Good analogy Louise. Changing countries is a pretty scary thought too, like worrying about fitting in and stuff, or at least acceptance.
Perhaps identifying with no gender is, besides a rejection of the gender concept, just being- regardless of this stuff- I guess doing what you like and not feeling like any specific thing but yourself. I guess it would entail Louise's cosmopolitan concept- which I like, though the world is much bigger.
It reminds me of years ago sometimes I'd look in the mirror and think, hmm, my name isn't "me", not that its bad or unfitting or I want to particularly get rid of it (cept the middle one, ick) but I don't feel like I am my name- its more of an identification convienience, and I don't even like telling it to people so much. I guess that could be both and neither then, kind of like letting people call you what ever they want. Just doing your thing. Or some might purposely hide traits, rather than just hold them as traits that anyone can have.
In my psych book there's a famous diagram of four boxes to illustrate personality traits- masculine, feminine, androgynous (high both), undifferentiated (lacking both). Not sure how literal you can take that since you can't have no personality unless you're unconscious or something. I don't quite get it anymore- like what is masculine or feminine anyway? I get it from a culture expectation or animal instinct way, but those don't really have much to do with me. Maybe I live in a rather liberal area.