What am I?

[Seth]

Stumbled across this site through Google, skimmed the rules and regs, and have found that everyone seems pretty friendly and knowledgeable here. So I know guys reputedly don't do this often, but I guess I'm asking for directions, in a way. For now, I'm not sure what I would be categorized as, but I found this sub-board is as close as I can get.

I have read the Glossary, and I know it's not all-inclusive, but I'm hoping that there's a name for what I identify as, and if there are others who know of or are the same. For starters, I have no desire to go under the knife (needle-phobic ), but I do strive to pass to the best of my ability. Genetically XX, on any given day I may switch from acting otherwise or in line with my chromosomes, but whatever I feel like that day, I put all my effort into being/passing, if that makes any sense. Monitoring myself for the past few years, I think I can say that this is not sexually motivated; the best way that I can sum it up is that I want to experience being male for what it is to the best of my ability non-surgically/hormonally, but also enjoy and accept the way I have been born.

Hope this isn't too confusing, and thanks in advance for your consideration.

[Jay]

Hello Seth and Welcome to Susans.

Only you can decided "What you are". To me you sound like a FTM like myself however not wanting surgery isn't uncommon. I know a few FTMs who dont want surgery and who take hormones and still pass 100%.

Jay

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Seth,   

Welcome to our little family. Over 1800 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member.   

Janet

[kestin]

Heya and welcome!

In answer to your question, have you considered being bi-gendered or gender-fluid?

[Kirin]

Hello, welcome we'll do our best to help you out, whatever you are.

To me, it sounds like you're gender-fluid, as kestin said. You might want to check out the board for Androgynes? I admit I'm not entirely certain what goes in that category, but I think gender-fluid is one of them.

At the same time, don't put too much stock in what any of us say, as we can only make suggestions...only you can really figure out who and what you are...but regardless, we're all family here, you don't need to find a word that describes you perfectly to fit in here so again, welcome!

[Kayden]

I would put my vote up for bigender/gender-fluid as well.  Before I understood my past as a serious attempt to ignore my identity, I thought I was swinging between genders and I identified as bigender.  However, once I made the switch to male in college, I never went back (I guess I was wrong).  But it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on yourself already.

Self-discovery is the key.  If you look up transgender on wikipedia there are a bunch of child topics.  It's a starting place.  Obviously there's tons more information on the internet than that, but it's good to begin somewhere.

[Seth]

Thanks a lot, everyone, for the warm welcoming words despite the large time gap between this reply. Gender-fluid, just the sound of the term is intriguing enough; will definitely start looking into information about it. Though I'll still stick around here; after all, I could use some advice to over the difficulty of assuming the chromosome I wasn't born with so that other people won't realize it.

In other news, how's the weather where you guys are? Here I'm visiting an aunt in California, and I have to say the beaches look quite summer-y. The ocean water, however, will certainly remind anyone touching it that it's still winter. 

On San Clemente Beach

[Kirin]

Our weather in New England is finally starting to warm up a bit. There's a lot of dirty half-melted snow everywhere though ick.