gaydar does it exist

[krisalyx]

well over christmas i had two really good instances of gaydar & they both happened the same day the first one when i was trying to buy some last minute presents, this absolutly hotter then hell black girl with boobs the size of mountain ranges, (& yes as far as i can tell they were very real) i mean she just screamed gay to me at least, and then when i was leaving the second time, ok let me try to explain it what seamed to be a normal girl ( & i could just tell that she was not) normal short dress insanely high bootsthat streached all the way up her legs and i kept on looking at her face and thinking there's something not right about her & then i saw her adams apple & thought wow she does a pretty good of passing, so gaydar does it exist or is it just personal fealings.

[Jamie-o]

I think it's just a matter of recognizing mannerisms and speech patterns common within the community.  The real question is, why are those mannerisms and speech patterns so common, even among those who have not come out, and have not spent time in the community?

[lisagurl]

The real question is, why are those mannerisms and speech patterns so common, even among those who have not come out, and have not spent time in the community?

They are learned by desire.

[soldierjane]

I think it's just a matter of recognizing mannerisms and speech patterns common within the community.  The real question is, why are those mannerisms and speech patterns so common, even among those who have not come out, and have not spent time in the community?

I agree, but I don't think it's just an issue of mannerisms. I've known pretty effeminate guys who are straight and quite butchy women who are straight as well. I think it comes from the way you regard something you desire.

I don't know if "Gaydar" per se exists, but I can definitely tell when a boy doesn't like girls or when a girl likes them.

[Osiris]

I've had gaydar since I went into my teens. And it's not necessarily their mannerisms.

Oh oh it's magic!

[Hazumu]

I was having an earnest conversation with a butch lesbian in the local LGBT watering hole, and the topic of gaydar came up.

I had been 'hit on' many times in the Before Transition (BT) past, and wondered if my denied femaleness was setting off others' gaydar.

My conversation partner confirmed my suspicions, saying that trans-in-denial set off gaydar 'big time!' (her words.)

My two cents--

=K

[Rita Irene]

I may get slapped for stereotyping here, but...

Ive noticed that gay men (not TG, TS, etc) just your basic gay male, has a certain look to their mouth. Thats not meant to be perverted, its just the shape or the...something about it.

But, thats just my opinion

[tekla]

I live in San Francisco and I don't know any 'typical gay male' any more than I know any typical ->-bleeped-<-s.

[Zeo]

I never knew my best friend was gay until my friends told me and then he confessed.

Unless being of a nonstandard sexual orientation and gender idenity affects one's perception, I think the whole "gaydar" thing is bogus, especially since it was just recently that homosexuality became so huge in pop culture. I guarantee that 12 years ago we weren't running around being like "LOL gay! I knew all along!" But of course there were just as many homosexuals as there are now.

Oh, and ditto about the San Francisco thing.

[TamTam]

I don't know about gaydar, but I do know that I seem to be lacking it.  Both in the sense that I generally can't tell if someone's gay, and in the sense that other people can't tell I'm gay.

There was a guy who spent an hour talking to me once, and I started feeling a little odd like he might be hitting on me.  So I 'gently' slipped into the conversation that I'm gay.. and he had the most shocked look on his face.  "But.. but I couldn't tell!  Usually I'm so good at this, I can always tell if someone's gay, but I couldn't tell with you!"    Lol.  And that kind of thing's happened before, too.  It actually makes me feel self-conscious when I'm in lgbt groups because it makes me have this weird feeling of being an intruder, which is stupid.

[Pica Pica]

I live in San Francisco and I don't know any 'typical gay male' any more than I know any typical ->-bleeped-<-s.

funny, in london every gay male has the same haircut, the same shirt, the same jeans and the same shoes. You should queue outside the astoria during 'OMO, it looks like toothpaste coming out of a tube.

[tekla]

Oh we have lots of stereotype ones
- the guy with the feather boa mincing down the street
- the ones who look like little lumberjacks who've never been out in the woods
- the leather and jeans look, complete with big ass Harley (to move their big asses around on)

But I know lots who don't fit, and more than one guy who fits one of those who are anything but gay.

[Pica Pica]

this isn't a sterotype, it's a truth. practically every gay in london is a carbon copy of every other. Less so in other cities around the country.

[tekla]

Maybe its the water? 

[Pica Pica]

maybe

[Jay]

this isn't a sterotype, it's a truth. practically every gay in london is a carbon copy of every other. Less so in other cities around the country.

I agree with you Pica they do all look the same. The lesbians are butch well 99.9% are so they
stand out like a sore thumb. The only ones who are hard to read are the bi-sexuals.

Sorry for sterotyping but its true!

[Chaunte]

My observation is that gaydar does exist in some people, but it was not an option I asked for from the factory.  I thought it was RADAR being passed out, and I was waiting for the Doppler upgrade.

Seriously, I know people who are able to read others, thought I can't see a thing.  I also know that I used to show up as an unidentifiable ping on gaydar.  Only 1 person that I know of ever tagged me as being transsexual - and that was before I even started this journey!

http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=42796

[gilded]

Children don't have gaydar. What's strange is that most have TransDar, for sure!

Hell is trapped in a NYC elevator w/ your neighbors when a family get's in on the 30th floor and their kid asks, "mommy, why is that man wearing a dress?"
And all the adults snap their head to stare at you... 28 more floors to go and more stops.
An eternity in hell.

Conversely:
A close friend of mine lived as a girl when he was 15. At 20, his sugar daddy sent him to college as a man then gave him a job in the "no gays allowed" CIA. Totally passable as straight, he reached the rank of a 3 star general* by the 1978.

Recently, I took him to my family gathering for Thanksgiving and by Xmas, all the kids below 10 kept correcting themselves after calling him "mom".

There's nothing "mom" about his behavior or manner.

So all you TGs, get an apartment on a low floor.
----------------------------------------------------------
*Note: His rank was equivalent to a 3 star gen.

- G'gurl

[Arch]

Recently, I took him to my family gathering for T'giving and by Xmas, all the kids below 10 kept correcting themselves after calling him "mom".

Gilded, this is completely off the subject, but when I read "T'giving" in your post, I thought, "Transgiving? WTF is that?"

And then I realized my mistake.

We should start calling Thanksgiving by that name. I would definitely start celebrating it.

[gilded]

Corrected to Thanksgiving
-g