Hi Cheryl,
Being afraid and nervous is part of the process, just be open and honest when you see your GP. Most of us when we started where phased by the same issues as you, especially the whole make up and passing issue and where do I get resources and support.
There is a great deal of information both here and on the internet in general. Look at
transsexual.uk on the Yahoo Groups page and also Nuttykats on the internet. Depending on your age also look at mermaids, which is for young people.
In terms of your appointment, your GP will listen to you, ask you about your feelings and you need to tell him you wish to be refered to a GIC (Gender Identity Clinic). This may be directly or initially through the Physchiatrist in your PCT. Your GP cannot prescribe hormones without authorization from a specialist in Gender disorders.
The NHS route can take time, so be prepared for a long wait for the first appointment to a GIC.
The UK in general follows the HBSOC, which means that you will have to live for a set period of time in the female role and in some cases this may be before hormones or Androgen blockers are prescribed. This can vary depending on what GIC you end up at. Up to two years may be the prerequisite for letters of referal for SRS.
In the meantime look at facial hair removal, speech therapy and look for support groups in your own area.
I used to go out regulary to Leeds and Manchester for support group meetings before and in early transition to talk and learn from other peoples experiences. I was also lucky in having two very close girl friends, who spent hours practicing make up with me.
The issues you talk about below have been faced by many before, me included and I have gone on to lead a fulfilling and happy life. I never thought I could pass, be accepted as a woman, but hormones, Feminising Facial Surgery (FFS), Breast Augmentation have helped change both my own confidence and other perceptions.
Stay strong and determined if this is what you want.
Rebecca
