Hi Rita,
I know what you mean. I'm really tall, 6'5" in my bare feet, and have been cursed with clodhoppers for feet, men's size 14/15, so I'm pretty much limited to buying on-line, as there are no local stores that carry shoes in my size/s. I've found that large-sized women's shoes vary widely in sizing, as I have women's shoes in sizes 15, 16 and 17 that fit me well. It seems like when you get into the really large sizes, there's usually less difference between men's and women's sizes. I suspect that your size 14's that didn't fit were mislabeled and were not really 14's, as you should have been able to fit into a 14 with no problem, even if it was a bit tight.
Unfortunately though, trial-and-error when buying shoes is a necessary evil that we bigfeet have to put up with.
On the bright side, there are quite a few on-line stores that carry shoes in our sizes now, WAY better than when I was starting out back in the 1970's when the largest women's shoes that weren't custom-made were 14's, and those were EXPENSIVE.
I've got a page on my personal web site with links to sites that carry women's larger-sized shoes, all go to at least size 14, so maybe this will be of value. The URL is
http://community-2.webtv.net/CAW_1976/Largesizewomensshoe/Carol
