Brother, you've pissed me off far enough

[Godot]

I apologize for this upcoming rant that I'm gonna spew out. There may be a lot of swear words. I feel like I need to get this off my chest so here it goes


Hmm..well about two years ago or so my brother came up to live with me and my parents. I was really happy and I still am for the most part. But like those who have siblings, they can piss you off over stupid things.

Right now, I'm pissed at him because he was whining like a ->-bleeped-<-ing little kid about something of his. All night I've felt like just screaming at someone.

Part of today didn't go well for me when my mom was talking about the TG subject. I mean, why is it SO HARD to accept your kid the way they are? It seems like no matter what I try to share with my brother, whether it be a video game, somethin funny online, some news I saw on TV, anything he just seems to completely ignore and say "Yeah that's cool, now look at MY ->-bleeped-<-"...WHAT THE <not allowed>? Why should I look or share with his things when he ignores anything I show him?

Ok well now I'm just spewing off random ->-bleeped-<-. For the past couple days I've felt so frustrated and pissed off I feel like I'm losing my mind. Well tonight my brother went to work and he somehow knew I was mad at him, so I told my mom that when he calls from work for her to talk to him because I didn't want to talk to him. She did, and asked me to talk to him because she said "I hurt his feelings and he's apologizing" I said "Haha no way I'm talking to him" and she said "You hurt his feelings I can hear it in his voice" and I just wanted to yell "GOOD, I HOPE HE ->-bleeped-<-IN CRIES." I never talked to him, I just told her I didn't want to talk to him. Aw poor brother, did I hurt his little feelings?

Well I sure ->-bleeped-<-in hope I did, he can get a taste of what he does to me all the time. I'm going through PMS at the moment and I don't feel good...that explains why I feel like losing it..I feel like screaming at someone until they cry and then yelling some more so they feel worse and worse about themselves.

I told my mom today that I'm still getting over my ex boyfriend and how I still cry about it sometimes..it's been a little over a year since the break-up and even since then I've felt myself feel different..that was a hard punch that break-up packed. She feels sorry for me that I'm still hurt, but I'm sure people must think I'm a sissy for still crying over an ex boyfriend I met on the internet. Even though most e-dating is fake and never works, this one really worked out...we talked on the phone everyday, we said "I love you" to each other all the time, we could talk to each other about anything..and...I'm crying now lol.

I'm angry, sad, missing the only person I could talk to and he would actually listen to what I had to say (my ex) and how he'd actually respond back..and not sit there like a dumb ->-bleeped-<- like my family often does.

I am glad of the family I have, they're a good family and they treat me right..it's just some things they don't understand about me and those things I wish they did understand...I apologize for this horrible rant and if it's hard to understand I can clarify..I was just mixed up when I wrote it and I wrote whatever came to mind..I'm still not comfortable with my gender...I feel like I'm not a real guy because I'm not on any kind of hormone, I can't pass, I still have breasts..and everything else..and I feel like my chosen name is stupid but I'm just trying it out to see how I like it..I'm done now, I'm sorry 

Raditz..

[je]

I just like them cut into neat little paragraphs. And maybe with a font style and color that doesn't blind me.

I second that.

[Dennis]

I don't mind rants. I just like them cut into neat little paragraphs. And maybe with a font style and color that doesn't blind me. If not...I don't bother with them regardless of content.

Yeah I gotta confess, if it's hard to read because of fonts and blocking, I phase out after the first sentence or so.

Dennis

[Janet_Girl]

Godot,

I am use to different fonts.  Ask anyone here about the "Mistress Janet" days.  But I did read it all and you have every right to rant and rave.  We all do, and that is why this family is about, letting someone get something off there chest.

Give your whinnying brother a kick in the pants for me and tell to buck up.
And for you, Big Hug.

[perfectisolation]

Wow nice change of topic.. lol

I feel for ya, Godot..
My brother has been pissing me off lately too. So I'll just rant it here so i dont have to make a new thread...I hardly ever talk to him even when he's around... but he spent this summer at home, and the entire time all I hear from him is constant whining and screaming about how he's soo depressed, "OHHH GOD LIFE IS MEANINGLESS, WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME", he calls himself an "outcast", can't get a girlfriend because he's too short, or has acne, or stupid shallow bull->-bleeped-<- like that. i mean come on, girls will like you for their personality, they are not as shallow about their partners as men are  ...

and so all this time I'm hiding in my gender identity crisis, extreme amounts of dysphoria and depression, extreme anxiety, and i never say a word about this to them. I tell my mom, I tell her that my brother's being a drama queen, and that his problems aren't nearly as bad as mine. and she goes and says "WELL YOU'RE A DRAMA QUEEN TOO!". What the hell??? My mom always defends him, honestly I think she likes him better. she always acts nicer towards him too.

and guess what, now he has more friends, a girlfriend, etc. He calls himself an outcast, complains about how society treats him. wtf is this bs? He is a white, straight, middle class male. He is the ideal of society.
and he is male and I am not.... eff him. What a drama queen. full of s***.

[Godot]

Sry about the font..

And yeah..family members can be a pain in the ass..and it hurts when it seems like the parents favor one of their kids more than the other..I think in some ways my bro is more of a fav to my mom because he's older and can do more..whereas I'm 17 and can't really do much

[Kelley Jo]

Nah, I made way too big a deal of it. I was tired and a little too boozed up.

You know what? I am nearly 50 years old and my older brother is closing in on 60 and despite our ages there is still the tinyest bit of sibling rivalry going on between us. We both know it is an issue and we just deal with it. It exists in all families.

This is not to minimize the conflict in your family, just to say it is completely normal. Hey, it could be worse. You could be an orphan or an only child. Cherish your family.

[Godot]

That's true..

I'm thankful that I do have a brother..he's helped me out a lot in my life.

As of right now, he's not acting like a kid anymore..and I'll keep your kick in reserve for next time, Janet 
*hugs back*

[Elwood]

Ignoring what you show him might not mean he doesn't accept you being TG. Sounds like normal brother behavior. I learned that in order to have a brother and be a brother, you've got to have some tough skin.

[Godot]

It's not the TG stuff he ignores..it's anything in general. It could be a funny video on Youtube, a cool song, anything and he'll most of the time ignore it. I just quit sharing stuff with him