Hi CJ, I know what you are saying. With me and about 40 years of hell I and many others can be classified as professionals(at least we are pros at something!) I,ve been sober since 12-07-08, except for some relapses. And you will have them. The thing with me now is all the other ailments that the booze hid!
You 're going thru a rough time and you may think you have it licked; but there is something hiding deep inside you. It's anger, frustration,elation. There's always a reason to drink, remember that and be ware of how cunning and sly IT can creep up on you. If you want to email me and we can talk. We all need some help at times, it can be frustrating and lonely. Oh and something else, be selfish. Do this only for yourself, the other things will fall in place given time. Love Jolene.