Hi from Twospirits.

[twospirits]

Hi to everyone.
I'm 31 years old but I'm confused like a teenager.
English isn't my first language and neither my second, so pardon me for mistakes and inelegances.
This is my story: I'm a biological female but from age 4 I've ever identificated myself as boy. All along my adolescence I wear and act like a male. Besides I was sexual attracted to men so I couldn't recognize myself as a FtM because I didn't know that one can to be transexual and gay too. This is a thing I've discovered few months ago on the Net. However my condition caused me pain and social isolation. I felt sick with myself and therefore at age of 19-20 I started to make me more feminine, make up, dress female clothes etc..I tried very hard to be happy in my body, but for real I never consider myself a woman like the others and never felt comfortable in my body. Now, at age of 31 I'm in full crisis. I don't now if I am a true FtM; for sure I'm not a true woman, whetever this mean; and I want so strong to be a man, but I am awful scared. I don't know what to do and I don't know who I am. How I can help myself?

However,
I am really glad I found this site. Here is plenty of wonderful people.
Twospirits.

[tinkerbell]

Hello there and welcome to Susan's! 

Thank you so much for introducing yourself.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site.  You might also wish to go to the Announcements section and review The Site Terms of Service and rules to live by, Post Ranks, and The Standard Terms & Definitions to help you with some knowledge about our site.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay! 

tink

[Wendy C]

Hi Twospirits, first of what you are feeling is nothing to be ashamed of, you are not alone here at Susans. I'm sure some of the guys here will be along soon also to welcome you and help you to find the answers you need. So dont be discouraged, take a look around while you are waiting, there is a lot of information to be found here. Hugs

Wendy

[myles]

Welcome, This is a great place to come for information. I showed up 2 years ago in the same space/shape your in and found this a great space to ask questions and talk to others who were going thru or had gone thru the same "crisis" you are now in. Look around!
I look forward to getting to "chat" with you a bit around here.
Myles

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Twospirits,   

Welcome to our little family. Over 1900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another brother.   

Very interesting on-line name.  I am Native American and that name describes transsexuals to a tee.  Being two spirited means to have both male and female identity and it is a great honor among many of the native nations here in America.  Two spirited is a mystical and magical being in human form.

Janet

[Genevieve Swann]

Hello Twospirits. Being a little confused is normal. I'm confused about many aspects of life. I wonder what my native american (indigenous) name would be? Maybe something like "Buffalo Chip" sounds good.

[twospirits]

HI Tink, Myles, Janet, Wendy and Genevieve. Thank for the warm welcome.
About the nickname, I'm not Native American, I'm from Europe but I chose it for the meaning. I studied anthropology at the University and was great to discover that in some cultures transexual people don't have to be ostracized. So I pick out that nickname with a sense of hope and for it bringing good fortune.

[imaz]

Hi TwoSpirits and welcome from a fellow European

Everything you say sound pretty normal and indeed reflects some of my own experiences in the other direction.

As regards the tolerance of other cultures I'm not so sure, maybe among isolated tribes or islands but probably not across society as a whole. Even the tradition of a matriarchal society in Northern Sumatra is dying out under the pressures of modern life and Islamic values. Indonesia is supposed to have various gender tolerant cultures but I've never come across any of them nor have my family. All sounds a bit "Margaret Mead/National Geographic" perhaps?

[twospirits]

Hi imaz,
I'm not an expert anthropologist, I gave only an exam on that subject and never managed ethnic survey !
Margaret Mead, I've read only 'Sex and Temperament', interesting stuff. But I'd like to be a National Geographic photograph

[imaz]

One day, one day!

[Luc]

Twospirits, you sound like an ftm to me, and there certainly is no such thing as a "true" transsexual of any persuasion. Welcome, and hopefully we can help you get things sorted out.

SD