QuoteMy point was that when you get to a certain point, you have asymilated to the female social way of thinking.... how things are done......
The issue I think you may be missing is the inherent judgement in that quote above, None Blonde.
I assimilated to a female way of thinking about the age of four. I transitioned some 37 years later.
Assimilating to *the* female way of thinking requires, inherently, that there be a singular sort of way that females think. Note that in my statement above I said "a way" not "the way" -- the difference may be minor, and some could say that I'm arguing semantics.
They'd be right.
Semantics is a huge part of my work, though, and semantics is all about *
meaning* -- a semantic argument is
an argument about meaning -- what does someone
mean.
That phrase I quoted is, strictly speaking, meaning there is a right way to think and a wrong way.
I often say there are 3 billion ways to be a woman. Because there are three billion women, and no two are alike.
I am a woman who is accused --
exclusively by transfolk -- of being "too sexy" and dressing "too provocatively". This isn't because I have a stereotype of how a woman should be or dress, but I have a strong sense of my identity and I am simply expressing it.
I don't own a gown. I do own a lot of nice dresses, some risque, and I'm just as likely to wear a VS mid thigh strappy dress to the store as I am to wear one of the three pairs of jeans and half a dozen t shirts I own.
Not because there is a problem with wearing hoodies and sweats, but because I don't find hoodies and sweats all that comfy. I'll take my knit dress over that any day. Neither of them have any real effect on a person's *own* perceived sense of femininity -- but they have a lot of effect on the perceptions of others. Hence the statement you made about "the way" instead of "a way".
And I attract attention when I walk through a store. A lot of it. And, to be frank, I like it -- because I have a pretty good idea what people are thinking since during my phase where I was nearly paralyzed by fear over such, I decided to start asking people.
This makes me difficult for some trans folk to be around. They don't want to be seen. They don't want to be noticed. They want to live as a "normal" person -- to be commonplace, ordinary, average, everyday.
Nothing wrong with that, either.
Except for me. I am not normal. Or ordinary. Or everyday, or typical, or commonplace. I'm also a catty high maintenance sort of gal with champagne tastes and tap water budget, lol.
None of which has anything to do with my being trans -- all of that was part of who I was
before I turned 4.
I can be primly dressed, no skin showing from neck to toes, sitting still, and get attention.
Nor am I in a "teen phase", and I don't have to have make up on, and often don't, but I also put forth basic effort -- 10 minutes max each day doesn't hurt me.
I never took care of my self before I transitioned -- I didn't take care of my clothes, or my body, or really give much thought to my appearance overall. Hell, I couldn't even stand to look in the mirror, and shaved maybe twice a week unless the ex got on my case.
So for me to dress in such a fashion as is "common and typical" at my grocery store would actually be wrong for me, personally. It would be a sort of personal betrayal of my self.
And you wouldn't want me to do that, would you?
