=(

[penguin1332694]

One of my very best friends that I've know for several years has completly disowned me when i told her that I am trying to become what I am truly supposed to be, and I'm dealing with some stress right now because this friend ment a lot to me.

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to help me handle this stress.

[Alyx.]

Arrgh.

I hate that when that happens... :\

[Miniar]

One thing you might want to remember is that if your friend can't accept you then would you "really" want them to stay your friend?

[Jay]

One thing you might want to remember is that if your friend can't accept you then would you "really" want them to stay your friend?

EXACTLY

I talk walks, listen to music and watch my fav movies

I hope she comes around.

Jay

[myles]

I agree, if they were truly your friend it wouldn't matter. I would give them time to grieve their loss , of the you they "know", and see if they come around.
Myles

[Nicky]

Hi,

That must really hurt, losing one of your best friends. Things are just not fair sometimes. I hope they come around. I disagree with the idea that if they were truely your firend it would not matter. Those closest to us have the most investment in us. Their reactions can be the strongest.

I don't know how you can handle the stress. Do you have someone you could talk to?

[penguin1332694]

There is one person that I am able to talk to.

My only problem with talking to her is that I dont want her to think that I always put my problems on her.

[K8]

It's hard losing a friend because she doesn't accept you.  As we are first coming out of the closet we are all very vulnerable.  Rejection is painful.  The more people you tell and who accept you, the less the loss of one will hurt (maybe). 

If your other friend is the one you go to whenever you have problems, perhaps once this is resolved for you you can think about being her friend when you don't need her - be a friend to her, not just have her as your friend.

Perhaps there is a counselor you could talk to?

[penguin1332694]

the only thing about me telling a counslor is that I could potentionally be singled out by teachers and other staff at school, and i dont want any of my teachers to set me apart from any other students just because I do not believe i was born under the right sexuality.

[Just Kate]

One thing you might want to remember is that if your friend can't accept you then would you "really" want them to stay your friend?

I wouldn't make this distinction so quickly - sometimes there are underlying circumstances that are not understood by the person being 'abandoned'.

An example from my own life:
When I came out to one of my best friends, I would have claimed he "disowned" me as well.  I immediately assumed he wasn't being accepting and took him for an enemy.  It wasn't until I was older and spoke with him again that I found out what happened.  My friend had been sexually abused as a child by his uncle. He mistakenly made an association that my "coming out" was akin to being like his uncle.  It was a clear misunderstanding, but because I was so judgmental of his judgmentalness, I never got to the bottom of it and lost a good friend for several years - an individual who is still my good friend today once we were able to talk through it.

All I'm saying is, be careful of knee jerk reactions regardless whose knee is jerking - there is usually more behind it.  As I like to say, you have had X number of years to come to term with your condition, your friend has had minutes, maybe days now.  Give him/her time and be patient.