Coming out to all those random people...

[icontact]

So there's a cafe that's right by my school that I go to often, and the man and woman who work there still call me miss, ladies, etc. I don't know how to come out to them, because I don't want to hold up the line, but it really bugs me seeing as I'm out to every except them.

Only idea I've got is to go early in the morning one day when there's fewer people there and hope that there's no line.

Any other suggestions?

[Julie Marie]

Guy it up as much as possible. Develop a swagger.  Broaden your shoulders.  Men take up a lot of space, the maximum allowable by law.  Do the same.

If you want to do it verbally it's going to be tough while you're in a line holding everyone up.  You'll only get them mad.  The early morning thing sounds like a good idea.

Julie

[myles]

I think the early morning thing sounds good. I would do a soemthing like hey I'm a guy and have a nice day, or something so they aren't totaly embarrased about being wrong on all the other days and get the idea. If you plan on going there everyday and think they are excepting you just want to set them straight but not be an a$$ about it.
Only one opinion
Myles

[Camden]

Sometimes I just say something like "3 ladies and a gentleman" and laugh it off. Usually people seemed to be thrilled you aren't upset with them for making the mistake.

[icontact]

But it's not so much of a mistake, as I've been going there for a couple years, they've seen me in my old tight shirts, breasts quite prominent. So they def. know what's going on.

[Janet_Girl]

Maybe try the old crush their hand when shaking it.  Guys seem to like doing that.  And like Julie said take up space.  Lots and lots of space.

Janet

[Ell]

i was told "thank you, sir" the other day, and instead of correcting the guy, i just smiled and said thank you.

i don't know if i'm going to bother correcting people anymore. why must i insist that they play by my rules? i think i'd be less interested in hearing a sarcastic "ma'am" than an honest "sir."

[Luc]

You know, I've wondered about this sort of random not-so-passing thing... especially considering that at the moment, I'm living in the small town where I went to high school, and everyone here always knew me as female.

Really, the best solution I've come up with is just not to say anything. That said, I tend to avoid the places where I know people will call me "ma'am" or call me by my birth name. The really funny thing to me is, people I knew for 10 years now look at me and don't recognize me, and call me "sir." Those who do recognize me don't say my birth name... they're just like, "Oh hi, you, I haven't seen you in awhile!"

Depending on what type of people the folks at your cafe are, there are a couple routes to take, as I see it. If they're very nice and understanding, I'd say you probably ought to just pick a time when they're not too busy to explain that you're transitioning to male, and their calling you "ma'am," etc., is embarrassing. If they're not, I'd say either avoid the place, or do what others have suggested: just try to be as masculine as possible, and hopefully they'll get the point.

SD

[hayden.]

difficult situation.
i don't think they need an explanation (just my personal opinion).
i'd just correct them quickly and say, "that would be sir."
or something of the sort.