I don't really care what the so called experts say because most of them are not transgendered. They listen to what we say and make their determinations which are influenced by their own bias. Few people can make an interpretation without their bias influencing them at least a bit. I have yet to meet one who can. Besides, if I want to know something about trans people I'll go the real experts, the ones who teach the so called experts, other trans people.
We do have a choice in everything we do but there are consequences. When we weigh those consequences we make the decision that is right for us. Many people who identify as crossdressers are really transsexual but they have weighed the consequences of transitioning and choose to identify themselves as crossdressers.
It's a mind game of sorts.
The fear of what could happen if they transition is so great they actually convince themselves they aren't transsexual. But I have heard these people, when they are tired or depressed, admit they are TS but don't have the courage to transition. Once out of their slump they return to proclaiming they are CD.
If one was capable of truly separating the TSs from the CDs then you might be able to get inside the true CDs mind and find out what the consequences of not crossdressing would be for them. And then you can come to a better understanding if the choices they make are a need or the lesser of two evils.
Transsexuals often say if they don't transition they will die, or will want to. We could say transitioning is a choice but so is death. It depends how much importance you place on each action. Is life better than death? It's a pretty universal opinion that yes, life is better than death. What's amazing is some of us have to impress on our loved ones that's how we feel before they will come around to support us.
Crossdressing typically doesn't have the same level of desperation but there are consequences that are very real and very damaging if the crossdresser abstains for too long. Society may not agree these consequences justify breaking such a major taboo, so getting support or understanding is more difficult than for the TS who says I can't live like this anymore. But the need to crossdress is very real and, for the true crossdresser, will never go away. Remove the societal taboos and watch how many men start wearing clothes made for women. I think we'd all be shocked.
I'm 58 years old and I've studied this all my life. No doubt, if I were to sit in a room with the top experts I can tell them things they never heard or knew. I'm sure many here can say the same thing. Society programs us from the earliest age and that makes it very difficult for us to get in touch with our true feelings. We've been brainwashed and we feel guilty simply because society refuses to accept some people are different. Only when you reject transgender as being taboo can you begin to feel free to be yourself. You'll still have to face an unaccepting society though.
Let's face it, does someone who likes to fly model airplanes or scale Mt. Everest or join a chess club have to answer the question "is this a choice or a need?" No. Because all those things are socially acceptable. Change the social acceptance of being TG and you'll eliminate the problems society has with it and end the need for millions of people to try to be something they are not.
Julie
