posting as the child of a trans mother

[Yochanan]

I think I count as an SO, as my mother was transsexual.

Sometimes it gets really confusing. I mean, I'm just starting to make friends at school for the first time in about 5 years, and part of that is having conversations about life: school, work, play, family. Sometimes I just don't know how to explain that I live with one mom (and stepmom) but that I've got another living somewhere else. I tried at first to keep it to myself, which worked for a while, but I've got this girl I talk to a lot and I believe I told her something like, "Oh, yeah, I've got three moms and a dad but it's too complicated to explain." That's just not good enough. I don't know how to explain my family without completely outting my mom every time. I thought of making something up about adoption but that would be too convoluted. I am a very truthful kind of guy, so I don't really want to lie like that, but my back is up against the wall.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this situation? I'll probably talk to my parents about it and ask their opinions (or in Renata's case, how I should avoid outting her), but I wanted opinions from Susan's, too.

Johnny

[Yochanan]

Thanks for the reply, Emme.

I try to be as vague as possible, but it's difficult. If I talk about living with my mom then go on and say, "When I lived with my mom when I was younger..." it doesn't make sense. Even if I mention them different days, I've learned since starting college that when you tell a person something, they remember it. I suppose I'll speak with Renata about it today, but I'm afraid she'll tell me either to do whatever is easiest for me (leaving me still stumped) or that I should say she's my mom and to not mention my other mom or something... *sigh* My family is nuts. Too complicated.

[lady amarant]

You can always tell them your mom (Renata) is a lesbian, so you have more than one mom.

That was gonna be my suggestion as well.

~Simone.

[Anisha]

I say you should tell the truth.If life is like that theres no hiding it..

[Yochanan]

Saying my mom's gay would sort of be the truth. She's with a female, but has told me herself she's more asexual/straight.

I'm hesitant to tell the absolute truth because my mom is completely stealth. No one except her family, people who knew her before, and very, very close friends know about her. I don't think anyone else needs to know, and I don't want her to feel embarrassed or upset.

I still haven't brought it up to her yet. >_<

[jenny_]

I think your right to be hesitant about telling the whole truth about your mum, since her being stealth is her decision.

Its not that unusual for two women to have children nowadays, and I don't think you need to give such details as how you were conceived!

So i agree with Emme and Simone about just saying your mum's gay, since she's with a woman.

[Nicky]

What is your paternal mums take on this?


Another option could be to say you were from a polygamous family that has since seperated...

Dad married mom, then dad left and meet the woman of his dreams (herself hehe) while at the same time getting involved with my step mom....he has since departed leaving me in the care of my two new moms.