Ok another question

[Chrissty]

.. how much is your traumatised mental state due to the built up frustration and increasing need to do something about the way you feel... how much is that already impacting on those you love?

Hi Leia,... I recognised that some time ago... Like Katherine I know that when I feel the way I do at the moment it cannot be hidden, but then our partners often don't want to deal with the truth (even when they know what it is), and so we continue the rollercoaster of winning one day, and loosing the next..

As I've said before, I see this as a balancing how much pain we can stand, against how much pain we are causing. At some point the balance will shift, and I am hoping to use what I learn in my current therapy sessions to be ready with a positive plan of action when it does.

Having said that, there is also a very real risk that therapy may also bring that day closer.

Chrissty

[coolJ]

Hi coolJ

With my Mom passing and almost losing people really close to me I lost the strength I had to repress the inner me.

After my first therapy session last week, realised that my feelings had significantly increased after I had an accident in August last year.... so it would seem that trauma in our lives may act as a trigger and "open the box".... When my father dies (if I make it that far) I am going to have to be very careful.

As far as knowing I cant have it hmmm, the problem is I can have it and my temptation keeps growing.

I attended my first therapy session as a guy, I have my second session at the end of the month.... Today I woke up having a stong temptation to attend the next session en-femme, and we are still only in the introduction phase..



Chrissty

Thats great Chrissty! The good thing for you is you look like a pretty woman! And I agree the trauma unlocked the door and its not gonna shut anytime soon.

And when I read posts like Katherines and Steph's it becomes quite apparent that we've got a loooong road ahead of us!

Theres also one thing more. I'm still a happy and thankful person despite it all and I'm just so darn cool that nobody in my circle has a clue about what I'm feeling. My wife didnt until I told her! Nope I've been pretty good at keeping the truth hidden so I'm not sharing the suffering. At least thats one thing that has'nt changed with me.