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there's only one thing that holds me back from transitioning.

Started by hayden., February 16, 2009, 05:57:02 PM

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Chamillion

Quote from: Mister on February 16, 2009, 08:29:40 PM


On a personal note, if I didn't feel I could pass well and assimilate into the male population, I wouldn't have transitioned.
Seriously? I can't speak for anyone else, but for me at least, transitioning is about being more comfortable in my own body instead of trying to fit someone else's mold of what I should or shouldn't be. Anyway, don't worry about height man. Like someone else said, Jacob is only 5 feet and I really doubt any random person would think he was a trans-guy. Even if he was standing next to a bunch of 6 foot tall guys. Personally I like being small, although I'm a bit taller, about 5'5.
;D
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Mister

Quote from: Chamillion on February 16, 2009, 09:33:00 PM
Seriously? I can't speak for anyone else, but for me at least, transitioning is about being more comfortable in my own body instead of trying to fit someone else's mold of what I should or shouldn't be. Anyway, don't worry about height man. Like someone else said, Jacob is only 5 feet and I really doubt any random person would think he was a trans-guy. Even if he was standing next to a bunch of 6 foot tall guys. Personally I like being small, although I'm a bit taller, about 5'5.

Well, it sounds to me like you're much less binary minded than I.  I'm not knocking your views here, but since I didn't do so well navigating the world as a woman, I'd have been pretty upset if i'd dedicated the time & energy into an ineffective transition.  Just ask some of the dudes who have been on T for years and don't pass.  i'm sure they'll tell you their transition hasn't be all roses.
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jet3

I feel like this thread has turned into more of a debate or an argument, rather than a thread to give advice to the guy who asked for some help.  Everybody is going to have their own opinions, but a lot of these posts sound very negative.  Maybe I am alone in my opinion, but I think it would help more if we try to be a little more positive.  Height is just one aspect of an individual, and I honestly don't think it should make anyone more of less of a man.  :)
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Aiden

Quote from: jet3 on February 16, 2009, 11:35:46 PM
I feel like this thread has turned into more of a debate or an argument, rather than a thread to give advice to the guy who asked for some help.  Everybody is going to have their own opinions, but a lot of these posts sound very negative.  Maybe I am alone in my opinion, but I think it would help more if we try to be a little more positive.  Height is just one aspect of an individual, and I honestly don't think it should make anyone more of less of a man.  :)



Besides some think small guys are cute :P
Every day we pass people, do we see them or the mask they wear?
If you live under a mask long enough, does it eventually break or wear down?  Does it become part you?  Maybe alone, they are truly themselves?  Or maybe they have forgotten or buried themselves so long, they forget they are not a mask?
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Cindy

There is enormous variation in size in both male and female. 5 foot isn't below normal as compared to average hight for a male. I'm transing form male to female. I'm 5ft 7" weigh 55kilos, always have as an adult. I'm physically tiny as a guy, no male has ever said anything disparaging. OK your not going to be a linebacker, but you will pass as a guy, grow a beard always helps. People say to themselves, there's a small guy who has grown a beard to look older. Bet he shaves it off later makes him look to old.

Have fun Bro

Cindy James
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Benjamin

Hayden,

You'll be fine.

My bio-male spouse and I are the same height -- short!  Our best friend (also, bio-male) is an inch shorter than us.  We all get along in life just fine -- even side by side with several of our 6' friends.

T has changed my voice and appearance so much that I pass 100% of the time.

Ben

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christov

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Jay

T will do wonders and you will just be seen as a short man. I know many "small" guys..


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icontact

Quote from: xchris flynnx on February 17, 2009, 12:07:39 PM
Bah I'm 5'2 and a half.

Short guys rule
LOL

Aye, same here, but I've still a couple years to be growing before my bones are supposed to close theoretically. Not like I'm expecting it to do much. I've grown about one inch in three years. :( Eh. I don't mind my  height as is, I'm well proportioned, and unless I got fat/more muscular, getting taller would just give me that deathly tallnskinny look which I dread.
Hardly online anymore. You can reach me at http://cosyoucantbuyahouseinheaven.tumblr.com/ask
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Ellieka

I am 5'4" and I have been since I was 16. I have never had my gender questioned before I came out. I was always "the short guy" but I was never treated as anything other then a male. I got called gay a lot but that was due more to my mannerisms then any thing else.

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Ender

Just thought I'd throw in: I had a professor last semester who was somewhere around 5'1" or 5'2".  None of the students questioned that he was male just because he was short.
"Be it life or death, we crave only reality"  -Thoreau
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Mister

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Mr. Fox

Quote from: Mister on February 17, 2009, 06:44:50 PM
I never said that men weren't short, people.

Um, nobody's mentioned you for a while.  I think people are just trying to make the guy who started this thread feel better.
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hayden.

i thank you all whole-heartedly for your input, truly.

i didn't make this topic to 'feel better,' i made it for honest insight.
i appreciate what you have to say, mister.



being short just sucks - period. nothing that can be done.
it just makes me question transitioning; it's hard to be taken seriously when you're that small.
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Jack Daniels

hayden i completely with you on this, but at the welding school(nothing but men) I attend, there are 2 guys shorter than me, and one guy is as tall as me. And Im the same height you descibed, barely 5 ft. And the dude I hang out with the most at school is 6 freakin 5. 6'5. 6 ...... 5.  Its tough but crap, not much to do. Remember, me and you are the same height. I mean theres always height surgeries and what not, they probably only give a couple of inchs but its better than none I suppose.
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sneakersjay

I work with the public and one night I had a very TALL couple come in (both were at least 6', the guy had to be 6'5") and then had the shortest couple, the man had to be 5' and the woman 4'10".  I'm at a conference and there are a ton of short guys here.  I'm 5'3" and I've seen at least 3 gentlemen shorter than I am.  I wouldn't let height stop you.  Men come in ALL sizes.


Jay


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Mr. Fox

Quote from: Andrew on February 16, 2009, 07:50:24 PM
If you don't mind me asking, are you gay, straight, or bi? The shortness might actually help your case if you like guys - a significant subset of the gay population is totally into small, boyish guys.

There are girls who don't care as well, although probably few who will find you extra cute as a result.  So even if you're straight, you can get a date, although you may not be wooing people of the correct sexual orientation left and right with your adorable cuteness left and right like I surely will (egotistical me!).  Overall, it's probably better to be short than ugly.  If you're also ugly, just be betting on that great personality.
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perfectisolation

It could help you to pass better to have more of a presence, or try presenting more effectively as male, than worrying about your height or the size of your hands and feet.
my dad is about 5'3 but he definitely seems taller and bigger than he is because of how he speaks and acts. and he has very small feet. lol
also chances are that T will help widen your arms, hands and feet and weightlifting helps with that too.
and yes there is a lot of variation between male and female traits. there are men with feminine hands. there are really tall women. there are men with wide hips. there are women with manly faces. etc.
but in the end. we are all people with unique personalities before we are genders. and folks are out there who are perfectly fine with having trans friends or trans lovers. so who cares if some stranger thinks you might be trans because you're a little guy.
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Lachlann

I know I'd be considered one of the 'taller' FTMs because I'm 5'7", but in my area the women are just giants(must be the chemicals). Before I used to be so self conscious about my height but then I realized that people don't really care as much about that as they care about how you present yourself. Not only that, but being short can have advantages.

You might need a ladder for some things and you might not look necessarily intimidating by your height alone, but generally speaking, the shorter you are the longer you can potentially live because your body doesn't have to work so much, getting everything out and in to your body. If you're skinny or fit, you'll probably be quicker, not necessarily faster.

I kind of like being on the short side. It makes me feel a bit unique and I think it'll look cool on me, when I start working out on T, to be that shorter guy with the muscles.

It's really just about your presentation. Don't do the small man syndrome, that wont help, just be you. The man that you are and no one will doubt.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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J.T.

you'll be fine... the only issue you'll have the first couple of years is everyone thinking you're a kid.

i'm really short and it sucks but it didn't even cross my mind as a reason to not transition.
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