Some may or may not recall that I had a metoid (release only) with Dr. Bowers last Feb. I had implants, which were far too large and had to be removed. I declined insertion of smaller ones at the time, as the pain and discomfort the larger ones had caused had scared me into doing anything else. The surgery was a huge disappointment and I wanted a 'reversal' to go back to what I had before. Doctor advised I wait...and I did...as I might've just been overtly emotional about everything.
It's over a year later and things healed as well as they could've. My disappointment with the appearance is still there, but I know the cause of it and am no longer seeking a reversal. I'll be having a consultation with Dr. Bowers to inquire about revision at the same time I get a chest revise and excess skin removed from my stomach (I used to be far heavier and lost a considerable amount of weight).
I post this because...although I thought having a metoid release would be sufficient, I'm rethinking that. More and more, the desire to get the urinary hookup, smaller implants, and a vaginectomy is growing. More and more I find myself slipping into depression because I possess something I don't want, and don't really enjoy having penetrated anymore (physically, it's enjoyable but it's a definite mental road block now---before it was I had to deal with it so it was a non issue---now at the 'final step' of transition, it makes me feel as though I'm stuck half-way there).
Problem is I can't find ANY pics of post-vaginectomy FtMs to see what it'd look like...what kind of sensation loss I'd have, ect.
I feel just as lost and confused as I did when I first started transitioning now (in regards to a lack of resources). =\
