble.

Jay

[RebeccaFog]

Maybe the therapist is trying some new theory out.  I'd think you would consciously be aware that you wanted to kill off your male self in order to be feel free of your father. I would be.

That doesn't make sense anyway. Like you said, you desire to become a woman and not destroy a man. Plus many TS people have loving parents, so what's their deep dark excuse?

[CC]

I had never heard of that diagnosis either. It doesn't make sense to me anyway as I had completely supressed all the abuse from him after my suicide attempt at 5 that resulted in a brain injury.  I didn't recall the abuse until 40 years later through therapy. Then I confirmed it with my mom and sister.

So I have a feeling my Shrink is just trying to sway me away from transitioning.

[Flan Princess]

Maybe the therapist is trying some new theory out.

Perhaps a Freudian theory... 
The one in the same vein as 'yo momma... jokes fall under

[Mari]

it sounds indeed like psychoanalysis.. which is basicly Freud

Sometimes I think psychiatrists enjoy reveling in fictional psychobabble.

hehe i fell the same way Jay... and your comment made me laugh

[joannatsf]

it sounds indeed like psychoanalysis.. which is basicly Freud

Sometimes I think psychiatrists enjoy reveling in fictional psychobabble.

hehe i fell the same way Jay... and your comment made me laugh

I'm friendly with about a dozen psychiatrists and none of them enjoy psycho-babble.  There is a language mental health care providers use to discuss pathology just like there is in any specialty.  Does anyone ever accuse their endocinologists of endo-babble?

A psychiatrists can't tell you what your thoughts and motivations are.  The final call on it is yours to make.  Knowing your history the doctor may have laid out this observation for you to consider.  Think about it and dtermine whether or not you think it's valid.  If it is, wouldn't it be better to know it before you're waking up from the SRS anesthesia?

[soldierjane]

I had never heard of that diagnosis either. It doesn't make sense to me anyway as I had completely supressed all the abuse from him after my suicide attempt at 5 that resulted in a brain injury.  I didn't recall the abuse until 40 years later through therapy. Then I confirmed it with my mom and sister.

So I have a feeling my Shrink is just trying to sway me away from transitioning.

Totally. Sounds like one of those far-fetched and antiquated theories of why we feel how we feel. Remember when it was absent fathers? The gays used to get that one too.

You are who you are, trust that feeling. Don't worry, being subject to these kinds of things is par for all trans men and women. Congrats on your transition

[sneakersjay]

I'm friendly with about a dozen psychiatrists and none of them enjoy psycho-babble.  There is a language mental health care providers use to discuss pathology just like there is in any specialty.  Does anyone ever accuse their endocinologists of endo-babble?

I live and work with varied professionals, but mainly doctors and educators.  There are some in both groups that enjoy nothing more than clouding issues by using terminology that sounds lofty and educated but in reality means nothing.  I call BS when I see it.

By the above 'diagnosis' I'm also killing my mother by surgically excising all things feminine about me, that this all boils down to a poor relationship with my mother.  BULL SH*T. 

Psychobabble= BS from people (ie psychiatrists) who truly don't understand transsexualism.


Jay

[pennyjane]

hi cc.  if your psychiatrist put it like that....as a statement....i would really want to talk with her about what she sees in you that makes her sure enough to state this catagorically.  but if it were posed more as a question then i think she might be just trying to make you think.  so...think...and then tell her how rediculous it is. 

[joannatsf]

By the above 'diagnosis' I'm also killing my mother by surgically excising all things feminine about me, that this all boils down to a poor relationship with my mother.  BULL SH*T. 

Psychobabble= BS from people (ie psychiatrists) who truly don't understand transsexualism.


Jay

It's an observation, not a diagnosis.  The point I was making is that the decisions are ultimately up to the client.  That's why I put it in bold typeface.   If you think the doc is wrong, just say so.  If he or she wants to make an issue out of it, move on to someone else.  My own shrink pushes me around on things occasionally and I understand he wants me to examine my motivations and actions.  That's kind of what I pay him for.  Going to the OP, "Her comment was that she was fine with my decision but wanted to make sure that I was clear why this was what I wanted. So we discussed my decision process, my feelings, the violent abuse from my father and the torment I experience over being in the wrong body. She then asked me if I understood that why I am doing this is because of my hatred for my father and by transitioning I am killing him?"  That sounds to me like an invitation to do some self-reflection. 

Now, about your mother...

[RebeccaFog]

maybe transexualism occurs when someone is bitten by someone of the opposite sex. Once bitten, the person transitions into the sex of the person who bit them?


This is what I would say.  How are they going to disprove it?

[CC]

hi cc.  if your psychiatrist put it like that....as a statement....i would really want to talk with her about what she sees in you that makes her sure enough to state this catagorically.  but if it were posed more as a question then i think she might be just trying to make you think.  so...think...and then tell her how rediculous it is. 

Hi PennyJane,

I spoke with her last week and addressed her comment and added how much happier I've been since my epiphany. Then I reminded her that she had said in the following meeting after the comment that in the previous session she knew that I was doing better as I had skipped in her office and giggled during our session. Me? A 6'2" 195lb masculine man skip and giggle?

Then the session moved to the concerns and considerations that I must face should I transition. So she has now moved past that silly comment.

I love my psychiatrist as she is very caring and helpful. So I wiull forgive her for this desperate try at clouding the isssue for me in the hopes of protecting my children and wife.


Posted on: October 25, 2008, 07:27:35 pm

By the above 'diagnosis' I'm also killing my mother by surgically excising all things feminine about me, that this all boils down to a poor relationship with my mother.  BULL SH*T. 

Psychobabble= BS from people (ie psychiatrists) who truly don't understand transsexualism.


Jay

It's an observation, not a diagnosis.  The point I was making is that the decisions are ultimately up to the client.  That's why I put it in bold typeface.   If you think the doc is wrong, just say so.  If he or she wants to make an issue out of it, move on to someone else.  My own shrink pushes me around on things occasionally and I understand he wants me to examine my motivations and actions.  That's kind of what I pay him for.  Going to the OP, "Her comment was that she was fine with my decision but wanted to make sure that I was clear why this was what I wanted. So we discussed my decision process, my feelings, the violent abuse from my father and the torment I experience over being in the wrong body. She then asked me if I understood that why I am doing this is because of my hatred for my father and by transitioning I am killing him?"  That sounds to me like an invitation to do some self-reflection. 

Now, about your mother...

I fully agree Jay. as for my mother......absent, neglectful and sacrificed me to my father so that he wouldn't take it out on her. So been there done that.

[pennyjane]

hi cc...glad ya'll have resoved that little twist and have moved on.  ok, giggling and skipping?  i won't visualize you doing that, if i wanted to see it i could just look in the mirror.  but, whatever it is that's causing you to giggle and skip must really be neat!  God bless and keep putting that one in front of the other.