Quote from: Laura Eva B on January 10, 2009, 12:12:13 AM
Call me conservative or bigoted, but I really feel that if a TS woman can't "pass" undetected in a female toilet (or gives off a masculine presence / aura) then she shouldn't be in there.
It is up to other women to judge who or what is acceptable, and who and what they they are willing to accept in a restroom which their pubescent daughters might be using ...
Laura x
Well, let me offer you a perspective from the FTM side of the mirror. When I was younger and thinner and looked more like a young man, I was frequently challenged when I used women's bathrooms. I obviously gave off that "masculine presence/aura" that you are talking about. Even when I opened my mouth and spoke in a voice that was neutral and not quite masculine, I still ran into problems. In other words, I was a female-bodied person who presented as a woman, AND I COULD NOT CONSISTENTLY PASS. Should I have been required to use the men's room?
When they were essentially butch lesbians and before they even began to identify as trans, a number of my FTM acquaintances were similarly challenged. Some were even chased out or refused entry by female users, and I've heard a number of plausible stories about cisgender women who called security or the police. If MTFs should be subjected to the democratic process every time they need to take a leak in a public toilet--or if they should stop using the ladies' room the minute someone challenges them--then masculine women, whether trans or not, should be treated the same. And that's just not acceptable to me. Masculine women and butches who present as women and see themselves as women ARE women, regardless of how others perceive them. Why shouldn't they be able to use the women's restroom without being hassled? And if they should, then what about the MTFs?
As Virginia notes, passing is relative and changeable. A person can be passable in one community but not another. If random restroom yahoos get to decide who gets to use the facilities and who doesn't, things get even more chaotic than they currently are. Unisex bathrooms would solve some, but not all, of these problems. What we really need are sensible guidelines that everyone can rely on, better education about gender issues in general, and a bit more tolerance for people's differences.
To sum up in mathematical terms, "masculine" is not one-to-one and onto with "male." The problem is much more complicated than that.
Just some food for thought.