Travel and the "wrong" clothes

[Jeneva]

How do the non-full timers deal with air travel?  I am NOT out to anyone except my wife so I'm not talking about outer clothing, but rather inner clothing and mismatched inner/outer clothing in the travel bags.  I know it sounds silly to even ask, but she is convinced that they'll drag me away to some secret prison camp if I randomly get chosen for a search.  She is also certain that they will search my bags and tell the world what they find. 

I know I could just pack "normal" guy clothes, but this is my only allowed outlet right now and I'm not sure I can't handle it for the trip duration otherwise.  I know its just clothing, so it shouldn't matter, BUT it does.  On top of the whole coming out to myself and her both of our families have major health problems and work is crazy, I'm barely holding it together right now as is.  She isn't yet ready to talk about my problem without devolving into hysterical sobbing/hyperventilating.  I expect she will come to grips with it in a few more months (she always does this avoidance/denial with a major change), but for now clothes are my only way to step out of the closet and I'm not sure I can deal with closing that door again. 

I was actually looking forward to the upcoming trip because I could totally let down all the barriers and be myself.  Once I got back to my room after dinner I was going to shut out the world and there was going to be nothing external to remind me I wasn't what I was supposed to be.

So is my wife making this out to be too big a danger, or have people actually gotten trouble with security?  Personally I don't even know how the luggage screeners are going to know and the likelyhood of a strip search is minimal and even if I was it would be in private. 

Anyone got any strong opinions or horror stories?

-edit removed some stuff that was potentially hurtful since she is joining

[Dev]

I have been stopped by security before for the random checks at security points.  Never had them go through my bags or me do anything other then pat me down like I was a criminal just off to the side of the security gate.  I just laugh about it normally which I am sure may give them the wrong impression if somebody is having a bad day, but so far nothing past that has ever happened.  (I tend to chuckle a bit normally since that is my coping mechanism).

I don't believe they will search any luggage without a reason to when it goes through x-ray.  At airports I have been to they even use a shrink wrap as an extra security measure to make sure people are not tampering with luggage.

So honestly not sure where the fear of being searched in that much detail came from.  I have been in small and large airports and its always been the same.  I tend to get patted down more in small airports... not sure why I get picked on, I look like an average american but sometimes I seem to hit the security lottery every stop.

[sneakersjay]

I wouldn't worry about clothes.  They're looking for security items.  The thing I'm afraid to travel with are my hard packers.  Those would raise eyebrows as my bags get scanned, and I can't wear them on my person.  I have 2 upcoming trips and not sure what I'm going to do about that.  I'm sure security has seen it all, but still.

My therapist got pulled aside after attending a sexuality conference at which she purchased some huge dildo with a built in vibrator.  She carried it on and yes, they wanted to search her bag.  She said the lady security agent loved it and wanted one. 

Yeah, but what does a guy want with a pink double dildo?!

[Jeneva]

I've only once been pulled aside for even a wanding (and that was my fault for missing something metal in a pocket).  Usually I just sail through like 99% of the others.  I used to fly a LOT more, but this new job is much lower flight travel so I've only flown a dozen times or so since 9/11.  To me it is no big deal, but she is very worried.  I just didn't want to let my overconfidence get me in trouble.

I think a big part of her fear is just a flying fear in general (I've only gotten her on a plane once and she didn't really handle it well).

[Laura Eva B]

Can't comment about clothes as its not an issue for me ... but as long as you consign female stuff to your checked-in luggage you're pretty safe (unless you get singled out for a customs / drugs check in arrivals at an international destination).

However when I travel anywhere for more than a week or so I take a pair of dilators with me, and because I don't like to consign them to the hold they go in my hand luggage.

And you can't believe how many times I've had my bag searched because of them (in both directions for my flight to see my folks this Xmas).

I usually get a quizzical look and (surprisingly) more often than not "are these candles ? ",  perspex candles honestly !!! and I just say "no - medical equipment", leaving the rest to their imagination ...  ...

... try travel with these ...

On the way home from SRS in Montreal a security guy at Pierre Trudeau lifted out my whole set of dilators, unzipped their bag, looked at me and asked "for medical use ? " ... I smiled a bit embarassed and nodded, that was me sussed ... guess he'd seen similar a few times before ...  ... !

But he didn't start jumping up and down and pointing me out to everyone !

Laura x

[Alyssa M.]

If you're travelling alone it whouldn't be an issue at all. Security isn't trying to make a scene. I had a somewhat similar situation (not out, coping and all) for a while and never had the slightest problem, even the time (post 9/11) I lost my wallet on a trip and had to go through much stricter security on the return flight.

[Hypatia]

The new concern is crossdressing terrorist suicide bombers. On the one hand, it shows to what fanatical lengths they're prepared to go now, shaving off the beard, wearing a dress and makeup, just to get past security and detonate themselves in a crowd. This happened in a hotel in Israel. Airplane boarding is different, since everyone has to go through detectors and be scrutinized. But who knows, with the hair trigger mentality these days, if being read as a man in a dress isn't enough to get you spread eagled and handcuffed.

[Laura Eva B]

The new concern is crossdressing terrorist suicide bombers.
...
This happened in a hotel in Israel. 

Understandable paranoia ... ...

And sorry but Israel deserves all the retribution it reaps through its continued genocidal actions ... if ever a so called "nation" actively invites terrorism ...

Guess I'm with world opinion on this one.

Laura

[Alyssa M.]

That was a revolting post, Laura. I don't know what "world" you're living in. I'd think someone from England should know better.

--

Hypatia's comment is legit -- but it's in a particular context; namely, the context of highly patriarchal and gender segregated Muslim culture. Western airports aren't like that. Also, the burqa just isn't my style.

[Hazumu]

hiddenflame;

Where are you traveling to?  Is it in-country, or international?

If it's within the U.S., the TSA agents have already seen it all.  They're looking for bombs, not bras.

If it's checked baggage, mixed-sex clothing in the same bag won't even raise an eyebrow if a human has to open it to check the contents.  The computer on the x-ray tunnel found something and they have to find THAT.  If they find breast forms, big deal.  there are a lot more women with double mastectomies than there are crossdressers.  Again, no eyebrows will be raised.

I've gotten 'secondaried' for the same kind of tools Laura pictured for us (though, I only take the one I'm using and the next size smaller (just in case) on trips.)  What got me in trouble was the metal tube of Surgilube, which broke two rules (over 3 oz of liquid, and not in clear plastic.)

Once the TSA agent identified that it was NOT potentially a bomb, I was on my way.  They did NOT make a big deal of it.  I got the impression they see this sort of thing on a regular basis.

So, if that's not a big deal, the 'wrong' clothes are probably not, either.  If you're going to a country where they might be, then they're your wife's.

Karen

P.S., under no circumstances while traveling refer to a bra as a 'booby-trap.'

[Jamie-o]

Id like to offer one caveat: Be aware of where you're traveling to.  There are places in the world where cross-dressing, and any form of "queer" behavior is illegal.  There are a couple places in Africa where homosexuality is a capital offense, for instance, and there was something in the news a couple months ago about tourists in Dubai being arrested en masse for "inappropriate" dress. 

But, yeah, traveling in most of the western world, it's probably not going to be a problem.

[Eva Marie]

Just be careful what you carry on and check the rest. You'll be fine.

[tekla]

Besides with the way checked baggage is handled, who knows how many interesting places you clothing could go before you see it again.

Don't sweat it. 

[Hypatia]

Don't dismiss these fears, however irrational. With occurrences of cross-dressing terrorists like these, authorities could decide to impose some very real problems on trans women.

• 
  Cross-dressing terrorist 'bride' caught in Iraq



• ->-bleeped-<- Terrorists Taken Down By Iraqi Soldiers



• Cross Dressing Suicide Bomber No Laughing Matter



• Park Hotel Bombing
  "Ouda was dressed as a woman and was carrying an Israeli identity card."
  

Given that airlines these days have hair-trigger paranoia over visibly Muslim passengers, and will throw them off the plane on the slimmest of pretexts, you have to wonder if trans women will be the next suspicious group.