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HRT effects relative to your personal expectations?

Started by BritneyBB, November 27, 2008, 09:53:44 PM

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BritneyBB

I've seen tons of posts over the years asking about the effects of HRT. I've recently started HRT under the care of an endocrinologist. Supposedly, I know roughly what to expect.

Well, here's my question that I haven't seen covered very often. For the girls who have been on HRT for a while, are the effects more significant than what you expected at the outset? Or less than what you expected?

Were you hoping for a lot of change and found yourself disappointed after a year?  Or did you find yourself surprised pleasantly?

The impression that I get is that the changes come slowly and kind of sneak up on you. I'm curious about what those who have experience have to say. Was there anything in particular that you didn't expect at the outset that turned out to be a pleasant surprise? On the other hand, was there anything you expected (hoped for) that turned out to be a big let down?

Cheers!
Britney
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Ashley315

Well, I'm only a little over 2 months in and the biggest surprise for me was the emotional and personality changes that came from it.  I have pretty much made a complete 180 turn in personality.  It has truly changed the way I view the world.
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Ms.Behavin

Yes the mental changes that estrogen has on some MTF, myself included is interesting.  How it effects you, varies from person to person.  For me, I noticed I was less spacelly aware,  IE it was harder to keep track of cars around me when driving and I got lost much more easily.  I started to like Guys more,  Though they have yet to like me :-(.  Plus the overall happier mental frame of mind. 

There is no predicting their full effects as it varies from person to person and the rate of change is SLOOOOW for both phyisical and mental changes.  It sort of sneaks up on you over time.  But it is amazing what it can do.

Beni
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NicholeW.

I expected a slow and drawn-out process with not a lot of change. Afterall, that's what most people said would occur.

Pleasantly surprised after about 6 months when suddenly it seemd everyone was IDing me, correctly of course, as female.

Like Beni said, results vary. But my experience wasn't that they varied sexually at all: bi before, bi after. However the directional difference that Beni mentioned applied to me as well.

Other than that, just a calmness that I hadn't experienced as an adult. Except for my startle-response: it became hair-trigger and has stayed pretty much there. I startle rather easily, noise is especially acute for me in that way.

Nichole

 
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Fox

4 months so far and no strong psychilogical alterations that I have been able to detect but in that aspect I think my mind was already along some of those paths. My directional sense has always been horible ive never been a nervous or jittery person so no noticeable extra calmness from estrogen. My sexual orientation was male before and estrogen only strengthened that somewhat. Greatest help came in alowing me to feel my emotions more and to be able to cry now when watching a sad anime. As for physical Im skinny with a very high metabolic rate so putting on weight is very difficult but Im at between a 34AA and a 32A cup. I haven't noticed any softening of the skin that most people seem to but I don't think my skin was all that rough in the first place. No change in hair yet. As for speed of change part of me agonizies over how slow it goes and the other half of me that contains my logical side is pleased that I have had any effect at all and concerend on being able to hide the any changes if they did come on to fast while still pasisng as male in everyday life.
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vanna

Yes the great thing about it creeping up on you is it allows you to put your house in order so to speak.

Its interesting what you said Nicole, i also experienced a much calmer outlook that i sorely lacked as a male presenting adult.
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Robin_p

Quote from: Beni on November 28, 2008, 10:45:42 PM
Yes the mental changes that estrogen has on some MTF, myself included is interesting.  How it effects you, varies from person to person.  For me, I noticed I was less spacelly aware,  IE it was harder to keep track of cars around me when driving and I got lost much more easily.  I started to like Guys more,  Though they have yet to like me :-(.  Plus the overall happier mental frame of mind. 

There is no predicting their full effects as it varies from person to person and the rate of change is SLOOOOW for both phyisical and mental changes.  It sort of sneaks up on you over time.  But it is amazing what it can do.

Beni

WOW, I have the same problem now when driving. My 14 year old son had to get us unlosted.

This is my second year on HRT. The changes will sneak up on you. As you notice thing like Breast, Face changing, Mental and emotional stuff. So will other people start noticing and treating you different. I don't mean in a bad way but like a girl.

So Socialization will be playing a big role in your mental and emotional being.

This year my face has changed alot with Electrolysis and the effects of hormones. There was a period of gladness/grief when i woke up and saw my face in the mirror.

I remember the day that i bang into my breast like in the six month. It hurt so bad i had tears in my eyes. Then i realize what happen and started screaming "I GOT A PAIR!!!!!!"

Now i have to get used to the fact guy's like talking down to 40C in a tight blouse shirt with clevage.

Things to do while waiting for the body to change. Name Change, Shopping, hair removal, Coming Out, Physical support group and More Shopping.
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almost,angie

My changes are almost none exsistant. I grew an A cup in a year but that is about it. No skin change , no facial changes, no emotional changes. I am the same "man" i was when I started.
  I had hoped for more but I may have to live out my life as a male . Hormones are not working on me.
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Northern Jane

Considering I had some natural estrogen from puberty onward and was on HRT at 18, I was really disappointed with my body shape. I was very active and had little body fat. At transition (age 24) I had a shape very much like Amelia Earhart and was really PO'ed that I didn't have the classic hourglass figure. At age 40 I met my birth mother and found out that I was an identical copy of her. If you don't got the genes, it ain't gonna happen!
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vanna

Quote from: almost,angie on November 29, 2008, 08:33:35 AM
My changes are almost none exsistant. I grew an A cup in a year but that is about it. No skin change , no facial changes, no emotional changes. I am the same "man" i was when I started.
  I had hoped for more but I may have to live out my life as a male . Hormones are not working on me.

Hi Angie

we're the same age and my experience was similar for my first year. My second year though was a completely different experience and i feminised immensely. I dont think for a min your end up having to live out your life as a male hun....some are just slow thats all. Emotional responses are a red herring in all this too, very dependant on your existing personality. I put no stock in them at all.
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almost,angie

Quote from: Vanna on November 29, 2008, 10:12:54 AM
Quote from: almost,angie on November 29, 2008, 08:33:35 AM
My changes are almost none exsistant. I grew an A cup in a year but that is about it. No skin change , no facial changes, no emotional changes. I am the same "man" i was when I started.
  I had hoped for more but I may have to live out my life as a male . Hormones are not working on me.

Hi Angie

we're the same age and my experience was similar for my first year. My second year though was a completely different experience and i feminised immensely. I dont think for a min your end up having to live out your life as a male hun....some are just slow thats all. Emotional responses are a red herring in all this too, very dependant on your existing personality. I put no stock in them at all.
Oh good I was hoping I would have a better year this year. After all i cannot stop hormones and go back. That would be torcher. You have made me feel much better today. ;D
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BritneyBB

This was my first post and I am psyched to see the many interesting responses!

From my perspective, I was really intrigued by Ashley's response, where she said that it changed her personality 180 degrees. (I would have liked to see some more detail... From what to what? )

All along I have felt like I am not really in control of my own destiny. For example, I started shaving my legs to look more feminine when I was in sixth grade. I didn't decide back then that I was a t-girl. How could anyone blame a sixth-grader for making that choice? Like many of us here, I could even cite earlier examples.

A doctor once asked me the following question: "If he could give me a pill to make all of my desire to be feminine go away permanently, would I take it?"  Probably not possible, but even if it was, it would be a tough pill for me to swallow. Not being TG would make my life a lot easier, but for better or worse, it is just a part of who I am. (How could I exist without being excited about wearing a sexy pair of slingbacks?)

Of course I've been dealing with these issues all along and discussing them with my therapist. I'm not full-time yet but I am part-time and working on facial hair removal. Whether it is logical or not HRT feels like the right choice.

I think that's why I am most concerned about the surprises. I have a certain set of expectations. I find it extremely interesting when people comment about aspects that they didn't expect. It doesn't seem like much to take a pill, or wear a patch, or get an IM injection. It really doesn't. After a week I think I notice some differences but I think it might just be my mind playing tricks. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime I am fascinated by the responses from the girls that have been through it already!

Cheers!
///Brit

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Northern Jane

Quote from: BritneyBB on November 30, 2008, 05:26:47 AMA doctor once asked me the following question: "If he could give me a pill to make all of my desire to be feminine go away permanently, would I take it?"

When I was about 15 I had already been fighting with my mother over my "inappropriate behaviour" for at least 5 years and with the onset of puberty it got a lot worse. At that point my mother took me to see the county shrink who pronounced me "Gay" (this was 1964 or 65) and suggested putting me on testosterone injections to "make a man of me". Now I was a fairly shy quiet and thoughtful kid but that time I FLIPPED! - I threw a hissy-fit that would do any teenage drama queen proud!!! I said "I would rather take cyanide!" I knew, somewhere deep inside, that that stuff (T) was poison to me and I would rather die. Fortunately my major flip-out caused my mother to let it go.

My puberty was a "mixed bag" - through some physiological oddity my body was producing both estrogen and testosterone (both at low levels) and physical development was mixed. Because of my mental state, the feminine development was welcome but the masculine was a source of considerable distress and I knew estrogen=good, testosterone=bad so I got estrogen whenever and however I could. Legal or otherwise, safe or dangerous, it didn't matter. When I turned 18 I gained some legal rights for my own medical treatment and the first thing I did was to get on supervised and legal HRT. (I sure wish they had T-blockers in those days! I would have been on them to.)

The effect of HRT then was somewhat calming and definitely helped me survive a few years longer. Most of all I felt I was doing SOMETHING at a time when nothing else could be done.
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Ashley315

To be more specific about my change in personality and emotions, pre HRT, I was very angry.  More so than I realized at the time.  I was also pretty unsympathetic toward other people and was mostly self centered and self serving.  Now it's the exact opposite.  My sympathy towards others has gone through the roof and the anger is no longer there.  Anyone who knew me from chat when I first started coming here could probably attest to this.

Also, I'm not sure how to describe it exactly, but walking outside and viewing the world, I see it so much differently now.  It's no longer a gloomy dreary place to me.  It's such a joy to just walk out and take a breath in a world you see as beautiful.

I'm just a much different person now and I couldn't be happier.
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Wendy C

I was always told and the literature that I read prior to transition was that change is linear with age. The younger supposedly the more you will change. I personally think it more like your mileage will vary.

It has been 11 months now on HRT M2F and I started when I was 60. I really didnt expect much change at all but instead I am satisfied so far. I have enough facial changes, fat redistribution in the buttox and hip area that it is noticeable, especially if it is someone that hasnt seen you in awhile or for the first time. The breast growth is slow but steady and at an A cup. There have been very few days when I havent been tender there or feel a soreness.

My Endo said from the beginning that even a young girl takes up to three years or more to go through puberty. So all in all Im happy with what its done. Emotionally it has been a big change and Im still not quite sure where it will end up. The depression and anxiety are relaxed and I'm sure the anti depressants are helping with that. I am much more emotional and prone to tearing up and crying. Where I was always very calm and able to hold my temper, I find myself with a hair trigger. But I back off as fast as I attack?  I suppose I have the hot flashes and night sweats, at least my wife is an expert on them :) and tells me that is what they are. And Ive had enough changes all in all to allow me to go FT in the next couple months.

Hugs

Wendy
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Ashley315

Age plays a role in it, but probably the most important factor is genetics.  I've heard of older girls getting great effects from HRT and I've heard of young girls getting very little.  Genetics explains why HRT effects vary so vastly from person to person.  That being said, I don't think anyone has been worse off after the effects of HRT, so it can't hurt.
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Audrey

it did take awhile for the hormones to kick in but Im really happy with the results.  My breast growth is coming along ok at an A.  The girls are proportional to my body so im not too down about it.  most of the changes occured in my fat distribution and face for sure.

Audrey
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sarahb

Hmm, I haven't thought too much about where the results are as opposed to my expectations except when it comes to breasts. I never expected too much in that area since I always heard you could expect whatever the girls in your family get. Therefore, I've been waiting to see what I end up with there. Right now I'm only about an A, maybe a really small B, but I've noticed another spurt of growth in the last couple of months so I'm still waiting to see.

But now that I think about it, the changes everywhere else are way past my expectations. I knew that it would soften the skin, alter the fat distribution, etc. but I would have never thought it would do so much. These days my skin is very soft and smooth, my hair on my body has become very thin and looks just like any other girl when I do let it grow out (when I get a little lazy). The fat redistribution has completely changed my figure and, probably due to good genes, have created the natural hourglass figure. My facial structure has been altered indirectly by the additional thin layer of fat that I heard women have under the skin. The mass I have lost in muscle has helped alter my physique to be more thin and femininely shapely. Another good change I noticed was in places like my hands and forearms where before I would have all these veins that pop out and uneven skin tones and made my hands/arms look obviously male. Now its all even toned and the veins have become less noticeable.

Overall, the changes for me were dramatic, but did come very very slowly. I've been on HRT now for about 2 years. I would say though that the changes do depend a lot on genes. I've been getting more and more comments lately that I am starting to look a lot like my two sisters, so basing your outcome somewhat on your sisters and/or mother may serve well.
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cindybc

It took me five years to grow a size 36B at 5'3" and my present weight is 128lbs. that is considered proportional. Prior to HRT I weight only 110 lbs, with the help of a protein drink and HRT I was up to 134 lbs which was an uncomfortable weight so I dropped back down to 128 at least have the semblance of a female shape hips and breasts.

The mood and emotional changes were the first to show up then the intensified sensitivities of the five senses, and such mental processes such as how you perceive things, intuition, awareness, attitude, and personality changes as well.

I believe that there are much more internal changes then there is in the outer physical part, and these inner changes do not end after SRS. I am satisfied with what I got in the physical, I am lucky to have had the physical changes I have for my age, but the really rewarding changes I believe are the internal ones.

Cindy 
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Northern Jane

Come to think of it, I did go through the typical changes after 30 (though I had been on HRT for years before). From being skinny as a rail and an A cup I became "rather round" and definitely busty by mid-50's. (Don't know where the D-size boobies came from - don't remember them growing LOL!) Good lord! I have become my grandmother!  :o
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