Name change ceremony

[debbiej]

I am going to court on November 25th, 2008 to legally change my name. Coming with me will be my wife, pastor (my two witnesses), and several members of my church to help celebrate this milestone in my life (I love the United Church of Christ!!). I'm wondering if anyone knows of a ceremony or ritual for changing your name or if anyone has any creative ideas for how to celebrate this moment in my life. This means so much more than a simple swearing in with witnesses in a county court house. Can you help me make this special!!

Dee Ellen 

[Renate]

My day in court was a special day that I'll never forget.
It was over in under a minute though.

I've no suggestions for a ceremony, but find out if the judge will allow a snapshot or two in the courtroom.

[Lisbeth]

I am going to court on November 25th, 2008 to legally change my name. Coming with me will be my wife, pastor (my two witnesses), and several members of my church to help celebrate this milestone in my life (I love the United Church of Christ!!). I'm wondering if anyone knows of a ceremony or ritual for changing your name or if anyone has any creative ideas for how to celebrate this moment in my life. This means so much more than a simple swearing in with witnesses in a county court house. Can you help me make this special!!

Dee Ellen 

Since you are a UCC member, you may be interested in the one from Lutherans Concerned.

Minister: The Lord be with you.

Congregation: And also with you.

M: Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.

C: It is right to give God thanks and praise.

M: Holy God who is our sovereign and gracious Mother and Father: We give you thanks, that in the beginning you created us in your image, male and female in your image. In the Logos and the Sophia we see that your image is masculine and feminine, protecting and nurturing, leading and loving. We bear that image still today, though marred by conflict between our foremother and forefather, a conflict that divides us, man from woman.  By the incarnation, death and resurrection of Jesus, who is both Logos and Sophia, you have healed our division by gender, and shown us that in Christ there is neither male nor female.

(The minister makes the sign of the cross over the transitioning person.)

M: Pour out your Holy Spirit, so that this brother/sister who has come before you here may live a new life in the gender of his/her choice.  To you be given praise and honor and worship through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, now and forever.

C: Amen.

M: Hear from scripture how the image of God encompasses both male and female and transcends them both.

(A reading follows. A sermon may be added at this point.)

M: Because God's image encompasses and transcends both male and female, we are assured that we can show that image whether we are masculine or feminine.  We are further assured that society need not be the arbiter of our gender identity.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, OLD NAME has come before you today, acknowledging the brokenness of a conflict over gender identity in his/her life, yet affirming that in Christ there is healing. OLD NAME wishes to declare that, for him/her, healing includes gender transition, and that from this day he/she no longer wishes to live as a man/woman, but wishes to transition into the role of a woman/man.

M: Do you wish to be known as a woman/man?

Transitioning person: I do.

M: How do you wish to be named?

T: NEW NAME.

M: You have heard NEW NAME's intention to transition.  Do you intend to support her/him in this?

Family: We do.

M: In Christian love you should, therefore, faithfully care for her/him and assist her/him in every way as God gives you opportunity, that she/he may bear witness to the faith we profess, and that, living in the covenant of her/his baptism and in communion with the church, she/he may lead a godly life until the day of Jesus Christ.

Do you promise to fulfill these obligations?

F: We do.

(The family faces the transitioning person.)

F: NEW NAME, we affirm you as a member of our family and assure you of our continuing love. We promise to love and accept you as the person you are rather than as the person we think you ought to be.

M: Let us pray. Gracious God, through water and the Spirit you made this woman/man your own.  You forgave her/him all her/his sins and brought her/him to newness of life. Continue to strengthen her/him with your Holy Spirit, and daily increase in her/him the gifts of your grace: the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord, the spirit of joy in your presence; through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

C: Amen.

M: OLD NAME has now become NEW NAME, a woman/man of God.  Let us, as the people of God, affirm our welcome of her/him among us and thereby pledge her/him our support.

C: We affirm your welcome and our support of you as a member of God's family. We accept you as a fellow member of the body of Christ, a child of the same heavenly Father, and a worker with us in the kingdom of God.

M: Go in peace.

C: Amen.

[debbiej]

Lisbeth,

Thank you for sharing. I had a hard time reading towards the end due to the tears in my eyes.

If anyone else has anything similar I would greatly appreciate several sources as I put something together. If you're interested I will repost what I come up with to share with others who might want have a formal ceremony.

Thank you so much,

Dee Ellen

[Janet_Girl]

I celebrated by going straight to the SSA and change it there so that I was complete.

[Renate]

I celebrated by going to Human Resources of my company, Social Security, my bank, my library and I sent off my passport for a new one.

[Godot]

That was beautiful, Lisbeth

And name changing can be a heck of a celebration

[Wendy C]

Lisbeth, I read your post with tears in my eyes, pain in my heart and hope in my mind. A year ago I was for all practical purposes shunned by my Lutheran Pastor. When I sought aid and solice a year ago I was told that he would no longer allow me to partake in communion or be allowed other Church functions. I would be allowed to attend only, nothing more. That was within the Mo. Synod which is very conservative. It still hurts to this day and I have never returned there.

What you shared is beautiful and I would seriously like to know more. Please pm me. Hugs

[JennJenn]

It makes me happy taht you're doing something that makes you happy, and i can see how changing your name can be a very special experience. ^^

[debbiej]

Tuesday is my BIG day!!! Here is how I adapted Lisbeth's post. Thanks Lisbeth!!!

I love my Lutheran sisters and brothers but I did have to change a few things to have it match my theology. I also took out the reference to gender being a choice. Feel free to use my version as you wish.


A Service of Affirmation

For
Dee Ellen Dressler

First Congregational United Church of Christ
Alexandria, Minnesota

November 25th, 2008


Pastor: The Lord be with you.

The Family of Faith: And also with you.

Pastor: Let us give thanks to our creator, our redeemer and our sustainer.

The Family of Faith: It is right to give God thanks and praise.

Pastor: Let us pray. Holy God who is our sovereign and gracious Mother and Father: We give you thanks, that in the beginning you created us in your image, male and female in your image. In the Logos and the Sophia we see that your image is masculine and feminine, protecting and nurturing, leading and loving. Pour out your Holy Spirit, so that this sister who has come before you here may live a new life identified in the gender of her being.  To you be given praise and honor and worship through Jesus Christ our Lord, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, now and forever.

The Family of Faith:  Amen.

Pastor: Because God's image encompasses and transcends both male and female, we are assured that we can live in God's image whether we are masculine or feminine.  We are further assured that society need not be the arbiter of the gender with which we identify.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, Dale Allan has come before you today, acknowledging the incongruity of her name and her gender identity in her life, yet she affirms that in Christ there is healing. Dale Allan wishes to declare that, for her, healing includes gender transition, and that from this day she no longer wishes to be identified as a man, but wishes to transition into the truth of her being - as a woman of God.

Pastor: Do you wish to be known as a woman of God?

Dee Ellen: I do.

(Scripture to be read by individuals within the Family of Faith)

I    Then Andrew brought Simon to meet Jesus. Looking intently at Simon, Jesus said, "Your name is Simon, son of John—but you will be called Cephas" (which means "Peter")
John 1:42

II    You're the one, God, the God who chose Abram and brought him from Ur of the
    Chaldees and changed his name to Abraham. You found his heart to be steady and
      true to you and signed a covenant with him...
      Nehemiah 9:7

III    Moses gave Hoshea (Salvation) son of Nun a new name—Joshua (God-Saves).
      Numbers 13:16

IV    ...You'll get a brand-new name straight from the mouth of God. You'll be a stunning
      crown in the palm of God's hand, a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
      No more will anyone call you Rejected, and your country will no more be called Ruined.
      You'll be called Hephzibah (My Delight), and your land Beulah (Married), Because God
      delights in you and your land will be like a wedding celebration...
      Isaiah 62:1

Pastor: How do you wish to be named?

Dee Ellen: Dee Ellen Dressler

Pastor: You have heard Dee Ellen's intention to be known with a new name, a name that signifies her true self as she continues her faith journey. As her Family of Faith, do you intend to support her in her continuing journey with her new name?

The Family of Faith:  We do.

Pastor: In Christian love you should, therefore, faithfully care for her and assist her in every way as God gives you opportunity, that she may bear witness to the faith we profess, and that, living in the covenant of her baptism and in communion with the church, she may lead a godly life.

Do you promise to fulfill these obligations?

The Family of Faith:  We do. -  Dee Ellen, we affirm you as a member of our family of faith and assure you of our continuing love. Dee Ellen, we promise to love you and accept you as the person that God has created you to be.




Pastor: Let us pray. Gracious God, through water and Spirit you made this woman your own.  You forgave her all her sins and brought her to newness of life. Continue to strengthen her with your Holy Spirit, and daily increase in her the gifts of your grace: the spirit of your wisdom and understanding, the spirit of your counsel and might, the spirit of your knowledge and the joy of your presence; through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

The Family of Faith:  Amen.

Pastor: Dale Allan will now be known as Dee Ellen, a woman of God.  Let us, as the people of God, affirm our welcome of her and thereby pledge our support of her.

(The family of faith will now gather around Dee Ellen and lay their hands upon her)

The Family of Faith:  Dee Ellen, we affirm that you are welcomed to journey with us and among us and we will support you as a member of God's family. Dee Ellen, we accept you as a beloved member of the body of Christ, a child of the same heavenly creator, and a worker with us in God's reign on Earth.

Pastor: Go now in peace.

The Family of Faith:  Amen.

Please greet Dee Ellen and welcome her anew into your Family of Faith.



Adapted from a litany from Lutherans Concerned

[Lisbeth]

Your adaptation is so beautiful. It made goosebumps on my back. Thank you for sharing.