Quote from: Asher on April 15, 2009, 10:14:59 PM
Would you still consider it a girlhole if you did it doggy-style? That way the positioning would make you a male, but get you the female pleasure. That's the way I look at it at least. I don't know if I'd ever get comfortable with missionary.
I hadn't thought of this, Asher, but I have to admit that it doesn't seem to matter what position I use. And, you know, you can have anal sex face-to-face anyway. I fantasize that I'm doing that with someone special who shall be nameless.
I think I just need to get farther along in my transition and get more comfortable with myself, my gender identity, and my anatomy. And I need to talk about my hang-ups with my therapist. Obviously, all of this will take some time. I don't think there is a quick fix.
Post Merge: April 16, 2009, 01:39:34 AM
Quote from: Sebastien on April 16, 2009, 12:24:36 AM
Arch, I know exactly what you're saying about the libido, shame, etc. bit... I deal with the exact same thing constantly. My sex drive has increased quite a bit on T, of course, and I'm now interested in ANYTHING sex-wise... plenty of things to explore, I suppose. For some reason, though, I've always felt like anal sex was wrong. I've done it, I masturbate that way occasionally, but I always feel disgusting afterward. If you find a way to get past that, man, please let me know.
Sebastien, one thing my therapist told me might help. I haven't had much chance to test it out yet, though. He said that the more time I spend around other people like me--by which he meant gay men, but particularly gay men who, unlike me, are comfortable with their sexuality--the more I will feel that my own proclivities are okay.
The other thing that is helpful to me is that my therapist is gay. I've never actually asked him whether he likes anal sex (I'm not sure I could), but I do know that he is comfortable with his sexual orientation. I guess that won't help you unless you're in therapy AND your therapist is a happy anal perv (haha), but I thought I would throw that out there.
I guess a lot of people aren't too comfortable talking about sex with their therapists. I'm usually okay talking about the sex that I have with my partner, but I start having trouble when I try to talk about my hang-ups. I completely trust my therapist, but I'm still uncomfortable talking about some topics because I tend to pass judgment on myself. He never does that--one reason I'm able to talk to him about very personal things is that he is so open and nonjudgmental.
Oh, and another thing. He said that while I'm having the sex, I shouldn't focus on my emotions or my reactions; I should focus on the pleasurable sensations. When my mind wanders into judgmental territory, I yank it back and focus on the physical. I've been doing this for several months, and it seems to be working.
I'm getting better about anal, although I still have a ways to go. But the front hole...I was okay with it last year. Only when I started transition did it become a problem.
I can't even say the proper anatomical word. Sigh.
