I recently spent several days in New Jersey visiting family, chiefly my mother, who I hadn't seen in a few years.
AND.....I am soooo proud of my mom. Monday while waiting with me at the Atlantic City bust stop at Bally's Casino, a transgendered woman entered the area where we & a few other people were talking & waiting. She asked a couple questions about which bus was coming to what gate, then went off about her own business.
After she left, Mom & I looked at each other. Knowing that this was a new experience for Mom, I smiled slightly & raised an eyebrow to her, and she smiled slightly then asked, "Am I right?" I replied, "Yes." I resisted the urge to correct the other ladies in the area who, while talking amongst themselves, referred to this person as "he/him" after she left. Choose your battles, as they say, and for the moment my 'battleground' was on the homefront.
A few minutes later when Mom & I were alone, I asked, "Was that the first time you've encountered a transgendered person in real life?" Mom said, "Probably." (Which was a good answer in itself, as in many cases one can never really know who is or isn't.) I nodded knowingly. "Would you have addressed her as 'sir' or 'ma'am?", I asked. "I would probably call them whatever they were last." I asked her to clarify, and in her own way of saying it, Mom indicated that she would have used terminology appropriate to how an individual presented him/her self.
I smiled & told Mom she passed the test. She admits that she doesn't understand it, it confuses her. Mom is a moderately conservative Christian of the Lutheran denomination. From prior discussions with her, she would get kinda' agitated when I tried to talk about it, in her own way skeptical about the legitimacy of the experience of transgendered individuals. But I'm really proud of her recent response. Progress. :~)
Thanks for reading,
Valerie
