How I Decided To Transition

[Julie Marie]

I have wanted to be a girl all my life. That means for over half a century I have been wishing and hoping and praying something would happen to me to make me female. Guess what? Nothing happened.

In July of 2004 I started seeing a TG therapist, at the insistance of my wife. She thought I could be cured. She was told before we married in 1981 but not the whole story. I was too deep in denial to admit that even to myself, although I've always known it was there.

The therapist knew right away I was TS. She never said it but from her questions it was pretty obvious. Then I moved a step further and asked for the HRT letter. I've been on HRT for about a year now but had made no plans to fully transition. I have kids and felt the responsibility to be what they wanted me to be even though they are out of the house and I only see them a few days a year. Actually I only see my daughter now because my sons want nothing to do with me. And yes, I am divorced now. She couldn't handle it. So it's just me now and I can no longer see living my life for others 24/7/365 when I may only see my daughter (she's 1000 miles away) once or twice a year.

Anyway, HRT has been pretty good to me. Here's a comparison of me two years ago and me today

It's not just the face that's changed, of course. I no longer wear breast forms, my skin is as soft as a genetic woman's, body hair has diminished, all the typical stuff. But when I saw those two pics side by side I thought "I can do this!"

I have decided on Dr. Mark Zukowski (Dr Z) for FFS. He's only about a 45 minute drive from my home, and Dr. Brassard in Montreal for GRS. A TS friend of mine recently went to him and was delighted with the results. I see my HRT doc today and I will discuss injections with him.

As far as all the other usual problems associated with transitioning, I have solved most all of them. When it comes to family and friends I've seen people leave my life and people stay. Those who have stayed are the ones who truly love me and want me to be happy. Work is pretty much figured out as I will retire before completing my transition. I will need to sell my house to pay for the surgeries and electrolysis but there will be enough left over to buy a smaller place or put it away for retirement. If I need additional income I always have my skills as an electrician as well as those I developed as a woodworker to fall back on. There's a LGBT advertising booklet that I could place ads in to get work if needed.

I won't easily pass but I think I'll do well enough. If I get clocked, so what? I'm not a GG and will never look like one. I am a transsexual and that's what I'll look like and I'm perfectly okay with that. Sure, I'd love to be able to live in stealth but 40+ years of post pubescent T damage has made that pretty difficult. That I have finally accepted I'll look like a TS and not a GG was a major step for me.

I expect there to be other issues that surface as I take this path. I think I'm in a strong enough position mentally to handle them. Only time will tell. What I do know is I am really feeling anxious to complete this transition so I can get on with living the way I've wanted to all my life.

[tinkerbell]

I won't easily pass but I think I'll do well enough. If I get clocked, so what? I'm not a GG and will never look like one. [/font][/color]

What?  you won't easily pass?  what are you talking about?  Julie, if someone out there thinks you don't pass, well that person (not you) has very serious issues about gender....
Sweetie, you pass 100%, not only that, but you're also a beautiful lady....


tinkerbell

[Chaunte]

Julie Marie,

You look wonderful!  Passing is all about attitude, and yours is great!

Chaunte

[DawnL]

Sounds like your transition is going well, congratulations.  I agree with the others, you look lovely, very passable.  Whatever problems you feel remain, Dr Z will fix.  I had FFS with him over a year ago and the result has been better than I imagined.  He is the best.

Dawn

[Julie Marie]

Thanks for the support ladies. You are too kind.

Dawn, it's great to hear you were pleased with Dr Z. I've heard so many great things about him. My therapist first recommended him aver a year ago but I wasn't ready yet. If you're okay with it I'd like to hear about your experience.

[Buffy]

Hey Julie.... you look fantastic Honey.

You won't have many problrms looking as you do.....

Buffy

[Jillieann Rose]

Thank you for sharing.
And I agree with the other girls.
You will pass. You look better than many GG girls I know.

Jillieann

[jamie lee]

Julie you look wonderful. I can only hope I look half a good when I start HRT ! 
Jamie L

[Diane]

Julie, the changes in your pictures are very dramatic.You look great girl.

[Melissa]

I agree with the others.  The first picture looks like a "man in a dress", but the second looks like a woman.  I know it's a wig in that picture, but once you grow your hair to that length, I think it's a good style for you.  I also think a lot of the reason the second picture looks better is you probably got better at applying makeup.

Melissa