Hi! I'm pretty confused at the moment.

[Granulated]

My name is Laurel. I have no idea what's going on with me, honestly. I am currently a teenager, so at least I have a long time to think about it. I always thought of myself as female but have flirted with the idea of being FTM... As a kid I always told everyone I wished I was a boy. I refused to wear girl clothing until I was socially pressured to, at age 11. And now, whenever I daydream (of a sexual nature and simple normal "wouldn't it be nice if...") I'm a gay guy. I don't know if I'm a gay FTM, and honestly I joined here to help me figure everything out. Thanks!

[Osiris]

I understand the daydreaming thing. Ever since I was a little kid whenever I'd fantasize it'd involve a man. It wasn't me but someone I'd see on tv or something. It took a lot of analyzing to realize that those were substitutes for a male image of myself. Then I finally started realizing that I identified more as a man.

Well that's my personal experience. The only person who can really know what's going on with you is you and finding out can be a long process.

Welcome to Susans!

[Arch]

Hi, Granulated. I'm glad you found Susan's. We're pretty supportive here.

All my life, I've spent a lot of time living up in my head. I was always a boy having relationships with men. Before puberty, these fantasies were physical but not sexual. During and after puberty, they became blatantly sexual. I never fantasized about women or saw myself as a girl in these daydreams. Although I did experiment a bit, all of my long-term relationships have been with men. I've always felt like I should be part of the gay community, but I felt like an outsider.

I've always felt gay. Women don't really do anything for me. I like men, I've always preferred men, and I'm attracted to male anatomy. I like so-called gay sex.

In short, I'm gay.

You might be, too; but as Osiris says, it might take you quite some time to figure everything out.

So pull up a chair and stay awhile. You came to the right place.

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Granulated,   

Welcome to our little family. Over 1900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member/brother.   

Janet

[gennee]

Welcome to Susans, Laurel.

Gennee

[JakeDenver]

Hello and welcome to susans. As a fellow FTM i also fantasize about being with men and a man myself. I am highly attracted to other FTMs and guys. I will go for a femme girl once and a while but not too often. But anyways welcome to susans.

[VeryGnawty]

And now, whenever I daydream (of a sexual nature and simple normal "wouldn't it be nice if...") I'm a gay guy. I don't know if I'm a gay FTM, and honestly I joined here to help me figure everything out. Thanks!

You are whatever you think you are.  If you constantly dream about being a guy, chances are that you are one.

Many of us have had cross-gender dreams since we were kids.

[imaz]

Welcome Laurel,

Wouldn't worry about it too much, just be and do what you like. There is no right or wrong in these matters. Personally I fantasise about everything...!

[Cindy]

Hi Laural and welcome
As everyone has said you are at an age were you can expolre your feelings without having to "jump ship". This is a nice site for you to seek support. As I said in previous introductions as a kid I always wanted a brother. Now I have a whole family of them and they give good support to their sisters.

Love
Cindy James

[Genevieve Swann]

Welcome,  Confusion may be a good thing. It helps us evolve. What you're feeling is probably normal. Here you will find some wonderfull and helpfull people. Be seeing you around.

[lisa_a]

You are lucky to have been able to refuse. I always cried, like very, every time they cut my hair. I was just told to pull myself togheter, that was no way for a boy to behave. But still I couldnt help it, the tears always fell. And I felt so bad and weak afterwards. It was not before I was about 16, I managed to say NO, and that I promised to still cut it, but I did it myself. That helped me a lot. The clotes have never been something I could refuse. My grandmother was the only feminine person in my family. So I stole clothes from my mother and dressed up for her, she never treated me differently. Probably the only good childhood memories I have.

Hope you figure it out, I never have :hugs: