Why don't I feel elated?

[Lisbeth]

In September I got my new driver's license that says I'm female. I look at it, and it's just a letter. There seems to be no emotion connected with it like there was when I changed my name. Is there something wrong with me that this doesn't seem to make much difference to me?

[vanna]

Hi Lisbeth

Well my view on that would be what is there really to get excited about, you probably identified as female all of your life. A drivers licence is just another document and merely reinforcing that from a legal and social perspective thats all.

We also all have our own motivations, i expect though when you get srs your be singing that one across your town

X

[Northern Jane]

i expect though when you get srs your be singing that one across your town

Even that is hard to say.

SRS, for me, was a life-saver. I wasn't even living FT, not even part-time in the few years before SRS - I had given it up as being too painful, to be a girl and not be complete - and was seriously suicidal in those days before SRS was even possible. Dr. Biber rescued me from that at the last moment and it cost me everything I had to get to Colorado - family, friends, everything I had ever known. The impossible had happened and when I woke up all I felt was relief - the nightmare was over and for the first time in my life I felt peace and unity within myself.

I never did have a feeling of euphoria - it was just the sense that I was finally free.

[Nicky]

For some people it is a physical symbol of recognition for who they really other, for others it is just paper work. I would not get too hung up about it.

[sd]

It's whatever you make of it, for some it is important, for others, not so much.
Maybe you are just being practical about it is all.

[sneakersjay]

For me it was more of a relief -- like now I can prove I'm male to those doubters.  Who's going to argue with the DMV??  Everyone knows you have to bring your birth certificate when you first get your license.  For me it's helped when there have been doubters -- like the guy at the repair place who wanted ID with my check when they didn't ask for it previously, like I couldn't possibly be Jay.

Ha!

Jay

[cindybc]

For me after the surgery and getting the F put on all of my documents was like, wow, I have finally arrived. I am finally who I should have been all my life. Like a final confirmation on a piece of paper but I am grateful to be who I am today, no regrets only a feeling of being free to express the true me. I still feel like the later of this posting, grateful and happy to be who I am, a woman, and I love life.

Cindy   

[Ms Bev]

No Lisbeth,  there's nothing wrong.  Same thing happed to me when I got mine.  It's like standing back from a picture you just straightened on the wall, and saying, "There.....that's better"
Same level of excitement.

The difference, is that it looks right to you now.

Bev

[Lisbeth]

I guess you guys are right, but I always assumed I would be excited and have this "look at my driver's license" experience. Other people have. For me it was, "ya, there's my name and address and an 'F'."

[Sheila]

Everyone has their little quirks. I thought the F on my drivers license was the most important and the most significant. It showed that the state acknowledged me as Female, yes, I all ready knew that but the state and now governments now know. It showed that I, identified as Female and I was Female. The next important step was the GRS. I was who my brain thought I was. Now there was physical proof.

We are all different, thank you very much. I don't like to be like all the rest of you and I'm now and you are not. I think we are very happy girls and boys.

[Northern Jane]

For me it was, "ya, there's my name and address and an 'F'."

I understand the feeling. When I transitioned (back when Methuselah was a boy!) it was not possible to have a birth certificate changed so I didn't bother. Some 30 years later I was going to need a birth certificate and the laws had changed so I finally went for a legal change of name (which was not required under British Common Law, except for a birth certificate!) and had my birth certificate changed.

The feeling was more like "tying up loose ends" than any feeling of triumph ..... the triumph came years earlier.

[soldierjane]

Well, the end of the road is usually pretty quiet and just things fitting together. All the bombast and fireworks have already happened.

Congratulations on the end of transition btw. Savor it, it's your victory

[NicholeW.]

Well, the end of the road is usually pretty quiet and just things fitting together. All the bombast and fireworks have already happened.

Congratulations on the end of transition btw. Savor it, it's your victory

I concur. I know we get in this habit at boards of writing our stuff out here and having everyone else just fall over themselves at our chagrin, disappointment and so forth. Kinda feels like being the star of your own little show.

It seems to me the real show is where you go and how that affects you. Then if you hang around it becomes more a matter of giving insights to those just starting or not far along. You give back, so to speak.

Lis, your enjoyment of your life is more than triple the worth at feeling some "excitement" about a letter on your DL. I mean, for you it's that "tidying up" stuff. The big deal was before. You seem to see that and maybe that "seeing" is better than anything you could have gotten from being "excited." I dunno, but it seems that way to me.

Time comes when we have to see that our lives just simply are. We live them and the excitement is just the excitement anyone else is likely to find in her life; kids get married, someone recalls your birthday and gifts you with their love and affection.

Transition takes a while, I think, to "get over." Getting on with my life seems far more important than ever again "standing out" for not so much an accomplishment, but for putting my life in order.

Nichole 

[Northern Jane]

Transition takes a while, I think, to "get over."

ROFLMAO! Nothing personal but that struck me as funny because my own experience was so different. Of course it helped since there was no 'established path' back then.

After fighting like hell for a decade to be taken seriously, to convince ANY doctor to put me on hormones, and to FINALLY find someone to do SRS, I "got over transition" the day I woke up in the hospital! I gave away the last of my male clothes - which I had because I had to travel in "boy mode" - without even thinking about the fact that all I had was male paperwork to get back into my own country! DUMB!

And I never looked back. I WAS a girl and that's all there was to it.

[Sheila]

I don't think anyone really gets over transition. When I had my GRS, I thought that was the end. No, there was more and I'm still learning and changing my ways. Of course, I transitioned later in life and I would imagine the younger you are the better the transition will take.
Like I said before, we are all different.

[cindybc]

The Never Ending Story of Transitioning and Growth

#1 Transitioning of the physical body
#2 Transitioning of the inner self in congruence to the outer-self.
#3 Transitioning through growth mentally and emotionally.
#4 SRS completing the physical transitioning.
#5 Continued transitioning, inner growth, the merging of body and soul.

Cindy

[iFindMeHere]

The Never Ending Story of Transitioning and Growth

#1 Transitioning of the physical body
#2 Transitioning of the inner self in congruence to the outer-self.
#3 Transitioning through growth mentally and emotionally.
#4 SRS completing the physical transitioning.
#5 Continued transitioning, inner growth, the merging of body and soul.

Cindy

Funny thing is, everyone in the world goes through these stages (save #4 obvy).

[cindybc]

You got it, would someone please pin a rose on the gentleman's lapel.

Cindy

[iFindMeHere]

*smiles and hugs Cindy*