Lost the Battle.... but thats not a bad thing.

[LynnER]

I cant place when it started happening exactly but for a while now Ive been fighting the idea of likeing boys....  I posted here due to some of the dreams Ive had and how they confused me....

       I finaly accepted the fact and its strangely liborating  XD I cant beleave how free I feel.....
I did come to terms with this finaly last night with the help of my friends in chat... But I mean...wow.. Its wierd but Im not all confused, upset, agrivated, and all that other stuff... Im in a really really REALLY good mood and have been nonstop      Common, some guys can be sweet, some cute, and despite there downfalls  *shrugs* but hey... its all good.

      I went to my former bass players wives birthday party last night.... I ofcorse told my bandmates my little revelation which as usual got mixed reviews but nothing upsetting.  I had an absolute blast.... I usualy try to be one of the guys when I hang out....  usualy end up sullen and quiet but I couldnt stand to do that last night.  Again I stopped fighting and just flowed....  I ended up hanging out with the wives and girlfriends and giveing the guys hell LoL..... Im sure there going to find a way to get revenge but its cool.  As I said I had an absolute BLAST.....

      Now for the fun of doing this to everyone at work.... I may not be going full time quite yet but I cant keep holding back....  and sometimes you have to loose the battle to win the war 

[BrandiOK]

You go Lynn!!! Work it, work it......make it yours!!!!!

[Melissa]

I know what you mean.  Right now I like the idea of FTMs.  I don't think they are weirded out by my transition like others, but I'm sure there are people who would find it fascinating.  It really is a weird feeling because it feels so out of your control.

Melissa

[Buffy]

I cant place when it started happening exactly but for a while now Ive been fighting the idea of likeing boys....  I posted here due to some of the dreams Ive had and how they confused me....

       I finaly accepted the fact and its strangely liborating  XD I cant beleave how free I feel.....
I did come to terms with this finaly last night with the help of my friends in chat... But I mean...wow.. Its wierd but Im not all confused, upset, agrivated, and all that other stuff... Im in a really really REALLY good mood and have been nonstop      Common, some guys can be sweet, some cute, and despite there downfalls  *shrugs* but hey... its all good.

      I went to my former bass players wives birthday party last night.... I ofcorse told my bandmates my little revelation which as usual got mixed reviews but nothing upsetting.  I had an absolute blast.... I usualy try to be one of the guys when I hang out....  usualy end up sullen and quiet but I couldnt stand to do that last night.  Again I stopped fighting and just flowed....  I ended up hanging out with the wives and girlfriends and giveing the guys hell LoL..... Im sure there going to find a way to get revenge but its cool.  As I said I had an absolute BLAST.....

      Now for the fun of doing this to everyone at work.... I may not be going full time quite yet but I cant keep holding back....  and sometimes you have to loose the battle to win the war 

Hi Lynn....Join the club.

I was always going to Lesbian when I transitioned... but it hasn't worked out that way.

Guys turn me on.... despite everything I hated about myself, I like that in guys.

There are good guys, just like there are also bad women.

Becky

[Julie Marie]

One of the most important things we need to focus on is being true to ourselves.  All our lives we've had things drummed into our heads but did anyone ever ask why?  No, we just accepted it.  If you are finding boys attractive then go for it girl!  If someone has a problem, it's their problem, not yours.

Lynn, we sometimes spend a lifetime seeking inner happiness.  When we find it we have a responsibility to ourselves to never let it go, no matter what.  A happier you can only make others happy and isn't that what this world should be all about?

[tinkerbell]

some guys can be sweet, some cute

*giggles* ....and sexy, and honest, and smart, and romantic, and hard-working, and respectful,  and sexy, and sexy, and sexy...oops!.*giggles again*

You go Lynn!

tinkerbell

[Hazumu]

My therapist says he gave up on guessing the orientation outcome of a particular client a long time ago -- he never did better than random guessing.  If you're MtF and you like guys, you're heterosexual -- girls and you're homosexual (textbook terminology.)  Same sort of thing for FtM.  One thing -- if a straight G-girl becomes infatuated with an FTM, the lack of proper standard equipment is generally not that big of an issue...

Karen

[Dennis]

Same sort of thing for FtM.  One thing -- if a straight G-girl becomes infatuated with an FTM, the lack of proper standard equipment is generally not that big of an issue...

Karen

And that's a good thing. I still have the OEM parts there. Gonna be a while before I can install aftermarket.

Dennis

[cindianna_jones]

I never thought that I would be interested in men.  I wasn't for years.  I really tried to find lesbian companioinship. But my work didn't allow for mooching in the hang outs.  I met a few girls I liked, but nothing ever really clicked. 

Guys kept after me and finally I relented.  I had a few insignificant periods of dating with some very interesting gents.  And I discovered it was okay to fall in love.  I thought that it was going to be the VP from a little startup company called Cisco Systems.  He didn't have a huge salary but he had lots of stock options. He asked me to marry him and move to Europe while he set up international operations.  I told him that I'd need to think about it.  He told me to take all the time I wanted.  He'd call me twice a week from The Hague. And he did.  Every time he wanted me to come join him.

And then I ran into Brick.  A hopeless romantic who had nothing.  I met him backpacking.  I was with someone else and so was he.  I thought he was gay and for that reason I didn't worry about him.  But he won my heart after some very persistant work and I had to let Mr VP go. He was very gentile about it but I know I hurt him.

Funny thing though... and I've always wondered about this.  I would still rather kiss a girl than a guy.  At least from what I remember.  I haven't kissed a woman for years.  There's just something about men... at least the ones I've known.. I don't enjoy kissing them.  Geeez, I hope Brick never reads this Cause to be honest,  he's not a very good kisser. <oh no>  Don't get the wrong idea... I'll love him forever. 

It's nice to have a little light heartedness on this very sad day.

Cindi

[Julie_in_MT]

Lynn,

In this case losing that battle means you won!!!

Julie

[Melissa]

I'm still trying to understand the nature of the battle. 

Melissa

[tinkerbell]

And then I ran into Brick.  A hopeless romantic who had nothing.  I met him backpacking.  I was with someone else and so was he.  I thought he was gay and for that reason I didn't worry about him.  But he won my heart after some very persistant work

This is so sweet, Cindi.  Brick is a lucky man indeed


tinkerbell

It really is a weird feeling because it feels so out of your control.

Yep! ...  totally out of control!    *giggles*

tinkerbell

[sheila18]

....  and sometimes you have to loose the battle to win the war 

LynnER:
I could not have said it better myself

go power rangers!  oops sorry
sheila18