gay crossdressers versus straight crossdressers

[DragonGirl]

You might need more heads to wear all those hats.      Sounds good to me why explain it, sounds like lots of fun.

[Genevieve Swann]

Sounds very normal. I thought we all did that.

[Cyndigurl45]

I am in the 6.6% bi sexual, I have discovered however that I am only attracked to men while expressing my trueself not being male so at first I thought myself strait but after enjoying the company of another woman in the bedroom I am sure I'm bi I like both, I have also on one occasion been on a double date my truself, another woman and we each had a male escorting us now that was absolutly the most enjoyable time I had ever had and I'll leave it at that

[Britney_413]

Common confusion I run into with people (including GLBT) is they fail to separate sexual orientation from gender identity. Additionally, they don't all understand what exactly sexual orientation means either.

I consider myself bi because I am attracted to men, women (genetic or post-op), and non-op/pre-op transsexuals. A lot of people would say that an experience between me and a non-op MTF would still be a gay experience. I don't see it that way. People further confuse gender and sex making the problem worse. While the non-op/pre-op TS would be male by sex (genitals), they would be female by gender. I see people by the gender they present and not by the mere physical attributes. So if I were on a date with a non-op/pre-op TS and I am also presenting as female myself (cross-dressed), that would actually be a lesbian experience. What is "underneath" is irrelevant. The two of us see each other as girls, treat each other as girls, and that is what defines it.

Ultimately what should occur ideally is for people to just stop worrying about labels to begin with. You have the right to be attracted to whoever you want and to present with whatever gender you want and you really don't have an obligation to answer to anyone except yourself as it is your life.

[stacyB]

Wish it were that cut and dried... but for example, what do you make of men who are only attracted to crossdressers and not genetic women? Gay? Straight? Fetish? It goes beyond gender and orientation, as in the case above there is no clear definitive answer I can see.

There is the element of attraction as well. Sexual orientation is only part of the equation, attraction does not necessarily run parallel to orientation. Too often, when we cant define that we throw around the term bi-sexual. But I would postulate that bi-sexual and fetish are two different paths to go by, though not at all mutually exclusive.

Wh do we humans always seem to feel the need to categorize and comparmentalize everything? Nature is chaos, embrace it! 

[Bethany W]

Personally, I'm pansexual and don't understand attraction based on genitals at all and so I'm probably not the right person to comment.. but...
I have a friend who has a saying: "I'm probably bisexual, I just haven't met the right man yet."
So even amongst those that profess themselves straight, there could be some of those sort.

You never know..

I also identify as pansexual

[Diane Elizabeth]

What about those that are neither gay or straight.  Where would you put us?

[tekla]

Well assuming your not both - which is bi or pan (though I doubt that most of the people here who ID as Pan really understand all that's involved in that), then I'm guessing at Starbucks, having a coffee and surfing the web.

[finewine]

The more arbitrary labels we create, the more we confuse.  What's behind the predilection we have for trying to carve up the gender & sexuality spectra into finer and finer slices?  A love of categorizing ourselves and others?  Or a rebellion against other categories by, ironically, creating yet another one?

You want to know my label?  Look in the back of my boxer shorts - that's where I keep it.  Beware, though...I may blow you a kiss.

[Constance]

I can't and won't speak (post?) for others, but for me it's not so much about labels as it is about working within the confines of language to describe myself. Somehow, saying "I am a person" seems incomplete, to me.

[finewine]

Yup, I understand - my issue with too many labels doesn't logically invert into "there should be just one".  It just seems that there's a tendency to "over-rotate" on the labelling front.  How much granularity do we really need?

[Vallin]

I was searching "gay bisexual crossdressers", and I came across this forum (I'm already a member here). One of my best "dates" (o-kay...) was with a bisexual (gay?) crossdresser, and I suppose that went a long way to opening me up to my own bisexuality. I'm bi-genderqueer, usually present male on workdays by default/simplicity, and I'm a "Glam-Rocker" on special occasions (a cross between Freddie Mercury and Chrissie Hynde: HEYYYY...how sexy is THAT?!!)

[janetcgtv]

on several different web sites I had polls about this.
70% Bi
13% herero
10% gay
3% autoerotic
3% asexual

[michelle gee]

All of the Drag Queens I know are gay. Drag Queens usually only dress to perform. Lip sync stuff. Mostly bad performances at that. Most crossdressers would prefer to make dressing as a woman a fulltime experience. Also, most crossdressers are straight. Married men with children and still in the closet. e.g. Herbert Hoover was a crossdresser. Damn he must have made an ugly woman. Probably gay crossdressers do not dress to attract men. That could be dangerous. Any guy who picks up a crossdresser may be trying to fool himself into beleiving he is straight. If they pick up a woman with an additional appendage and they are aware of it, must be bi. Or maybe just horny. "Any port in a storm" as they say in the navy.
Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 05:25:27 AM
Correction: J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B.I. was a crossdresser. Into feather boas I heard. Herbert Hoover was a president.
Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 06:48:43 AM
Statistics of 1159 crossdressers. Straight-48.4%  Straight,bicurious-23.9%  Bi prefer women-10.1%  Straight with Homosexual experience- 7.2%   Bisexual - 6.6%   Bisexual prefer men- 1.6%  Gay- 1.5%  Gay with Heterosexual Experience- .7%     I found that on google.

There are many who say this was not the case or rather no solid proof that this was true.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-j-edgar-hoover/2011/11/07/gIQASLlo5M_story.html

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2423/was-j-edgar-hoover-a-cross-dresser

[Dani Davis]

Bi but with only a couple of experiences with men under my belt.  (So to speak.)

[Felix]

What about a cisgender female heterosexual child who persistently dresses like a drag queen? Is that a thing? Like, every female toddler (and some males) I've ever met has dressed like a drag queen, and apparently they don't always grow out of it. I normally would not even try to classify this, but anyone who meets my kid either points it out on their own or strongly agrees when it is mentioned. For some people, it is a true and intentional gender performance, but the fact that toddlers are into something very similar highlights how it is an exaggeration of social standards for femininity. Glitter and sequins and long gowns.

[Feather]

Yes, heterosexual crossdressers are far more common.

I think both groups have similar goals.. ie. giving space to one's femininity. Maybe in different ways.. I don't know many gays.. and the ones I know I'm not aware that they crossdress. Maybe they often just don't do it then, because if you're gay it's probably easier to admit that you crossdress? It seems more acceptable for a gay to express femininity.

[mac1]

Why are cis-males still viewed as "cross dressers" or "drag queens" when sis-females are openly accepted as women no matter what clothes they wear.  Also, why can openly cis-women freely use the men's public restrooms without fear of prosecution while openly sis-men are unable to use the women's public restrooms withour incident?

[Feather]

Why are cis-males still viewed as "cross dressers" or "drag queens" when sis-females are openly accepted as women no matter what clothes they wear.  Also, why can openly cis-women freely use the men's public restrooms without fear of prosecution while openly sis-men are unable to use the women's public restrooms withour incident?

I think the latter has a lot to do with man on average being more (sexually) aggressive and physically capable of dominating a woman.

As for the dressing part.. I totally agree. It would be great if males could wear whatever they like.. masculine or feminine. We've seen females adopting male clothes although they tend to give their own feminine spin on it that accentuate the feminine shape. Jeans being originally a male cloth but make them tight and a feminine shape is emphasized. Similarly, males are allowed to wear things considered feminine such as necklaces. But if it's a thin necklace or if it has a 'cute' symbol as a hanger it may be frowned upon and considered feminine. Males may wear tight clothes but if you're not muscular it is again often frowned upon.

This is all very interesting because there are ''male to female crossdressers'' who don't just want to wear feminine clothes.. they want to feel like a female totally. For myself, even if feminine clothes were completely acceptable as a male I would still be disappointed. I don't just want to wear feminine clothes because it's nice, but also because it makes me feel less a male and more happy to look more like a female.

[echo_artist]

All of the Drag Queens I know are gay. Drag Queens usually only dress to perform. Lip sync stuff. Mostly bad performances at that. Most crossdressers would prefer to make dressing as a woman a fulltime experience. Also, most crossdressers are straight. Married men with children and still in the closet. e.g. Herbert Hoover was a crossdresser. Damn he must have made an ugly woman. Probably gay crossdressers do not dress to attract men. That could be dangerous. Any guy who picks up a crossdresser may be trying to fool himself into beleiving he is straight. If they pick up a woman with an additional appendage and they are aware of it, must be bi. Or maybe just horny. "Any port in a storm" as they say in the navy.
Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 05:25:27 AM
Correction: J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B.I. was a crossdresser. Into feather boas I heard. Herbert Hoover was a president.
Post Merge: February 23, 2009, 06:48:43 AM
Statistics of 1159 crossdressers. Straight-48.4%  Straight,bicurious-23.9%  Bi prefer women-10.1%  Straight with Homosexual experience- 7.2%   Bisexual - 6.6%   Bisexual prefer men- 1.6%  Gay- 1.5%  Gay with Heterosexual Experience- .7%     I found that on google.

I got scared when you said Hoover, lol. But those were some fun facts.