Question and Answer - What is a Crossdresser?

[Ricki]

Kind words "SO" that was very nice to state all that!   
R

[Mia and Marq]

5% can't possibly be right. One of the most frequent costumes men use as far as I've seen during Halloween is dressing as a woman. I believe that they are just taking advantage of the opportunity to dress up without any sort of social problems from anyone.

Also I've heard that being dressed as a woman in sexual situations is a fantasy of a significant number of men. I suppose again it falls with them having a means of achieving the effect without having to deal with the negative attention.

Also in high school and college, there were a significant number of events involving crossdressing such as beauty pagents and that sort of thing for the different organizations such as Fraternities. I think people just are in denial.

I see the individuals here that consider themselves crossdressers as being just the more confident of the bunch that have begun to embrace it. The rest of the men that are prone to crossdressing just haven't accepted it yet and are hiding behind all the events mentioned above to rationize they're normal.

Who wants to be normal?

[debbie60]

:laugh:hi   your  right  to me  M T F   cross dress  is   my  joy in live  no  other feeling
like  it  but   that  is   me .  DEBBIE  ANN     [/size]

[emma71]

I haven't been here i a while. I am little by little, trying to learn and understand why a man would want to dress like a woman. It's kind of a pain in neck isn't it? I guess the drive must be so strong that you must satisfy it. I am more confused and insecure than ever. I feel like if I were sexier, my boyfriend wouldn't \need to dress...how silly, right? It is a turn off to me to even imagine him in a skirt and stockings. God, I thought this was the man for me,,,now I don't know what to do with this information. I know is goes online and looks at crossdressers. I know he is torn. He is a happy go lucky sweet man, and if anyone knew this they would not believe it. I guess I have to admit it will not go away. He told  me he doesn't do it as much, but I almost sense he would like to see me go away for a weekend.
secrets keep us....we dont keep secrets. I am so sad our relationship has changed after this info, and it is effecting me physically and emotionally.
Our love life is none...unless I initiate,,which I loved at first, but would like him to initiate and show interest.what is that? I apoligize for rambing. we live together and made a commitment. It scares me to think of the future with a secret like this to keep. emma

[Louise]

Emma,
I hope you come back and visit us.  The very fact that you are looking for some answers shows that you have a loving concern for your boyfriend.  I can't promise any answers, just some observations from a man who has been crossdressing for about 60 years.

I am little by little, trying to learn and understand why a man would want to dress like a woman. It's kind of a pain in neck isn't it? I guess the drive must be so strong that you must satisfy it.

I don't understand why I do this either.  There are all kinds of theories, none of which I find completely satisfactory.  Even if we could understand why we do it, that would not change the fact that this is a drive that cannot be denied.  It is sometimes a pain in the neck, but it is also wonderful fun as well.

I am more confused and insecure than ever. I feel like if I were sexier, my boyfriend wouldn't \need to dress...how silly, right?

Yes, it is silly.  This is about the way he is, not about what you do.

It is a turn off to me to even imagine him in a skirt and stockings. God, I thought this was the man for me,,,now I don't know what to do with this information. I know is goes online and looks at crossdressers. I know he is torn. He is a happy go lucky sweet man, and if anyone knew this they would not believe it.

I think one of the issues you need to face here is whether or not you are feeling some sense of shame for loving a man who is a crossdresser-- "My God, what would my friends and relatives think of me if they knew I was in love with a man who likes to wear a dress." 

I have been married for almost 40 years; my wife accepts me as a crossdresser, but one of the secrets of a good relationship is learning to be sensitive to one another's feelings.  I would never want to do anything to embarrass my wife.  She knows how I feel and always compliments me on how pretty I look when I am dressed en femme.  Talk to your boyfriend.  Talk about your feelings; talk about his feelings.  Good Luck.

Louise

[Furball]

I dress like a woman a lot...but for some reason I'm always afraid to try it in public. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

[Kate]

I dress like a woman a lot...but for some reason I'm always afraid to try it in public. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

Going to support groups is a great way to get used to it in a safe, supportive environment.

Go for a drive. Reasonably safe way to test the waters.

Try a walk through a touristy kinda town at night perhaps. Another way to see experience people's reactions.

In the end, nothing substitutes for Just Doing It. If you don't go too far into the looking sexy side of things, people generally don't care.

~Kate~

[Furball]

I dress like a woman a lot...but for some reason I'm always afraid to try it in public. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

Going to support groups is a great way to get used to it in a safe, supportive environment.

Go for a drive. Reasonably safe way to test the waters.

Try a walk through a touristy kinda town at night perhaps. Another way to see experience people's reactions.

In the end, nothing substitutes for Just Doing It. If you don't go too far into the looking sexy side of things, people generally don't care.

~Kate~

See, I live in Vicksburg...And I'm no sure how the public will react, so it's kidn of scary especially with the cops that might bust me for "something unlawful"

[Renae.Lupini]

I dress like a woman a lot...but for some reason I'm always afraid to try it in public. Is there anything anyone can suggest?

In the end, nothing substitutes for Just Doing It. If you don't go too far into the looking sexy side of things, people generally don't care.

~Kate~

Kate is so right with this one. Just going out there and being yourself is the best way to do it.

the next time you get dressed try putting your pants on using the opposite leg than you normally use first. It will feel funny and awkward. that is because it is not something you are used to doing. If you kept doing it, eventually it would be second nature and no longer feel strange at all. The same goes for going out in public in your preferred gender role.

[Furball]

I guess I could try.

[aaron]

When I was young, and I mean very young my interest was there. I tried it and loved it. As I got older the interest is still there but I don't dress. I've shaved off my body hair because I like the clean and smooth feel but let it grow back. Talk about an extreme closet case? I still live at home and won't be able to experience anything until I move out, even then it'll still be in private.

[cyanide]

i am unsure about now.  because i am not sure where i stand.


but when i was younger, it is a way to get into 'character' when i play pretend games of characters we saw on TV.
i found female characters more fun to play (and usually those parts are "bestowed" upon me anyway)....
of course, don't get to do that a lot... cuz it's cute the first time you put on a dress and be discovered by your parents.
after that.... well... came the threat to cut my ****  off    true story.


to answer the question.. humm... to get into characer? (look up crossplay)  ....the first step of the hierarchy towards transgenderilsm?

[Emma Jane]

Hi

I've been cross dressing for approximately 25 years and it's only in the last couple of months I want to take it further e.g. live as a full time woman. How do I tell my partner of 10 years? She has her suspicions but has never seen me as a woman...

Emm

[Emmalene]

A Crossdresser is an individual who dresses in clothing characteristic of their opposite sex.

The catch - as with the "What is a transsexual?" thread - is do we group people by what they do? Or by their motivations?

Under this definition, many of whom we typically consider "transsexuals" would also be crossdressers (at least before they transition). And while I suppose it's accurate to say that they are crossdressing (wearing clothing opposite of physical anatomy), it's sounds wrong to label them as crossdressers.

Well the thing is, if there may be a variety of possible reasons why somebody would cross dress, then it is right to consider transsexualism to be one of them, and that transsexuals may go through a cross dresser period during their transformation process. It is just too black and white to say there are transsexuals and then there are cross dressers. It's a comparison of apples and oranges.

[Becky]

I really think it unfare that G.G. can wear men's clothes in public without no one saying a thing but if a man wears women;s clothes it is wrong.
I REALLY LIKE TO WEAR DRESSES.
Becky

[candyapple]

if i were to put myself in a certain classification , i would consider myself a transvestite , even though i dislike the term i accept that dressing up in sexy lingerei does turn me on sexually , i used to feelguilty about it , and dispose of my stash of items i had collected , then it would return and i would start purchasing again to fullfill my desire , exposing it to a partner made me feel quite guilty, and so im wary of being to open with anybody new as this would just make things worse, . its not like   im gonna say , oh ... i forgot to tell you ...i like to wear womans panties , and they have run a mile in the past , so you can imagine the dialema  i now face , as a doctor said to me ... a lepord cant change its spots , so i guess i am what i am and i am not ashamed  about what turns me on ,and im not hurting anybody , i feel unhappy when i supress these feelings , so i guess now its time to accept the situation and get on with life and maybe i will find an understanding woman , im 44 now  ,so you never whats round the corner ,  this is the first time i have expressed my thoughts on this subject  and hope i have not bored you all ,  have a nice week, ......candy

[Emmalene]

if i were to put myself in a certain classification , i would consider myself a transvestite , even though i dislike the term i accept that dressing up in sexy lingerei does turn me on sexually , i used to feelguilty about it , and dispose of my stash of items i had collected , then it would return and i would start purchasing again to fullfill my desire , exposing it to a partner made me feel quite guilty, and so im wary of being to open with anybody new as this would just make things worse, . its not like   im gonna say , oh ... i forgot to tell you ...i like to wear womans panties , and they have run a mile in the past , so you can imagine the dialema  i now face , as a doctor said to me ... a lepord cant change its spots , so i guess i am what i am and i am not ashamed  about what turns me on ,and im not hurting anybody , i feel unhappy when i supress these feelings , so i guess now its time to accept the situation and get on with life and maybe i will find an understanding woman , im 44 now  ,so you never whats round the corner ,  this is the first time i have expressed my thoughts on this subject  and hope i have not bored you all ,  have a nice week, ......candy

Someone on a different thread in this forum claimed "men" who wear womens panties were more likely to rape and abuse girls. Such folk prejudice is very disturbing.

[tekla]

"Someone on a different thread in this forum claimed "men" who wear womens panties were more likely to rape and abuse girls. Such folk prejudice is very disturbing."

And most likely not true either, bet its exactly the opposite, the instance of rape and abuse would be lower as they have an outlet that does not require other people.

5% may be valid if you are talking about any cross gender use of clothing or behaviors, but serious gender differences is more like 1.5% or less I bet.

Drive from Vicksburg (very pretty, I enjoyed my visit there) to New Orleans.  Lot of places to go in N.0.

[brenn]

A Crossdresser is an individual who dresses in clothing characteristic of the other sex.


-Emerald  

This is a very broad definition. I think among crossdressers, there is a continuum. There are of course those (males) who dress fully as a woman and try to pass as a woman. There there are others who incorporate articles of womens clothing into their wardrobe to varying degrees but do not try and pass. I'll use myself as an example:

I tried dressing fully as a woman in dresses, high heels, makeup, etc. However, that was not for me. There are things found in the women's department that I like to wear such as panties (everyday), pantyhose (occasionally), capri pants (very rarely), ballet flats and mary-janes (as casual wear) and a few pairs of women's jeans/pants/shorts. I do not try and pass, but incorporate them into my everyday wardrobe. I don't wear a bra because I don't need one. I don't wear makeup (although a light lip gloss is sometimes nice) because i don't like the hassle. I tend to think of myself as androgenous, but sometimes that doesn't exactly fit the definition either. How do we reconcile and differentiate these manners of dress?

Just something to think about.

Brenn

[Barbara]

One interesting thing to me is that ,yes it is a common link between crossdresser's to have tried on articles of clothing at an early age.But was there something within us before we even got to the actual trying on of pantyhose,or panties,etc... Did we have a desire to connect with the feminine?.And another question is that what if at an early age these articles of clothing were simple non-available,and we had absolutly no access to them,would we still have followed the same path?And how many children have also tried on there mothers clothes in private a few times but just abandoned it over time and had no feeling about it.I feel that it somehow got burned into my brain,and now i know that it is part of me.For better or worse.