are my reasons for wanting srs valid???

[Butterfly]

I'd like to see transsexual women having GRS because they're FEMALE & not because of the orgasms or the clothes.  It must be bloody nice for some peeps to have "a choice" & be able to live without GRS.  Some of us can't give ourselves the luxury of "choosing".

[Genevieve Swann]

Additional therapy may be a good idea. If your personal desire is strong enough that in itself should be validation enough. Be the woman you really are.

[Just Kate]

I have to agree with Flan and Matilda.  If you are a woman then you would want to get rid of your male genitals and strive for the surgery regardless.  Women do not have penises.  The other stuff may or may not follow there is no guarantee.

There seems to be much doubt in your post and I would strongly recommend therapy.

-={LR}=-

My wife, who is a cis-female, reads some of these posts with me.  She has often said, "Boy, some of these people are REALLY hung up on what they have down there.  If I suddenly woke up with a penis one day it wouldn't affect whether I thought of myself as a female."

[Renate]

"If I woke up with a big stinking, suppurating wart on my nose it wouldn't affect my sense of beauty"

Right.

Good for you then.

[Just Kate]

Well my wife is kind of odd - I mean she married me.  My example is anecdotal of course, perhaps most women would no longer think of themselves as women until they had it removed.  For example, I've heard of some women, after a mastectomy, who struggle with the idea of themselves as women afterwards.  I guess there is some part of our gender-construct that is tied strongly with our physical genitalia, I just can't say for sure that's part of being a "real" (man or woman) anything.  Seems more socially based.

[Renate]

I mean, what is this general dislike of warts anyway?
It must be some sort of social construct, yes?
Possibly a manifestation of the patriarchal dominance of geo-politics.

On the other hand, maybe some people just don't like warts.

[Just Kate]

No, maybe they don't like warts, and want to get rid of their own, but then to insist that others must also get rid of theirs for the same reason or they are doing it wrong...

I think this example is going too far away from the original subject matter.  I hope not to start debating the validity of removing warts.

[FairyGirl]

I hate my wart because I'm female and want it GONE. I don't really have another reason.

[Natasha]

& if you're a "non-op by choice", have the balls to say you are & stop b.s.ing people.

love yourself "warts & all"  right?

[Jesslee]

No, maybe they don't like warts, and want to get rid of their own, but then to insist that others must also get rid of theirs for the same reason or they are doing it wrong...

I think this example is going too far away from the original subject matter.  I hope not to start debating the validity of removing warts.

nobody ever insisted that I had to "get rid of it", but by the age of 10 I had already tried to get rid of it myself. at that age I had never seen female genitalia, all I knew was that it was there and it bothered me badly, so (IMHO) I doubt very seriously that it is tied to a Social-Gender construct!

If a person can live (happily) without needing GRS then I say great for them, but I do not believe they suffer from the same condition as I do!

P.S:  I have spoke with many cis-women who say that being in a male body would be a nightmare, and the thought of having male genitals makes them sick to their stomach, but I am sure this opinion varies.

[Nero]

P.S:  I have spoke with many cis-women who say that being in a male body would be a nightmare, and the thought of having male genitals makes them sick to their stomach, but I am sure this opinion varies.

Yeah any cisman or woman who says they wouldn't mind hasn't had to deal with the reality of it. I've heard plenty of guys say they'd love to have female parts. And maybe they would for like a minute, but once the novelty wore off and they started bleeding from it, it'd be a different story.
It's easy for people to say they'd be cool with things they've never had to experience.

[Jesslee]

Yeah any cisman or woman who says they wouldn't mind hasn't had to deal with the reality of it. I've heard plenty of guys say they'd love to have female parts. And maybe they would for like a minute, but once the novelty wore off and they started bleeding from it, it'd be a different story.
It's easy for people to say they'd be cool with things they've never had to experience.

nero great post, it could not have been explained any better!

[FairyGirl]

Yeah any cisman or woman who says they wouldn't mind hasn't had to deal with the reality of it. I've heard plenty of guys say they'd love to have female parts. And maybe they would for like a minute, but once the novelty wore off and they started bleeding from it, it'd be a different story.
It's easy for people to say they'd be cool with things they've never had to experience.

I know, right?

If a person can live (happily) without needing GRS then I say great for them, but I do not believe they suffer from the same condition as I do!

P.S:  I have spoke with many cis-women who say that being in a male body would be a nightmare, and the thought of having male genitals makes them sick to their stomach, but I am sure this opinion varies.

I have to second what Jesslee said. I know there are all shades of the gender spectrum with people perfectly happy to be all of them which is absolutely fine by me, but to me personally it bloody well is a nightmare and one I can do something about.

But we have this argument all the time, it makes me very hesitant to post anything about it for fear of getting spanked (not the good kind). It still comes back to the individual's true feelings on the matter, way down deep in there where the nightmares dwell (or not). Maybe we have to read between our own lines sometimes.

[Nero]

nero great post, it could not have been explained any better!

why thank you ma'am. 

[Jesslee]

I know, right?

I have to second what Jesslee said. I know there are all shades of the gender spectrum with people perfectly happy to be all of them which is absolutely fine by me, but to me personally it bloody well is a nightmare and one I can do something about.

But we have this argument all the time, it makes me very hesitant to post anything about it for fear of getting spanked (not the good kind). It still comes back to the individual's true feelings on the matter, way down deep in there where the nightmares dwell (or not). Maybe we have to read between our own lines sometimes.

thanks for the reminder, maybe I should put it differently, "I do not believe they suffer to the same extent as I do".

[pretty pauline]

This is a subject over which I, myself, have agonised for several months.

I started on this journey, less than 4 years ago, with an occasional evening out as 'her' and absolutely no thought of taking things further. Nine months later, after extensive counselling, I was on prescribed hormones, living dual role but with no intention of transitioning (i.e. going full time). When I transitioned last November, 3 months after undergoing FFS, my therapist asked if I was planning on having SRS. I answered that, apart from making clothes fit better, I couldn't think of a good reason for having it done (yes, I admit I'm shallow and vacuous). Needless to say, I was neither offered, nor sought, nor wanted a referral for surgery on that basis. My SRS is now scheduled with Suporn next year, with those specialists who've been treating my GID over the past 3 years more than willing to refer me. Yes, admittedly, my reasons for proceeding are now more than purely sartorial but, I'd be lying if I said that the decision was 100% straight forward. For me, it wasn't nor would it ever have been, and though if goes without saying that I instinctively believe in what I'm doing, I sometimes do envy those with the perfect self-confidence to pursue their surgical nirvana with what amounts to messianic zeal.

A very good post. I never set out to have SRS from the start, things just developed that way, all I ever wanted was to be a girl and live a girl's / woman's life, it was never a case of ''OMG I have to get rid of that thing'' the E had already done good work and did shrink over the years.
I had FFS brow lift, my cheeks enhanced, a complete face lift so I looked completely female.
It was my Mam who kept the pressure on me to have SRS, after FFS I just didn't want more painful surgery, my Mam always said my transition would never be complete till I had my final surgery.
It turned out my SRS wasn't as painful as FFS, but still painful, it was more my Mam's decision, a family decision, I excepted it, my Mother was trilled to bits.
People see my face, see my 36DD boobs, but never see my vagina, but my Mam was right I surpose, my quailty of life is much better since SRS, relationships with guys and stuff, things my Mother worried about.
Everybody's circumstances are different.
p

[Renate]

Everybody's circumstances are different.

Yes, mine are certainly different than Pauline's.

I wanted SRS long before I ever resolved to live socially as a woman.
I definitely would never want BA and FFS doesn't hold any allure.

[Jeannette]

GRS was my goal since I started my transition too.  I wanted to be a normal woman and function as any other normal woman, not only to appear as such.  Everybody's dysphoria comes in different degrees but if you like what you've got between your legs & decide to live your life without GRS, deal with the consequences & don't complain when other peeps don't see you as female or when the government refuses to change the big fat M on your identity documents or when you can't find a job.  It's nobody's responsibility to accept you as a woman if you don't fit their criteria of what a woman is.  It's a tough society out there in case you haven't realised.

[heatherrose]

My wife...said,...If I suddenly woke up with a penis one day it wouldn't affect whether I thought of myself as a female."

Interalias Wife,

I mean you no disrespect but I wish you could live with mine attached for one
week, holding to the mindset that you currently have, one in which you KNOW you
are female. It would be interesting to discover if you would begin to understand,
after being forbidden from expessing your femininity in any way, shape or form
and being refered to as he, him, or ->-bleeped-<- by those in "authority", your peers and/or
family members. Knowing that in doing so you risk great bodily harm at the
hands of those who feel they have been given the right to do such harm by
those in "religious" and or governmental authority, to rid the world of degenerates
such as yourself. What do you think that would do for your self perception?

Do you know the story of David Reimer? This poor child being born male was
the victim of a botched circumcision (A religious rite of mutilation) His mother
was convinced by a "man in authority" that David through SRS, HRT and being
raised as a female, could be "fixed". The result of which was the child lived an
existance of torment ending in suicide because no matter how they lied and
tried to convince him otherwise, he KNEW he was supposed to be male. What
do you think his not having a penis did for his self perception of being male.
His torture was further compounded with the realization, toward
the end of his life, that he Had been born with one.

This is the self same torment endured by our transgender brothers and sisters
and that of those who were born intersexed. I have been witness to this hell,
through my own experience as one who suffered with GID and in a personal
relationship I had with an individual who's mother was insitutionalized and who's
father told her, "I should have put a bullet in your head when you were born"
because, simply put, the doctor removed the wrong set of genitals
and my friend was forced to live in the wrong gender.

I honestly don't expect for you to understand, being "blessed as you are" with
being born in a gender which matches your personality. all that I would ask is
that you not wag your finger at those of us who find it difficult to express our
gender identity because we were born without the genitals to match.

That said, HONESTLY, Welcome to Susan's

[tekla]

People's lives are very different, this is like the quality of life issue, who exactly thinks they are so all sure and almighty to be able to make that choice for another person.  What's right is not universally right in this case.  The correct method of treatment may not be best for all.  Some of it depends on other factors entirely.

In the end, whatever reasons you have are the right reasons in your life I guess.  I've seen the same thing (big time grad school, rock touring, show biz, going into the Army) work wonders for some and all but crush others.  You don't never know, until you go.

And, to the degree that anyone has the rights/will/wherewithal to make this choices, and believe that they do have the right to make those choices I do think they get to STFU about what choices others may, or may not make.  At some point everyone is entitled to their feelings and understanding - even if they are wrong.  And a lot of times no one is going to know right or wrong till a long way down the tracks.