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Cross Dressing or dressing for the target gender.

Started by cindybc, February 06, 2009, 01:49:57 PM

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iminadaze

Just to be certain that I am not misunderstood,

I do not have anything against people who switch between gender roles,
whether it be by clothing, expression, attitude, etc...

I just wish there was a better word to use besides 'cross dressing'

It sounds so forbidden, and as strange as it may sound I would be more
offended being called a cross dresser than I would being called a transsexual...
but I don't like to be called that either....reality bites  :(

Sorry Cindy James if you thought I meant something else.  :icon_flower:
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cindybc

Hi Nicol, I understood what you said. But you are right, some here  have got a mite hot under the collar on the subject of cross dressing and thank you for coming back to explain. It is a topic that needs discussing and I do pray that there are no misunderstanding, so that we may continue the discussion.

Since we are aware that this topic could be like walking on thin ice we all need to tread easy, at least until someone can come up with some more trans appropriate labels. Even the word transsexual has been kind of trashed by the media.

I believe that the labeling should be left up to the professional medical researchers. at least you could count on them coming up with some antiseptic word to be added to the medical dictionary that would be a mile long and takes you a day or two to untangle the tongue after trying to wrap your tongue around it. There would be no way of missing that word as being unique to trans people.   ;)

Cindy 
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BunnyBee

I dunno about leaving the naming up to the researcher types.  They are to blame for "transsexual" (ick) and many of the others.  The problem with the labels, besides being silly labels, is they are too clinical sounding, imo.

This is marketing, baby.  We need a better image and it all starts with branding.  What we need is a cute name, and I believe this task should be given to poets, or writers of beautiful prose- not nerds in labcoats.

Not that I have anything against nerds.  In fact I find them cute as hell :P.
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paulault55

Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it? No now that I'm in transition for me cross dressing would be if i dressed as him. Even when i have to be him i wear woman's jeans, sneakers, clear polish, rings, etc, you get the idea. I'm a little more than androgynous in appearance.

Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused ? No

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side? Doesn't matter how I'm dressed my feminine side is there 24/7.

Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?  Yes and after a not so wonderful night out too.

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal? Yes and woman's clothes are more fun and colorful, guys clothes are dull.

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting? Absolutely, i worry if I'm going to pass but never have any problems.

What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you resent? I think it's really important, it allows me fit in better.




I am a Mcginn Girl May 9 2011
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SarahS

Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it?
No.  I dress because it lets me outwardly present the image I feel inside.

Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused
No.  That's not to say I have not been sexual while dressed.

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side?
In a way I suppose.  I think I am always "in touch" with my feminine side, dressing lets me express it more and maybe feel more female.
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Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?
Oh yes.

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal?
Yes.

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting?
I try to be, though am certainly not passable.


What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present?   As much as I would like to dress as a cute 20 yo, I know that I can't!  LOL.

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cindybc

Jen
QuoteThis is marketing, baby.  We need a better image and it all starts with branding.  What we need is a cute name, and I believe this task should be given to poets, or writers of beautiful prose- not nerds in labcoats.

I do so agree. Wasn't aware it was the researchers that came out with the present labels we have to begin with, but anyway that was what I meant. We need something that is unique and can't be misinterpreted except for what they presently label as M to F trans. transforming into having body and soul congruent to one another. At peace with who we are.

Cindy
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: cindybc on February 06, 2009, 01:49:57 PM
Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it?

Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side?
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Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal?

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting?

What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present?

Anyone care to give any tips and suggestions?

Cindy

This is obviously a ->-bleeped-<- aimed thread as transsexuals do not 'dress' to get sexually exited or for a thrill. My clothes are my everyday clothes and I don't wear male clothes or have thoughts about clothes in general.

I present as female at all times for many years and to me it's natural and instictive, but then again I'm not a ->-bleeped-<- so I find the thread quite insulting by appearing in the M to F section.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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tinkerbell

Cindy, if a person has a female neurological gender identity (female mind/brain), and she wears the attire of her gender identification...is that "cross-dressing"? ;)


tink :icon_chick:
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cindybc

Hi Tink hon  :icon_wave:

Nope we are who we knew ourselves to be within from earliest age in memory.

I separated the two categories with a dotted line above, is CD oriented questions, and below is TS. I sometimes wonder if anyone truly knows the difference and it appears that all who have responded to this thread know the difference.

Just speaking for myself I would classify myself an alien in a strange land under the TG umbrella, just as much as having transitioned from TS to woman, except that I do know what having been TS is about because I have experienced the GID before in my past anatomic history.

Cindy
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: Tink on February 25, 2009, 07:41:05 PM
Cindy, if a person has a female neurological gender identity (female mind/brain), and she wears the attire of her gender identification...is that "cross-dressing"? ;)


tink :icon_chick:

Not at all Tink and you are absolutely right. I've never been percieved as a cross dresser and wear my normal everyday clothes which are female. 

There seems to be many people confused as to wether they are a ->-bleeped-<- or transsexual. I think this thread should be in the ->-bleeped-<- section.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Sephirah

Considering the nature of the questions, and the depth of responses, I think there's very little confusion. Quite the opposite, actually. I think the thread is rather clarifying, and fine where it is.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Genevieve Swann

Dress because it is very enjoyable and it definitely allows me to be in touch with my feminine side. Wish I could do it daily. Mostly I dress according to my age (54) however, I did go out once recently in a miniskirt and fishnets. Genevieve

imaz

Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it? - Sure, why not!

Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused - To do that to others sometimes!

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side? - Not really, don't need clothes for that.

Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out? - Don't get the question...? What's "drab"?

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal? - The so-called target gender dresses in many different ways, there is no normal way for anyone to dress IMO.

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting? - Never serious about most things. :)

What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present? - Couldn't care less!

Anyone care to give any tips and suggestions? - Sure, dress to feel good and make others feel good whatever that may be. For example at the moment I'm at home wearing a really beautiful Indonesian sarong from Kalimantan (Borneo), it's very feminine, dark purple, indigo blue with stylised pink and purple flowers. It happens to be a man's tube sarong (!), so is that cross dressing or just being comfortable?

It doesn't matter IMO, any man could walk into any Mosque in Indonesia wearing a sarong like this and no one would even notice. Everything is subjective.
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Elizabeth K

I saw this topic and read through it.  I was going to pass on a reply as it had some things in it that I didn't think were worded in a way to get a valid response.  Then I noticed, Cindy, you were following the postings fairly closely so it seemed a reasonable thing to toss in a few opinions.

I am MTF and transitioning, and finishing my third month, so I am not anexpert by any means on the transitioning part.  I DID crossdress for over 50 years and so I can address that.  I also have a very good friend who claims to be androgyne so we have discussed a lot of the quetions you cover, just in working her through the idea if she is or isn't really transsexual.  Here goes:


Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it?

Easy answer - no, I stopped "cross dressing" when I found out my true nature was transsexual, and I went through my cross dressing wardrobe with a new understanding and removed all the clothing and items I felt were not appropriate to me as a woman.  I have determined to dress appropriately for my gender, my age, for modern styles, and for the seasons.  Its fun to finally be able to dress as I want, yes.  I am thrilled to be able to dress as I see myself.  But I dress and forget I have on anything else except what I feel is appropriate.

Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused.

I will admit, when I started puberty, I would become aroused when dressed.  But it was because I saw myself in the correct gender at last, and it was exciting to think I was actually female enough appearing to pass and attract male attention.  I never thought to masterbate when I was younger and dressed - that came after I left college.  As I started what I thought was cross dressing at age eight, there was no arousal at first.  There is no arousal now.

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side?

No I dress to express myself as female, my birthright.  There is no real feminine side to me, only me as a person.  I feel more feminine when dressed appropriately, but its not the reason I dress.

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Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?

I don't really understand this question as I never have 'a wondeful time out.'  I can say when I have to dress Monday morning in what I affectional now call 'male drag,' it hurts.  I am out at work to my bosses, but because of job concerns I am asked to be subtle.  I am really awaiting the HRT to finish its work so I can remedy this.  I dress appropriately and go out.  But it is not to display, its to buy groceries or mail a package.  I do try to look nice at restaurants and such.

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal?

Target gender?  I dress as a woman because I am a woman.  The male body I live in is under remodel.  Feel more normal?  My mother would dress in old jeans, boots and sweatshirts to work in the yard.  She would dress in slacks and blouse and comfortable shoes to clean the house.  She would put on a better grade of clothing to go to the store,and add a little color to her face.  Thats normal.  That's how I look at normal.  I don't have a target gender I suppose, as I am me.

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting?

Do I want to be considered a woman when I dress?  Yes.  Do I like being mistaken as male?  No.  I would be a fool if I didn't want to be considered an attractive woman, I mean that is what a woman likes to be.  So I try to make certain the cues are there.  I just want to be a woman and not a curiosity.

What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present?

Absolutely essential.  Plus women will defend a well dressed T-woman who is doing her best to be a credit to her gender.   Dressing as a tart or as a sex-pot will get the scorn of womankind regardless of who is doing it.  Women dress to impress other women and to feel good about ourselves. 

Anyone care to give any tips and suggestions?

Yes.  Buy good quality clothing and accessories.  Dress appropriately , and if you need to, watch all those women around you about your age and social level to see how to dress and act.  ALWAYS be neatly groomed.  Smile as you are a beautiful woman and proud of it.  No person but you can bring you down.  It is your birthright to be yourself

Elizabeth

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cindybc

You answered all the questions fairly closely as I would have.

The questions were geared for beginners and others who claim and believe they are TS but may be a little confused as to what being TS, GID and what transitioning to be the target gender truly entails.

Target gender, simply means the gender you are transitioning to be.

It is easy to become mired or confused in the terminology of being TS and other terminologies such as you will encounter in other classifications under the TG banner.

In drab means to be dressed in male clothes.

Cross Dressing is to cross dress from female to male clothes or from male to female clothes. Being transsexual I believe we all did the cross dressing thing up until the time we come out and live full time dressed for the proper gender we present.

To dress in the gender we present can be in jeans and sweat shirt and rubber boots for working in the back yard. Heck, I love working in the back yard, I have seen me work in the back yard wearing such garments as sweat shirt jeans and rubber boots well as a sun dress when pushing a lawn mower during the hot weather.

Going into town for appointments or grocery shopping or going to meetings of course I'm like any other red blooded Canadian girl, I love dressing up nice like. We just dress for what ever the occasion is. It's nice to make some men's heads turn as I walk by for an old bird like me that is good ;D 

Like for me this was one of the things that tore me apart, having to switch back to male mode, in drab, after living 70% of the time as female. It got to the point of being suicidal and this was where I came out full time.

The final part of our physical transition from TS to be as much a woman as medical science can make you comes in the form of SRS our friend GID will not relent until we have gone through all of the phases of transition including the final process of psychological transition.

Cindy
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imaz

Not all male clothes are that bad.

I do draw the line however at suits, shirts and ties and at dressing male to go to a club etc.

That said I did dress up in a suit and cut cut my hair short for the first time in my life last summer. Got married in a Muslim country in front of 1,000 guests with a proper traditional religious ceremony (Akad Nikah). Had a "choice" of a suit or being bare chested Javanese style, the suit seemed the safer option! ;D
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placeholdername

At this point I feel kind of gross if I *don't* have at least one piece of feminine clothing on.  I don't have a whole lot though so it's hard.  Luckily a bunch of new stuff is coming in the mail tomorrow.  I really love sales.
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imaz

Quote from: Vesper on March 10, 2009, 06:58:59 PM
At this point I feel kind of gross if I *don't* have at least one piece of feminine clothing on.  I don't have a whole lot though so it's hard.  Luckily a bunch of new stuff is coming in the mail tomorrow.  I really love sales.

I do, a Javanese male sarong!
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lisa_a

A label thread, how fun. But now that I've written this I notice the thread is quite old. So I'll just go ahead and post this-and see, as there is some things that have not been written, so maybe I'm different. Then it is probably a good idea to post this. But generally I find these questions to be difficult. Since I feel there is multiple answers to each question. And not one thing that is constant. As reasons and feelings change. So this is just what popped down in my head.

So first my short answers, then the long ones, explanations you can say(more serious and depressed).

Do you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it?

Fun part was way higher when I as a teenager, not so much now. Mostly comfort.
Do you cross dress to get sexually aroused
Nope, but might be aroused if dressed.

Do you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side?
Just that the clothes I use fits better
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Do you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?
Hmm-usually use mens clothes, read pants, when it is needed for preservation of some peoples feelings. I do find it difficult to change just for this. Maybe pointless, like why, something like that.

Do you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal?
Yes, it is a question of comfort.

Are you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting?
Try to, but my weak colorvision make me often mismatch things. But try my best.

What is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present?
I dress casually, in a feminine way. Mostly skirts-that is so liberating-and my right has always been stolen. I find on womans forums that my taste is often the same as most. Like shorter skirt means thicker pantyhose. Things like that, I follow those rules as they make sense to me.


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QuoteDo you cross dress just for the thrill or the fun of it?
I dont really crossdress. I use clothes, what fits best for me. Fun is always important. But that is just to figure out what. That is forgotten when I am dressed. But I can spontaneously laugh if my skirt swirls around me, by wind or just the fabric. The sensations does good for me.
QuoteDo you cross dress to get sexually aroused
First time I masturbated was not in woman clothes. And I have used those as long as I can remember. But I did find out somewhere that orgasms came easier if I was dressed. And related to that part I discovered was that for a few hours after having orgasm, I did not mind being around people, and so aware of my gender issues. So i'd be able to function. So I always do an orgasm before I go out to meet people. Then I am much more pleasant and relaxed. And I stay disconnected from the body. But oh, is it tiring..

But generally I cant remember that dressing pretty have made me excited. That only happens when I sit down and start to fantasise. And to get excited I need to have a certain feeling, Clothes help get this feeling, like a catalysis. With other people it is usually only if I sense that they truly are exited with ME, the mental connection. I'm very little concrete in this regard. But I like having orgasms. I thought for the longest time, I discovered on this board that this was not the case, that I would loose my ability to have orgasm if I transitioned. And sometimes that is the only thing that make me get past the days. It is quite normal for me to nothing else the whole day, maybe up to 10 times. The penis might be bleeding, but don't care about that. It is like a decease at times. It is also that I am afraid of the testosterone working on my body. So if I continue doing this it does not work on my body, but goes out instead.

I notice that when I am on these boards, and others and there is interesting discussions. Then this masturbation feeling mostly go away, and I can stay away from it for maybe days. That is a wonderful feeling. I'm probably coming of as a perverted ->-bleeped-<- now. But that is just the way it is. I have to do this, and way to often, to get it out of my system. The actual orgasm I enjoy, since it is an electric thing that go through my body, I can feel it in my toes, fingers and everywhere. The ejaculation is kind of pathetic, it just comes out a little. I'm seriously unsure if it even works properly. And the hours after it is like bliss.

   
QuoteDo you cross dress to get in touch with your feminine side?

Never thought about it like that. I usually go out to monitor other peoples reactions. To find out what people notice, what they don't notice and so on. And feel disgust about, generally what is normal and what is not. I just know what clothes I like, so the rest has to do with other people. And then me finding a compromise.
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QuoteDo you find it difficult to go back in drab after a wonderful time out?

Clothes are clothes, but it is something you use every day of your whole life. So I am under no illusion that it does not have a huge impact on you as a person. But for most people I think lots of these things go past in the unconsciousness, but the impact is just as big-they dont seem to have the awareness-since they have not been confronted with it-and that is usually what make you thing about stuff. And this is an awareness that is very unhealthy for me at least-it is not how it is supposed to be, this I have found out from observing other people. I have some men clothes I really like. But I don't have much mens clothes left. As male clothes I normally just use some addidas jogging pants, or something similar. They are practical, but I dislike them none the less, since I don't think they are pretty. And I think they make me more ugly then I really am.

QuoteDo you dress as the target gender because it feels more normal?

Yes, that and they hide and enhance on the right places. Like I have a slim waist. And all male clothes I've tried I swim in. Clothes should fit, that is the most important thing in my opinion.

 
QuoteAre you serious about your appearance in the target gender you are presenting?

I'm serious in the way that I try not to be offending. And I hope that the first impression give the other one a good feeling, something pleasant to put their eye on. That is always what I try to do. I don't have any other agenda. I like to feel sexy also. They can make sexual connections. But then they are on thin ice and must be very careful for not scaring me away. I try to not give of sexual vibes, but still be pretty. So I guess there should not be a open sexual connection before they have managed to take my dress of. I notice there is girls that play openly on sexuality. I don't do this. But maybe I could if I was more secure. It does look like those that do have fun with it.

   
QuoteWhat is your opinion on dressing properly according to your age for the gender you present?

Well, I'm 31, I look at those the same age as me. And I find that most of those that have same taste as me in clothes dress similar. I'm more modest. I don't use skirts just below the ass. Or pants showing everything. Almost like pantyhose without a skirt. I don't mind them doing it. But I would not do it. Some things are pretty, some are not. Seems to be fairly universal, I go for the pretty things. Other people have different agendas. I'd probably change if I go through with this, and want more. But so far, all I need is for people to relate to me, that is all I ask. And for that to happen I guess I need to change what is between me and the clothes. Or maybe I can say the first set of clothes, throw those and get some appropriate.

Maybe one comment on the end. I dress approximately 50% for my self and 50% for others when I can. As I actually like and enjoy dressing with a feminine style. Something I notice lots of ordinary woman dont do, but not all, many dress mostly for others it seems. So even if I am alone, i'd like to look pretty. But comfy first.

I have lots of clothes in my closets, but just some few of it I use regularly-and my style has been remarkably similar the whole time. I even have a good portion of sexy lingerie that I have gotten on impulse. But never use it. I have tried garterbelt and stockings under the skirt outside a few days. But I dont know. It was fun the first time. But I've found it is no point when no one can appreciate it or know about it. So much prefer a normal thick pantyhose. I like the idea of having them though, since I hope I will mature one day, to use these stuff, but still I feel like a child,  but maybe someday I'll grow up :)

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Lisbeth

I don't cross dress. I dress appropriately for my female gender.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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