Ell, that's what i'm trying to say just not in so many words lol. it's hard to type a lot when you have a newborn in your hands and are constantly feeding him...lol. and my immediately family to me is my father he has always been there for me and my estranged sisters and mother have medical problems of their own why should i burden them with mine, i don't live with them, and am trying my best to seriously avoid it, all the fighting we use to do was so not healthy for me either. i've been much happier since i moved away from town completely. i've adopted my wife's family as my own(since i'm guessing you're still fairly new to the site you may not have read that post of mine). the rest of my immediately family consists of my wife and a lovely woman i have adopted as our sister and her husband as my brother, there is no in-law in it for me, family is family.
the other thing i'm trying to say is not everyone is going to accept you for who you are, especially family and you should be prepared for that. i'm still trying to be prepared for if and when i may lose my wife and children. i hope and pray that that doesn't happen, but if i'm not prepared for it now, it'll hit me twice as hard later. right now i'm so glad my wife joined the forum and has started posting on here, it's a slow and severely devastating process for most anyone, especially SO's. i'm just trying to politely be prepared, because i even still have the occasional problem at work, but usually most times i'm ok.
i hope that clears things up from my perspective if not feel free to pm and i will explain further.