MtF ~ How feminine was your body shape before HRT ?

[NicholeW.]

OK, Annwyn, drop it. We've all heard you whine as well and not simply in threads that "are meant for it." What she's said is just fine.

That is absolutely enough.

Nichole

[Ceri]

Looking back at my first post, I see that there was a bunch of stuff in my head that didn't make it on to the screen.

Two of my brothers have always had slight builds and often been called effeminate. (One of them is straight, the other a classic closet case.) The other has always been prone to obesity. That split seems to run through both parents' families, at least for the generations I've seen.

Before I first got hammered with lupus, I was tending toward the effeminate-seeming side as well. No idea now how it would have gone.

[Annwyn]

Insecurity is good: it's what keeps us motivated for self betterment.

Making excuses as to why you can't reach a certain goal intertwined with hopeless statements is pretty much securing a resolve against yourself.

Then topping it off by saying, "if only it weren't for -insert paragraph of excuses here-, I'd be doing great, better than others most likely."  It's a slap in the face to the extremely hard work, sacrifice, and diligence most of us have gone through.

There.  It's dropped.

[NicholeW.]

Then topping it off by saying, "if only it weren't for -insert paragraph of excuses here-, I'd be doing great, better than others most likely."  It's a slap in the face to the extremely hard work, sacrifice, and diligence most of us have gone through.

You don't want me to go back and find chapters and verses to show perhaps another side now do you?

Please keep it dropped. Thank you.

Nichole

[barbie]

I know a similar question to this was asked last year, but
it was not asked in this specific way.

The reason I'm interested, is that I have noticed a lot of
comments recently, about so many of you having had a
less than totally male body before starting HRT treatment.

In discussion with my therapist, I've come to realise that
I've not only had breasts, but a less than masculine waist,
hips, and butt all my life. Add to this smaller hands, thin
wrists, and a real problem getting any muscle development
in my arms. If I wasn't 6ft tall, and damn ugly, then I think
I may have sought help sooner.

Suspicion currently lies with my body either having low T,
or a degree of androgen insensitivity, but not to the point
of having a specific syndrome.

One of the questions that came up was whether having
a feminine body as a guy tends to lead to low self-esteem
and re-enforce GID feelings, and to be honest, I think for
me it has.

It just sounds like I share this with more of you than I
first thought, and I would be interested in your views....



Chrissty

Hi Chrissty,

Long time ago, you posted a very interesting subject. I am totally agree with you on this matter. My case is similar as yours.

Some of paragraphs that I wrote about 5 years ago:

This summer I restarted exercising, usually by running because my life
style had been sedentary for about 8 years. I soon noticed that some
people, both men and women, watch my body, primarily legs. Now in
winter, a few people, primarily women, stare or glance at my waist in
stores or other public places.


I remember that my nickname was 'woman' when I was teenager. My old
relatives are used to say that, like my first son, I was pretty. I
vividly remember that I was strangely attached to silk stockings and
high heels when I was about 4 years old. I knew that was not just from
curiosity of a boy. Maybe at age 5, sometimes I felt strangely that I
might have been a woman long time ago and wanted to a woman.


I am not quite sure whether exercising caused any hormone-related
psychological reaction, but I strongly felt that I should explore my
mind deeply. This summer, I got some gender tests through the
internet. I concluded that I am androgynous in both mind and body, and
do not want to be a woman forever, but sometimes I wish I would be a
woman. I have been very good at math, which may indicate manliness.


But, the gender tests are based solely on psychology, not physique. I
am more feminine in body than in mind. I am 6 feet tall and my wast is
just 26". I was used to hide my feminine characteristics until a year
ago. I seldom wore short pants even in the summer, which got some
attention of my American friends here(they nearly urged me to wear
short pants.

Strangely, this summer I felt that I should expose my body more and
make more feminine. At least, my rediscovery of my own feminine
physique escalated this feeling.


Barbie~~

[Ceri]

Now that's very, very encouraging.

[Valerie Elizabeth]

I don't think I looked very feminine at all, rather masculine.  Here are some pictures of me from the last year and a half.


These two pictures were from about a year ago.  They are at the climbing gym I work at.





This picture is a scan of an image from the studio.  Is part of a friends collection of climbers.  It was taken a couple weeks before me starting HRT.




After looking at these pictures, I can already see what HRT has done in two months time.  Breast growth and my areolas are HUGE! 

Anyway, it seems the only pictures that I have that show me with my shirt off, I am slightly sideways and am rock climbing.  Hmm...

[Vexing]

As you can see, I've stacked on the weight; I actually look like a person now, not some gaunt, pallid ghost:

[Nero]

WOW Vexing. whoa. gorgeous legs there.

[Vexing]

Thankies!

[Jennywocky]

My body was actually pretty masculine... except for a few things:

- My face did not have really any strong masculine bone structures (just a bit of brow-bossing but not noticeable) or an adam's apple.
- I had wide hips, not skinny ones.. unfortunately, my shoulders were broader.
- my body is actually very proportional so it makes me look smaller than I really am... so despite having male proportions for some things, I look okay. (i.e., big hands, but I have long fingers... stuff like that).

Basically I went from a 48 men's jacket to a 44 band size. Lost a lot of arm muscle and muscle on my back and shoulders, which helped streamline me. Face padded up nicely. If I just had more hip and a little less shoulder, I'd be better off... right now, I do okay.

[Shryke]

   Hmm, I started hormones at about 18 years old I'd say. Coming out was easy because I had been living as a woman for 2 years without hormones or spiro. My family is rather tall but I only ended up being 5'6. No adams apple at all, I wear a size 6 female shoe, had really small girly hands and breeder type hips with barely any shoulders, and I was and still am thin, I just had wide rounded hips and a butt to match while I was a boy. I even had a woman's voice that makes me sound like I'm 16 even now at 21 when hormonally transitioned. I was confused for a girl my whole life due to my body shape and face structure and when I opted to transition I think my previous appearance kind of made my parents accept transition easier because I looked like a girl already. Still no luckier than anyone else though, because I came out with a penis. =(

     

[Inanna]

Before HRT which I began 6 months ago at 20, I had a hip-to-waist ratio of about 0.75, now around 0.7 (other females in my family are .6 to .7).  My hands and feet are slightly smaller than the average male's, but perhaps slightly larger than the average female's.  My face was fairly androgynous, and now has filled out nicely on hormones.  There's still some masculine traits though, such as a prominent nose which I may get worked on when I have the money.

My shoulders are about 19 inches across and HRT hasn't changed that really (yet).

[Alyssa M.]

I am not quite sure whether exercising caused any hormone-related
psychological reaction, but I strongly felt that I should explore my
mind deeply. This summer, I got some gender tests through the
internet. I concluded that I am androgynous in both mind and body, and
do not want to be a woman forever, but sometimes I wish I would be a
woman. I have been very good at math, which may indicate manliness.

Barbie~~

Okay, as always I love to read what you have to say, and this time is no different -- except for three little things in the paragraph I quoted.

First, fixed with font is for coding, not for communicating! (Well, at least with the Roman and related alphabets.) It hurts my eyes to read it! (Okay, with that off her chest, the Design Nazi is going to be quiet now.)

Second, Internet gender tests? Ack! Those are about as reliable as my sister's Magic 8-Ball I used to ask, "Will I grow up to be a woman?" when I was seven or eight years old. Decide for yourself how to live your own life. (But I gather you are doing fine as is for now.)

And third (which is related to the second point) -- what's this nonsense about math being "manly"? Did you know that over half of the bachelors degrees in mathematics in America awarded today go to women? I'm certain that the disparity in math, sciences, and engineering fields would be completely eliminated in a culture that actually supported women going into those fields as much as men.

[barbie]

Hi, Alyssa,

I got several gender tests including cogiati. Some say I am transsexual, and others say I am androgynous. A few people suggested me to visit and consult with a professional doctor, but I did not, because I believed I can control and manage my own life. I do not need any more gender tests.

Math? I agree with you that nowadays the sexual difference is diminishing. We have many brain games such as chess and go. Nowadays, there are a few outstanding professional female go (baduk) players in my country. Girls tend to be less interested in math once they arrive at puberty. Women generally are better in language than men. Of course, this is just a trend, and there are many exceptions. In the case of America, I am not quite sure, but I guess the trend you mentioned may indicate that American boys have become less interested in math, or departments of math in colleges have became less addractive for getting nice jobs. I once volunteered to help teach math in a American class of 4-th grade about 10 years ago, and the most outstanding student there happened to be a black boy.

When I do research and math, I become less interested in fashion.

Barbie~~

[Vexing]

When I do research and math, I become less interested in fashion.

When I do research and math, I become less interested in life.

[Steffi]

Quote from: barbie on Today at 12:06:13 pm

    When I do research and math, I become less interested in fashion.

Vexing replied:-
When I do research and math, I become less interested in life.

LMAO!   

[Lori]

If a pterodactyl crash landed into a mastodon's butt and they just got fatter and fatter, then you know what I look like. I've been told HRT does miracles though. 

[ZoeB]

I started full strength HRT (8 x initial dose) a few months after the last photo was taken.

[Ceri]

Zoe, that's impressive, and a wonderfully encouraging example this morning. Thanks.